Readers, this is awesome. You might not realize that Jane has been at this whole porn-site review thing for over twelve years now. Twelve years! Can you imagine the perseverance it takes to keep producing valuable content on the ‘net for over a decade?
Can you think of many others who have done the same? Especially in the area of sex? I’ll wait while you think.
:: waiting ::
Right, there aren’t many.
I’d love it if you’d give Jane’s Guide a little love today. How, you ask? How can I, the humble aag reader, offer support to Jane’s Guide? Let me show you the ways:
At the same time, I’m getting more and more requests for help with moving limp, tired (*cough*Blogger*cough*) websites over to shiny new self-hosted WordPress.org installations; all tricked out with bells, whistles and (natch) Twitter widgets. Not that I’m complaining! I love this stuff too!
So I’ve decided to roll these two causes into one big ball of awesomeness. Leave a donation of $50 (or more) and I’ll deduct your donation from my site building fee. Typically I can set up your domain name on web hosting (you buy these; price plans here), transfer in your current material, and implement whatever new design you’d like with your final cost in the range of $200 to $300 depending on the size and complexity of your site and how much hand-holding you require to learn the new system.
Who benefits? We all do. CineKink gets sponsors, you get an awesome new site and recognition for helping out a worthy cause and I get work which will keep me from getting into more trouble than I already get into on a daily basis. WIN! Win all around!
Want to get in on this? Send me an email as soon as possible letting me know your intentions. I’ll invoice you via PayPal; as soon as you bust out the dollars I’ll put you on my list. It could not be more simple.
Awesomeness?
Yes! Extreme awesomeness!
And even if you aren’t in need of a spanky new site you can go right ahead and click that little “donate” button. Why? BECAUSE YOU’RE A NICE PERSON WHO SUPPORTS THE KINKY ARTS, THAT’S WHY!
***This offer is limited to just ten respondents because if I accept more than that my fingers really will fall off and then I’d give lousy handjobs. And that would make my partner very VERY unhappy. I will post when I’ve reached the limit. My limit of donations, not handjobs. I’m going to stop talking now.***
Co-founder and director of CineKink Lisa Vandever is looking for a group of kinky film-lovers to help spread the word about the kinky film festival. I’d love it if you’d read below about her work and check out the website for more information.
I’d love it even more if you’d repost, tweet, facebook and otherwise share this post about CineKink’s events and need for support.
And I would love love love it most of all if you’d consider becoming a Proud CineKinkster yourself. Read on for all the details. –aag
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The seventh annual edition of CineKink NYC is scheduled for February 16-21, 2010.
Once again the kinky film festival will feature a specially-curated program of films and videos that celebrate the wide diversity of sexuality. Along with a wealth of screenings, plans for the event also include a short film competition, audience choice awards, presentations, gala kick-off party and sexy AfterGlow celebration, all to be followed with a national screening tour.
While we’re just finalizing the schedule, among this year’s stories are a couple’s first brush with the world of swinging, a judge forced to choose between his legal career and his wife’s hunger for S/M and a French sex farce with actual sex in it! Viewers will also get a look at the boylesque sensation Waxie Moon and take part in “Bring It!,” our annual show-down between some of adult entertainment’s hottest directors.
Attendance at the CineKink NYC event, which runs over six days, averages 3,200-3,400 overall. Turn-out for tour appearances, which vary market-to-market in terms of venue size and number of screenings, ranges between 150-1,500 per city.
Additionally, mail updates currently go out direct to nearly 2,000 CineKink subscribers. These updates are also posted to various lists and groups both local and national, targeted primarily to people interested in alternative sexuality, and forwarded regularly to others within the communities. Estimate total reach for this is around 20,000 people per update.
Mention of our sponsors also goes out to our list of approximately 1,200 press contacts which cover mainstream, adult and alternative media outlets. All sponsors are included in press releases we send in advance of CineKink NYC; press releases for tour appearances include mention of all sponsors at the Gold level or higher.
We would love to have you as one of our official sponsors! Included below is information on our sponsorship packages, each designed to give businesses and individuals affordable opportunities for exposure. In addition to the levels detailed below, we will happily tailor a package or benefit to meet your individual marketing needs. Alternative opportunities might include the sponsorship of a specific event or screening, or even a CineKink festival award presented in your company’s name. Information on additional options and advertising opportunities can be found on the CineKink sponsorship page or send me an email with any other questions!
Want to get in on the action and earn some nice publicity for your own kinky endeavors? A donation of just $50 gets your name and URL listed in the CineKinksters area of the website. This is a new level of sponsorship created for individuals and small businesses; it’s a great way to help out and get your name seen by a huge sex-positive crowd.
Want more publicity for your blog? Own a business that could use more kinky customers? Love supporting sex-positive expression? Donate today.
Your intrepid blogger has been a busy little beaver lately. So painfully over-scheduled was I this past weekend that there was hardly a free minute for showering, and so far this week it looks like the only way everything’s going to get done is if I forgo sleeping.
Is that possible?
What have I been up to, you ask? Have a look at these fun projects:
I’m in the middle of a full site overhaul for my good pal The Fat One in the Middle. We’ve still got a little work to do but it should be all set by mid-week.
Joanna Cake of Having My Cake and Eating It Too has a brand-spanky-new WordPress site. I think she’ll be quite happy with it once she irons out all the differences between WordPress and Blogger (*cough*Bloggersux*cough*).
Considering the fact that during the five days of my trip I probably had more face-to-face adult interaction than in the previous five years, I think I did pretty well.
For example, I did not attempt to cut up anyone else’s dinner. Nor did I demand that myroommates pick up any dropped clothing from the floor before they got out any toys. And I’m almost entirely certain that I wore pants each and every time that pants-wearing was socially expected (and perhaps even a few times when it wasn’t).
I also, believe it or not, used makeup (including foundation, powder, mascara, lip gloss and eyeliner [yes, even eyeliner!]) multiple times per day on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Do you understand what a big effing deal this is? The last time I had the need to wear five kinds of makeup five days in a row was well over a decade ago when a full-time job more or less forced me into regular applications of paint. Let’s hope that ten years need not pass again before I find another reason to be fancy, or at least fancy based on the very lax standards of my usual life.
Maybe next time I’ll have matured to the point that I can wear something other than jeans and black t-shirts.
As you read this I’m on my way to Las Vegas for the Adult Entertainment Expo, where I plan to hobnob ’til my nobs can take no more hobbing — or until my never-far-from-the-surface misanthropy overwhelming shyness kicks in and I have to find a corner in which to cower.
I’m so looking forward to meeting in real life some people I’ve known for years in the cyber realm. Expect periodic reports here and on Twitter, and wish me luck in not feeling too terribly out of place amongst all the beautiful people.
I always think it can’t possibly get any busier around here, and then comes a month like this one, which was so overwhelming that I’m not sure I’ve slept since that holiday with the firecrackers.
Want to appreciate the magnitude of werds we’ve turned out? Read on…
Icegasm Review on Jane’s Guide: “The toy melted silently (and surprisingly slowly) for a good hour while he warmed me up. After a particularly inspiring round of buttsex he rolled me over, pried open my legs and applied the chilly treat to my pussy. I can honestly say that the first second of frigid buzzing was exquisite. The contrast between hot and cold felt amazing. I’m pretty sure I screamed a little, in the very best of ways. But after that first second the chill became unbearable.”
It arrived in a clear plastic box with nary a single picture of a bikini-clad lady. This is such a plus in my book. I could live my entire life without seeing another bikini-clad lady on a vibrator box.”
How could you not like a site which features the incredible Madison Young fisting her own ass on the first page? I for one am powerless against her charms.
There’s even a photo set telling the story of Katya’s mishap with a too-high pair of heels. This is perfect for all you sprained-ankle-fetishist out there.
Believe it or not, Jane’s Guide is not the only site which reviews porn. Shocking, isn’t it? AdultSiteSurfer.com (ASS for short — clever!)has been cranking out reviews for the past seven years.
Whew! If you’re more of an erotica writer than an erotica reader, sign up to submit stories to the site. You’ll receive the warm fuzzy glow of recognition and perhaps a paycheck.
The good ol’ interwebs sure do offer up lots of dating sites. Trouble is, most of them aren’t much good.
Most of the men featured are young, not very hairy, well-hung and uncircumcised. Oh, and hot. Did I mention hot?
However, the webmaster seems to have a bit of an axe to grind with some other folks in the violet wand scene. I’m not sure his website is the best place to air these grievances, as it seems like unnecessary drama.
Before It’s Too Late: My sex talk came from my mom when I told her I was six months pregnant at the age of seventeen. “Why didn’t you tell us you were having sex? We could have put you on something.” Not coming home until five in the morning apparently wasn’t enough of a clue for her.
Kindergarten Questions: “Yes, Scott, what you heard is true, but listen closely, because this is important. Boys put their penises in girls’ vaginas, but NOT UNTIL THEY ARE TWENTY.”
Women and Books: I was astonished by the whole thing. I simply had no suspicions that such an act ever occurred.
A Mother’s Day Gift: Having said good bye to all my friends as Sex 2.0, I headed to my car for the long drive north. It was Mother’s Day weekend and I wanted to be home with my children when they woke up that next morning as I have always been these past years. I would have hours on that drive home to think and process all I had learned that day at Sex 2.0 and all of the people I had met.
We’ll be doing another Sunday Brag-Along this week, so stop back then and give your favorite posts a little extra attention.
“Mommy, our table is all cleaned up!” My son yelled this as he raced over to examine the surface which moments before had been home to an energetic episode of play-dough exploration.
I agreed with him that the table was indeed all cleaned up. “How do you suppose that happened?” I asked him.
“It just did. It’s magic.” His eyes were wide; his voice entirely without guile. It his mind supernatural forces are responsible for all sorts of otherwise incomprehensible acts, the cleaning of play-dough encrusted tables included.
I just smiled and went back to work, writing for approximately 45 seconds (during which time I wrote seven words and deleted eight, plus a comma) before my daughter thrust a fuzzy toy into my face. “Mommy, do unicorns have wings?”
“Hm, I don’t think so,” I said absently. “But I guess they could if you wanted them to. Unicorns are imaginary.”
She thrust the toy back in my face and said with indignation, “Mom. Unicorns are real. What do you think this is?” She raced off, leaving me a minute and a half of solid writing time (twelve words written, a set of parentheses added and the word “parentheses” checked for accuracy in the dictionary) before a cadre of larger children began campaigning for snacks.
We continued in this start-and-stop fashion for the entire day, interrupted additionally for swimming lessons, email, various phone consultations, two loads of laundry, meals and an impromptu trip to the dealership seeking repair for a bit of the minivan’s underbelly which suddenly began dragging upon the ground. The day ended for them with tearing around the backyard like a herd of wildebeests before collapsing into bed a few minutes before 8.
Then I collapsed on the couch and wearily switched on the computer. As I idly paged through Facebook and my terminally clogged feed reader a small voice in the back of my head repeated “You must get to work. Quit goofing off. You have to start working,” and so ludicrous was the idea that I hadn’t already been working all bleeding day long that I laughed out loud.
And then I got to work in earnest, finishing tasks that had languished undone throughout the day and frantically trying to rectify my perpetual backlog of work at Jane’s Guide until finally, still not completely done, I fell into bed at midnight.
I don’t know how mommies who work real jobs do it.
No matter what frantic magnitude of work I assign myself, I cannot shake the feeling of being horribly lazy. No matter what I’m doing, I feel guilty that I’m not doing something else.
Writing for aag? I should be working for Jane’s Guide. Writing for Jane’s? I should be working on Beyond the Birds and the Bees. Laboring away as BeBe? I should be vacuuming. Vacuuming? I should be playing with the kids. Playing with the kids? I should be organizing the goddamn spice/medicine/band aid cabinet. And on and on and on.
In an effort to convince myself that I’m not an indolent wastrel I’ve begun jotting down quick lists of tasks completed on a day-to-day basic. Does laundry count? Damn straight it does. So does untangling recalcitrant WordPress plugins and strands of children’s beads. Weeding counts. Cooking dinner counts. Everything counts, and perhaps once I learn to count everything I’ll no longer discount everything.
You may join in the fun as well. Have a peek below at a smattering of things posted over at Jane’s lately:
Teen Sex Shack: Click on the link to TeenSexShack.com and instantly be treated to the sight of a pig-tailed young woman bouncing enthusiastically upon a man stretched out on a … could it be? Could it be a bus seat? Why yes, I believe it is!
Hot Red Apple: I love the fact that Quiring’s photos are gorgeously artsy and yet still look real. Skin has texture, faces have lines, and thighs even show a few quite beautiful stretch marks.
Anal for Women: The webmaster tells me that she was tired of sites that portray anal sex as something painful, degrading or non-consensual.
Free Gooey Porn: Under normal circumstances I would have ignored a site like this one, as it is pure, unadulterated crap with nary a single redeeming feature. But how could I resist a name such as FreeGooeyPorn.com?
Voytastic: A crack team of Russian voyeurs turns their cameras on dressing rooms to capture folks getting naked.
Sean Uncut: They feature the single worst set of thumbnails I’ve ever seen. A whole page of gray squares whose only differentiation lies in a slightly greater or lesser degree of grayness? Another page with near-identical nipple shots? Please! If these are automatically generated, please add the human touch, Sean. If they are personally created…well then I really have no advice.
Photo4Photo: Photo4Photo.com cannot distinguish between porn photos and non-porn photos. Oh yeah, I went there. It gladly gobbled up images of a pretty woman’s face and a daisy, in each case spitting back hardcore photos.
Insex Archives: Prices are listed in Euros and are quite steep; $84 USD per month is the single most pricey membership fee I’ve ever seen.
Bloomy from Babeland: And this is a very good thing, because Bloomy is excessively versatile. Use it in a girl’s vagina or anyone’s ass.
Dai-Do #1 from Big Teaze Toys: “We’re going to have to warm this up before you even think about putting it in me,” I warned. He jokingly threatened to use it on me unwarmed. I jokingly threatened to put it in his bottom, large end first. Suddenly he agreed with me that warming it up prior to use would be a wonderful idea.
G-Pop from SteelVinyards: I was pretty blissed out, but not so much that I was unaware of a sharp crack as my partner brought the toy toward my body. “Are you ok?” I asked, worried that he’d chipped a tooth and would soon be going to the dentist instead of making me come.
SmartBalls Teneo Duo from Babeland: Also, they’re often painted in fake gold paint, which peels off. Ew. No one wants fake gold paint peeling off in the coochie. At least I don’t.
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Contact me at aagblog @ gmail dot com.
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