Two and a half years ago, the thought of having a penis or even a fingertip embedded in my bottom horrified me. Eighteen months ago, someone jonesing for my ass made me blush and cringe. By a year ago I was mostly cured, having experimented enough with solo butt-play that I felt nearly ready to give it up when the time was right.

I’ve since given it up, of course, and even though I’ve been giving it up for a little while now, I thought there existed butt-things that were still beyond the pale. Like, for example, doing the butt-thing in a room with other people.

“They know we do…that, right?” I asked him apprehensively in the days preceding our meeting.

“Yes, they know,” he told me. “They don’t do buttsex themselves though.”

“Oh. So they probably would be grossed out to see us doing it, right?”

“I wouldn’t necessarily say that,” he answered, smiling.

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t think I’m quite ready to show that off to other people.” I was nervous.

“As you wish, sugar.” And that was the end of the conversation.

But then the night in question arrived. We’d played with bottoms before we were joined. We’d had a nice giggle over bodily oddities. And I’d been getting the ever-loving life fucked out of me so thoroughly that my inhibitions had packed up and departed for parts unknown.

The other couple was on the opposing bed. My friend had me bent over our bed, face in the pillows, bottom upturned, his hand wrapped in my hair and pulling hard. I’d come so much and so hard that I feared I’d pass out from the pleasure.

Suddenly his mouth was right next to my ear. Even though we were being observed (closely), he was quiet enough that I’m sure they couldn’t hear what he said. “Do you want this in your ass, my little slut?”

I would have robbed banks for him at that point if he’d asked. I would have drunk the blood of infants. I would have voted Republican.

I would almost have given him this url.

“Yes Daddy,” I whimpered.

The room was silent as we followed our routine. He ever so slowly entered me, letting me adjust to the feeling of his big cock. It must have taken an extra-long time. It must have worried our friends. When finally he began fucking me in earnest, I could almost hear their mutual exhale.

And then one of them spoke quietly to me. “Does that feel good, XXXXXX?”

A thousand thoughts flashed through my mind of just exactly how good it felt, but I could put none of them into words. I suppose I could have nodded, but I was face-down in the pillows.

So I gave them the sign that in all languages and across the globe represents yes-oh-yes, this buttfucking does indeed feel good.

I think they all might have laughed at me, but I was in no shape to care.

So the moral of the story is this: If you give me many many orgasms, you can do just about whatever you’d like to me and I will not care. You could rip my limbs from their joints and suck the very marrow from my bones (if that sort of thing gets you off), and if you rub my clit in just the right way throughout, I’ll say nothing more than yes yes yes please more ohhhhh god yes.

It’s an amazing power. Use it only for good and never for evil, please.

Jun 282007
 

“Face down ass up, my little slut,” he requests, and as the ever-compliant lover I strive to be (and because I love doggie-style anyhow), I obligingly assume that position in the middle of the bed.

“Move back baby,” he demands, his long fingers pulling gently on my thighs. I shuffle somewhat awkwardly toward the edge of the bed, trying not to position either knee in the suspiciously-large wet puddle that appeared on the bed a half-hour earlier.

He pushes my head down more thoroughly into the pillows then dips his long cock into me just once. He withdraws and settles it against the opening to my bottom. His hands move off my hips; I want to turn and see what new devilry they are up to but I obediently keep my face in the pillows.

Lube. He pours it generously down the cleft of my bottom, then uses his finger to rub it inside me. A finger inside my bottom makes me blush and squirm (odd, then, that a cock doesn’t), so I beg him to exchange finger for cock.

“Be patient, little girl!” He continues for an almost embarrassingly long time, until finally I feel the head of his cock once again push against me.

This has become our routine: He makes the first gently stretching pushes into my bottom, to the point (I imagine, though we’ve yet to attempt photographic preservation of this moment) that his cockhead is nearly engulfed in me. He pauses then as I become absolutely silent in concentration. I breathe deeply and feel nothing but the all-consuming (but not even slightly painful) sensation of opening up my body to his. It requires quiet and complete stillness, the sexual version of a Zen meditation exercise. I breathe out very slowly and think of nothing but opening up.

He waits, not moving, not speaking, not touching me any more than is absolutely necessary.

When I’m ready I push back against him, glad for the lube he put inside me. I don’t understand why (and I prefer not to know), but each stroke in feels hot, so hot, and each stroke out feels cold. I think of asking him if he feels the same, but I cannot speak.

It’s a sensation completely unlike that of vaginal fucking. It feels hotter, dirtier, closer, more extreme. I soon beg him for the entire length of his penis; he gives it to me with a vengeance. And soon I’m screaming into the pillows.

If he moves just right (and oh this man can move, God can he move), he hits my g-spot with his cock from inside my bottom, which just may be my favorite feeling ever. If he does this, and if I’m sufficiently hydrated, and if I have the wherewithal to push at just the right moment, I gush. Fountains, rivers, torrents of hot fluid run down my legs, and if he’s lucky enough to have his hand in the right spot, he catches drops of liquid on his fingers and offers them to my mouth.

I love that.

Right before he comes, he pushes me down on the bed and crawls between my knees. I think he wants to wear me at that point, as if we could unzip our skins like two sleeping bags and zip us up back into one. I speak a string of meaningless noises and rock my hips; he bites hard into my shoulder before collapsing onto me.

Then we pray: OhGodohGodohGodohGodohGod.

He shifts slightly, concerned for my well-being below him. I beg him not to move, please don’t move.

We lie still for five minutes.

Eventually bodies move despite our best intentions. His cock works its way out of me, making me groan in dismay. The condom is discarded. I clean myself in the bathroom. We meet back in bed, twist around each other again, and lie still for five more minutes.

But then my hand softly strokes down his belly and his hand slides between my legs, and we start something new all over again, something that once again leaves me screaming into the comforter or the sheets or the pillows.

And I wonder the next day why I have such trouble speaking.

————

I redid the Photos page with a cool flash thingie.

 

Lubeless, pre-1991: I scoffed at lube. I though only women who were uninterested in sex (and therefore not making the proper natural lube) needed lube.

Come on, I was young. I didn’t know anything then.

******************

KY Tube #1, circa 1991 – 1997: My friends gave me an economy-size tube of KY Jelly as a gag gift before I was set to meet a man for a long weekend.

We didn’t use the lube. I blamed the inevitable chaffing on my inexperience. He was unaffected. I married him anyway. The lube mouldered in a bedside drawer, entirely unused.

******************

KY Tube #2, circa 1997 – 2006: Even after several years of marriage and the birth of my first child, I remained cluelessly lubeless.

When my postpartum check-up rolled around, I asked my doctor why it hurt so much to have intercourse. He asked if we used lube. “Of course not!” I answered. “I don’t need lube!”

He gave me a funny look, presented me with another economy-size tube of KY Jelly (wrapped in a brown paper bag for discretion’s sake) and ordered me to use it.

A couple of times I tried to use it, but the consistency and taste of KY were just awful. The husband hated it. I abhorred how sticky the stuff felt.

So we plodded on, having mostly-dry sex (when we managed to have sex at all). I did not consider that there might be alternatives to KY.

Were there alternatives to KY in 1997?

******************

Lube Epiphany, late 2006: Somehow I acquired a tiny bottle of KY Warming Jel. I don’t recall the circumstances of the acquisition. I experimented with using it during masturbation.

What a revolution. My fingers slid over my pussy instead of rubbing it raw.

I needed to know more.

******************

Lube Epiphany Continues, early 2007: The occasional lover arrived armed with a small tube or bottle of something. I became less and less shy about asking for its use–its liberal use. I scrutinized labels whenever I could to find out what I liked.

******************

Water-Based Lube Experimentation, late Winter – early Spring 2007: I began looking at websites and sex toys for Jane’s Guide. Babeland sent along various types of lubes they wanted to see featured on Jane’s.

I got to try a healthy handful of different varieties, noting their subtle differences in quality, texture and taste.

For example, Maximus feels great, especially for butt-play, but you wouldn’t want to taste it. Entice doesn’t taste bad and it’s beautifully packaged, but it’s a bit thin. The flavored Sliquids are fairly thick, have pleasingly subtle flavors, and dry cleanly.

******************

The First Taste of Heaven, Silicone Lube, Spring 2007: I read this impassioned love-letter to silicone lube; at the very same time, I tested a toy that came with a tiny bottle of silicone lube.

I was instantly hooked.

Silicone lube is so slippery, so rich. You can keep fucking yourself for hours with a butt-toy if you’d like. Hours, I tell you!

Not that I tried. I’m just theorizing.

******************

Fisting Takes a Lot of Lube, Late Spring 2007: So does butt-sex.

My friend and I went though vast quantities of lube. It wasn’t unusual for one small bottle to last only through one or maybe two sessions. The idea of having sex without lube? Unthinkable.

******************

Silicone Surfeit, mid-June 2007: Armed with a brand-new bottle of premium silicone lube, I met my friend for a long session of fun. We used the lube for hand-jobs. For fisting. For vaginal sex. For butt-sex.

We showered.

We next employed the lube for a long slow back massage. Then a drawn-out hand massage, which ended in some surprisingly hot finger-sucking.

Which moved right back into another hand-job. Then more sex, only this time with hair-pulling.

Then there was some erotic photography, with a hand-job given for the sake of fluffing. Then more sex, with more hair-pulling.

Can you imagine the state of my hair at the end of this? Sex-hair, full of silicone lube?

******************

Thus ends this short history told in lube. I can foresee many more raucous episodes where I end up with a happily lube-drenched body.

And now that I’m done writing this history, I’m going to attempt to take care of a small problem with my camera. The photos I’ve taken over the past few days look slightly blurry.

Silicone lube on the lens will do that, I guess.

 

After five minutes of frantic searching among the sheets, under the bed and in the corners of the room for the buttplug I’d been wearing as he fucked me half to death from behind, we were forced to admit that it was lost.

In me. The buttplug was lost in me.

“Do you want me to help you get it out?” he asked me gently.

I shook my head vigorously and stomped off to the bathroom. I was furious at myself for having lost the plug and for wasting our precious fucking time on something as foolish as buttplug recovery. I burned with humiliation at the thought of going to the ER to have the plug removed. Or worse, having my friend help me remove it.

With one foot up on the side of the tub, I could feel the plug through the back wall of my vagina. I attempted to move it down by squatting, by pushing, and by using a thin g-spot sex toy almost like a rake, vaginally.

Don’t laugh. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

However, none of the desperate measures worked. The plug was right there, but the little bastard simply would not budge. I wrapped myself in a towel and sulked back to the bedroom where my friend was waiting for me with a hopeful look on his face. I threw myself down on the bed and hid my face in his chest. He put his arm around me and kissed my head before speaking.

“Honey, we’ve got two choices here. We could wait for nature to take its course and hope that it’ll come out on its own. But if we do that, we can’t fuck any more tonight. I don’t want to push it any further into you.”

That option did not sound appealing.

He continued. “Or you can let me help you.” I groaned in dismay. “Baby, I’ve had my cock buried deep in your pussy and your ass. My fist as been in you. I’ve had my tongue everywhere. There’s not a bit of your body I haven’t seen and tasted. It’ll be ok.”

I raised my face from his chest so that I could look into his eyes. “Will you still love me if you have to fish a buttplug out of my ass?”

He didn’t look away or pause for even an instant. “I will still love you after I fish a buttplug out of your ass.”

Another man would have panicked, or acted grossed out, or never have wanted to touch me again. This man gamely positioned me at the foot of the bed and went to work. But for all his good intentions, that position did nothing but allow the errant plug to slither further inside of me.

Once again I hauled ass to the bathroom, this time with a vengeance. There was no way I was going to let that miserable little toy derail our evening together. I pushed. I stretched. I prodded. And when once again I felt the toy began to surface, I held on for dear life.

It came out.

“Oh good,” he murmured, when I returned to the bedroom with the cleaned toy in my hand. He pulled me into the bed and began kissing me. “As soon as you are recovered, I’m going to put something else in that tight little ass of yours.”

“Your cock, you mean?” I asked, between kisses.

He said yes very quietly into my ear.

“Baby, you’d better strap a two-by-four to your ass. You don’t want to get lost in there too.”

He laughed. “You need to write your memoirs someday, you know it? I hope I get a chapter. Or at least a mention.”

I just smiled. “You’ll get more than a mention, I’m sure.”

Jun 142007
 

It was with the greatest reluctance that I put my clothes on at midnight. I’d been naked for the previous five hours; my body screamed at the pain of covering up again.

I looked myself over in the mirror as I dressed. A pair of bruises bloomed on my left breast, near the nipple. Some tiny maroon marks marred the outer curve of my right breast. Another bruise developed later on my upper arm, a deep purple and green flower, a reminder of the night visible to anyone who might care to see.

I love the bruises. I love the intensity. I love the fact that even now, days later, there’s still a gentle ache deep in my pelvis from where the bones gently spread and adjusted to his fist in me.

Did you hear what I just said? My bones spread open for his hand. The ligaments stretched and expanded under his influence. My bones moved for him. God.

I love these things: A mouth opening up for his mouth, or his cock. My bottom raised high in the air, open and exposed for the plundering. His ass opening for my finger. My throat opening, allowing the tip of his cock to rest gently against the place that should trigger a gag reflex. Arms opened wide, welcoming him into a house, or a room, or a bed.

Eyes wide open to see pleasure.

It’s a wonderful thing to open up for a lover, to adjust my body and allow him do what he will. The times I’ve been pushed (or have pushed myself) to open more and wider and deeper, I expect to be permanently marked—left gaping, raw, ruined.

I’m not. Things close up again, gradually shifting back into place. My bottom goes back to a tight little dot. My throat relaxes. The ache in my jaw subsides. Torn skin heals. Bruises fade. A ragged voice becomes smooth again.

Even my pussy, stretched full by a fist inside, goes back to normal: a tiny, tight opening, barely wide enough allow my finger entry as I search for damage while showering. And my bones? Doubtlessly the ligaments will contract, shifting my bones back to where they belong.

There’s no damage. Nothing is permanent.

I’ll take it all in, enjoy it while it’s there, enjoy the pain of it leaving, and then it’s gone. And after it’s gone–after he’s gone–I’ll go back to normal.

Jun 072007
 

“Are you trying to lick my eyeball?” I asked.

“No, just your eyelashes.”

“Why are you trying to lick my eyelashes?”

“Because they’re there,” he told me.

“That makes sense.”

“It does. And if I actually do lick your eyeball, I will have had my tongue on every square inch of your body.”

I ran through a quick mental inventory. “That’s actually true. You’d better lick it then, just so the evening can be complete.”

“You don’t mind my tongue on your eyeball?”

“Did I mind your tongue here?” I wiggled a certain body part that had received oodles of tongue attention earlier. “Or here? Or here?” More wiggles.

“No, you didn’t seem to mind at all.” He placed his fingers back on one of those spots. My voice was destroyed from coming so loudly before, so we were both very very quiet for a few moments.

Eventually he spoke again. “It’s really too bad that I haven’t been able to make you come tonight.”

It took a moment for the joke to sink into my serotonin-flooded brain. “Yes, yes it is. Things just don’t seem to fit for us.” Bear in mind that as I spoke, we were wound around each other like snakes.

Regret hung heavy in his voice. “Right. We don’t click. Not at all.”

“Some people don’t. It’s just the way life works.”

“Well, what are we going to do about it?” he asked. “We’re naked…”

“That we are.” I squeezed one part of him that was particularly naked.

“And we’re together.”

“Yes, yes we are.”

“We have time to try again. Maybe it’ll be better this time.”

“I don’t have high hopes,” I told him. “The first time you gave this to me in the ass,” another gentle squeeze from my hand, “it felt just awful. I can’t imagine that doing it again would feel any better.”

He said, “All we can do is try. Are you game?”

I sighed. “If we must.”

So we did. And it was of precisely the same quality as the first time.

Apr 252007
 

When I was younger, I frequently slept on a twin bed.

But this post isn’t really about sleeping.

It’s about the fact that having my heels hooked over the edges of a twin mattress, knees spread wide, puss exposed, is one of the best routes to a huge orgasm for me. I learned this first when I was a teenager.

I’ve recently rediscovered this, as my current subterranean lair is equipped with only a twin bed. While it’s much smaller than the marital bed, it has the benefit of being quieter, less smelly, and completely bereft of cracker-crumbs, which were all too common in my old sleeping quarters.

If you’d have crept down the steep stairs into my lair the other day; if you’d have slipped out of your shoes so as to keep as quiet as possible; if you’d have poked first your nose, then your forehead, then your eyes around the corner; if you’d have allowed your sweaty palms to rest upon the ledge; here’s what you would have seen:

On the narrow bed, one girl, naked but for her bra, which was pushed down to expose her nipples. Her left hand, squeezing and pinching her left nipple. Her right hand, alternating between thrusting a silvery vibe between her pussy lips and circling said silvery vibe around her clit. Her entire body, thrusting back and down onto a red cock shaped piece of silicone wedged into her ass. Her heels, hooked firmly over the edges of the bed, making the muscles on her legs stand out clearly from the stress of keeping the knees wide, the thighs spread, the pussy exposed.

Could you see, from your vantage point by the stairs, how large the clit had grown? Maybe it wasn’t visible; maybe it wasn’t as large as it felt. It felt like a mountain under my vibe and my finger.

The sensation of that huge red toy was so screamingly good. It was hitting my g-spot from inside my bottom. Each thrust down and back, each time its fat red head caught that spot, fluid poured from me onto the towels I’d wisely placed beneath my bottom. Legs aching, heels numb from being hooked so firmly, I couldn’t stop thrusting down and back. I couldn’t stop my body from wanting more and more and more gushy orgasms. I couldn’t stop until my legs and my batteries all weakened together.

As my brain returned back to this level of existence, I had to look up. I had to glance over by the stairs. No one was there, of course; the house was empty at that moment but for sleeping little ones. Who would I possibly have expected to be there by the stairs?

In my fantasy, I was being watched by a man who’d crept down the stairs, who’d stood at the stairs letting his eyes and his mind roam over my exposed body. He’d wrenched his pants open, he’d drawn out his cock, he’d stroked it while he watched me getting off for him.

In my fantasy, he finally approached me and (physics be damned) slid his cock in between the toy in my bottom and the toy on my clit. He added the missing piece to the hat trick of stimulation.

Greedy, greedy girl, to be unsatisfied by the stimulation I had. Greedy for wanting more.

.

Apr 212007
 


For so long I’d lusted after a piece of Tantus silicone.

I’d heard wonderful things about the company and the products. I’d heard about other people getting to try out their products. I was guilty of extreme envy.

And then finally I was able to request the this red dildo as a review toy.

It arrived this morning, and for the past several hours, I’ve not been able to keep my hands off of it. It’s standing at attention next to me even as I write this. Every few moments I have to stop and caress it. My eyes are drawn to it.

Right after I unwrapped it, I gave it a thorough washing in the sink. Honestly, the washing I gave it was probably just a bit more than thorough. I lathered it up with lots of slippery liquid soap, stroking both of my hands up and down the shaft. I couldn’t stop stroking washing it; even when it was definitely, clearly, most emphatically clean, I was incapable of taking my hands off its slick veined surface.

When I sat it next to the sink, I discovered another quality of the toy that I hope is real and not just an illusion created by my sex-addled brain. Although it doesn’t have a suction cup on the base, the silicone material allowed it to stick pretty firmly to the countertop.

Wow. This opens up such possibilities in my mind. Can I perch the toy on the edge of my bathtub and fuck myself silly on it? I can’t wait to try.

I find I’m so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it is the excitement only a free woman can feel, a free woman at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain.

I hope I can make the Tantus stay put so I can fuck it.

I hope to see stars, and gush all over the place.

I hope the Tantus is as stiff as it has been in my dreams.

I hope.

(please, please forgive me)

Mar 122007
 

–click to enlarge–

Art made this for me.Evidently he thinks I’ve earned it.

I tend to agree.

Thank you, lovely Art. You are the best.

Mar 072007
 

“I’m going to bring a toy for you to try out, ” I’d told him, well in advance of our next scheduled meeting. “If you’re game to be my guinea pig, that is.”

“Oink,” was his only reply.

When I got there, I showed it to him. He’s not had much experience with things in his bottom, other than his own finger and now one of mine. Or maybe two of mine. At different times. Mostly. Two might have slipped in together at some point, but we won’t say too much about that at the present moment.

It’s a soft, completely non-threatening toy. Even in black, it would be hard to feel nervous about something so slim, so excitingly-rippled, so almost-entirely keychain-like.

The specs claim that it’s an inch in diameter, but I don’t believe it’s quite that wide.

My friend and I retired to his bedroom where he put me through my paces. I was kissed, sucked, licked and fingered…oh the fingering. I do love the fingering. But we’re not talking about me. We’re talking about the toy, in his bottom.

So eventually I wandered down between his legs, which he’d obligingly opened wide for me. He’s got such a nice package. Strong thick shaft ringed with a walnut-colored circumcision scar, tight wrinkly balls and the habit of getting hard with little or no provocation. I love that. Muscled curly-haired legs. Brown skin. Ah, but I’m getting distracted again. Toy, in his bottom. Righty-o.

He buried his cock in my mouth while I knelt between his thighs. I spent my time enjoying the smoothness of him against my lips and the hardness of him hitting up against the back of my throat. I’d pull away and slurp in his balls, one at a time, while he moaned. While he moaned–and spread his legs even more for me.

Oh he does like the finger in the ass while I’m blowing him. And I’ve given him the finger in the ass while I’m blowing him. That’s why I knew he’d make the perfect test subject for this ass-toy. When I’d wound him up to the point that his head was back and a small smile flitted across his lips, I asked him if he was ready. He was.

I had him slide a condom down over his new toy (the base of it is deeply grooved; I knew that clean-up would be far easier if we used a condom) and then dribble lube over the head of it. These things he did with anticipation in his eyes. And a hint of fear. But mostly anticipation. I think.

I just smiled reassuringly at him. “It’s very soft, see?” I demonstrated, bending the now-slippery toy in my hand. “And it’s really not much bigger than my finger. I think you’ll like at least as much as you like my finger.” I held them side-by-side for comparison’s sake.

“I’ll take your word for it,” he murmured before then put his head back on the pillow. “I trust you.”

I love that. Of all the wanton reasons there might be to love anal-play, this is the thing I love the most. If you give over your ass to someone, you must trust them. You must open up to them. Having that trust given to me thrills me in a way I cannot explain. Perhaps it’s because it such a contrast to the lack of intimate trust I experienced in my marriage. But as they say, comparisons are odious, and we are talking about the toy. In his bottom.

Because the toy is so appealingly soft, it needed a bit of coercion in order to be slid into my friend. I encouraged it in with the help of my finger while he encouraged his cock by stroking it. “Too much? Not enough?” I asked him, peeking at his face over the tip of his cock, which was dripping pre-cum down his shaft.

“More, put more of it in,” he requested tersely, so I did. I put it in all the way up to the little grab-ring on the end…and then I started thrusting it.

He seemed to like that, if his groans were any indication. My hands were very slick by that point, but the ring helped me hold it firmly. My preference would be for a much more solid ass-toy; this one nearly folded over with the force of my thrusting, but my friend had no issues with the sensations it delivered.

Eventually he stopped me, pulling me up roughly by my wrists. “I have to fuck you now,” he said hoarsely. “Get on your hands and knees.”

“Do you want to take the toy out first? I’m not sure it’ll stay in place while you are in me. The base isn’t really narrow enough for that. It might slip out.” Yes, I really actually said that then. I am such a dork.

“I don’t care,” he snarled, throwing on a condom, and in an instant I was pushed over and roughly pierced from behind. An orgasm roared through him minutes later, as he pushed my head down into the pillows so my screams wouldn’t wake the neighbors.

I like it like that. And because I asked him later, after he’d begun breathing normally again, I know that he liked it like that too.

______

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