I gotta tell you, I was expecting something awful. I was expecting PUA tips and negging advice but — happy surprise! — it was not like that at all. Instead the author, who developed his methods from years of his own and his friends’ dating experiences¹, says that the best way to find the right woman is to date lots of women.

Wow. I kind of agree with this.

Does your system work only for men? I asked Mr. Locario. Or should women also attempt to date lots of guys? I half-expected to hear a negative answer for this, justified by some claptrap about how women are different because SCIENCE but once again I was pleasantly surprised. Mr. L said that a person of any gender and any orientation — from 18-year-olds just getting into dating to oldsters² approaching it again after divorce — can benefit from his rules.

The goal, he explained, is not only to date sheer numbers of partners but also to knock down notions about the type of person who would make a good partner. He pointed out how frequently women turn down prospective dates because of some arbitrary unimportant feature — not being tall enough, for example. Do you think women do this more than men? I asked, and he answered in the affirmative. Hm.

Not so sure I agree with you, Mr. L, but absent any credible studies on this count we’ll chalk it up to selection bias and leave it at that.

And how to track down enough women to make sexing it up with two of them a possibility? His advice essentially is this: Talk to everyone, be positive, and take rejection well. I. Love. It. Talk to everyone! Even women who don’t fit your usual type! Listen to what they say, and compliment them on the things that are meaningful to you! As the recipient of much shallow flattery over the years I cannot tell you how much I like that advice.

Best of all, Mr. Locario is very clear that not every woman is going to respond well to a potential suitor’s advances. “Rejection has nothing to do with you,” he says. Maybe she’s got a boyfriend³. Maybe she’s too busy. Maybe she’s intimidated. Maybe she’s a lesbian. Mr. L even sets out specific strategies for how to manage feelings of rejection. Wise advice. Wise advice that we all could use.

I so appreciate the fact that Mr. Locario’s book stresses honesty throughout. “Don’t go into detail with names or numbers,” he told me, “but be upfront that you’re into casual dating only.” What if, I asked, a potential partner was looking for something more? “Don’t date her,” he said. People who use this approach should be clear that they’re looking for experience and variety, not to settle down.

Safety ties into this. There’s a whole section in the book about condom usage, STI tests and the avoidance of pregnancy. I really like that Mr. L places the burden for this squarely on the shoulders of his intended audience. There’s no shifting the responsibility to the ladies. There are also no exceptions. He’s very clear that if you’re sleeping with lots of people, barriers are absolutely crucial.

Would you like to learn more about this approach? Mr. Locario has two (two!) copies of his book to give away to my readers. Leave a comment below and I’ll choose our winners on Monday, August 29th at 12:01am Eastern. Please include a functional email address in the appropriate field (it will only be visible to me) so that I can contact you!

1. he is now in a relationship of five years
2. Ahem, like yours truly
3. Who she does not want to cheat on, ahem.

======================

This post, Author Interview: How to Have Sex With Two Women a Day & a Contest, originally appeared on aag on Tuesday, August 23, 2011. Tweet This Post!

======================

I said Hell yeah, so he sent me this fun vampire get up.

It’s still a few weeks before the big event but I wanted to give it a test-run well in advance. I was impressed with the cape, which is silky, thick and made of rich-looking fabric. It’s nice that they include extras such as fangs, a choker, shoulder straps and a belt. And the dress itself is sturdily-made, which I didn’t expect from a piece meant to be worn only a few times.

Here’s my problem with the garment: There’s no way I could wear it out of the house. I’m fairly tall, and with the bodice sitting at a reasonable height on my chest, my ass was uncovered enough to get me charged with indecent exposure. If I yanked it down to shield my rear my tits were hanging out. Either of these scenarios would be acceptable (or awesome!) in the bedroom but out in public? Not so much.

Probably the vampire dress would work fine for someone with smaller tits or less height, but I’m going to have to relegate this costume for indoor use only. Alas.

But that’s okay because you can still get in on the fun. Leave a comment below letting us know which Lingerie.com costume you’d like to wear on that frightening night and why. Would you like to seduce your partner in a French maid outfit?  Fight crime as Batgirl? Or stay home for some private fun in pasties and boyshorts?

I’ll choose one comment from those left by 12:01am Thursday, October 7th; its author will win any in-stock costume worth up to $75 from Lingerie.com.

Get it? Got it? Good. Now comment below and have fun!

Pssst–Check out Lingerie.com’s selection of sale priced Halloween costumes too.

======================

This post, Yes, But Can I Give a Blowjob While Wearing Fangs?, originally appeared on aag on Tuesday, October 5, 2010. Tweet This Post!

======================

Leave a comment below with the item (or items!) you’d choose with around $95 US dollars and I’ll enter you into a random drawing to be held on Monday, February 15th at 12:01 am. This particular contest is open to anyone 18 and up who lives anywhere in the world.

Thanks, Bondara!

Everyone else, get to commenting!

======================

This post, Bondara Swag, originally appeared on aag on Friday, February 12, 2010. Tweet This Post!

======================

To enter, leave a comment below letting me know which of their advertising posters you like best. They’re awesome; I’m plotting where to hang this one, which is coming to my house soon. I’ll let Random.Org choose our two winners on Monday, October 19th at 12:01 a.m.

In order to win you’ll need to be 21 or older (it’s liquor, folks!) and live in the US.  Also, please make sure to leave a working email address.

Go check out Original Sin and leave your comment below.

======================

This post, Swag!, originally appeared on aag on Saturday, October 17, 2009. Tweet This Post!

======================

Thus in some cases terribly pricey objects are not particularly functional, such as $14,000 boots (would you use them in the rain?),  a bra made from diamonds (would you use it ever?) or a solid gold toilet (they wouldn’t let you use it).

Expensive-yet-useless products can be found in every sector of commerce but at no time is it more annoying to acquire one than when you intend to put it in your holiest of holies. Has anyone (er, at least anyone reading this blog) escaped the trauma of buying an expensive product said to be indescribably pleasurable only to find that it is at best mediocre?

This is my final post there, so on Monday August 17th at 12:01 am I’ll randomly choose the winner of the $100 gift card. Happy commenting!

======================

This post, Last Babeland Post, originally appeared on aag on Friday, August 14, 2009. Tweet This Post!

======================

Right now 82 stories are up on the site. I’m so impressed by the breadth of experiences shared so far. It’s been such a honor to read, edit and publish the submissions, even when they make me cry. Perhaps especially when they make me cry.

To celebrate this auspicious occasion, Babeland has generously agreed to supply one contributor with a lovely piece of erotic glass. Think that’s a too-fancy way of saying “a pretty glass dildo“? You haven’t seen this pretty glass dildo, which really should be displayed in some sort of display case and which comes with its own little blankie.

I’ll randomly choose one entrant from amongst the next group submitted to the site. When we get to 100 total stories (or Monday, July 20th at 12:01 am, whichever of these comes last) the contest will close. I’m guessing that we’ll get the necessary entries by that date; if the contest continues on longer I’ll post a message here.

If you’re the winner, you’ll need to supply a shipping address (US only) so that Babeland can get the swag to you. Keep in mind that I’m accepting newly-written tales and entries that were previously published.

Go share your story now!

======================

This post, First Hundred Entries, originally appeared on aag on Saturday, July 18, 2009. Tweet This Post!

======================

I’ve got some swag to give away, but this time y’all are going to have to work for it.  I’ll randomly choose one person who shares a tale with Beyond the Birds and the Bees between now and Sunday, July 5th at 12:01 am Eastern time to win a whole box full of fabulous swag.

All you have to do to enter is include your story on the standard submissions form, making sure to include a working email address.  I’ll use my favorite random number generator to choose our winner then email him or her at some point on Sunday morning.  This particular contest is limited to US residents only.

And what will our lucky winner get?  I’m so glad you asked!

• A Tunti Illuminated Boudoir Toybox, reviewed here on Jane’s Guide (value $89.95).
• A new Tickler, made by RubyGlass21.com and reviewed here on Jane’s Guide (value $24.99).
• A copy of Sex Parties 101 (value $14.35).
• Any other fun little odds and ends I can cram into the Tunti Toybox before I package it up.

You get a shot at over $125 worth of cool stuff in exchange for some words.  Go for it.

======================

This post, Tuesday Super-Swag, originally appeared on aag on Tuesday, June 30, 2009. Tweet This Post!

======================

“Then don’t talk,” he said, not looking up from the prescription pad.

So I’m attempting not to talk.  I’m extending the vocal ban to writing as well, not because I sound out the words as I type (I don’t!  Really!) but because I prefer to mourn my lack of energy and good health in complete silence.  Except for when I’m whining.  I’ll save my voice for that.

Instead I’ll offer you some swag.  Joseph Reid will send one lucky winner an 8″x10″ or 11″x14″  print of one of his nudes — your choice.  By clicking on the link or by leaving a comment, you verify that you are 18 (or 21, depending on your location) and can legally view images of naked people.  NAKED PEOPLE ZOMG!!!!!

Check out all of his photos while you’re there.  The portraits are particularly striking.

Please only enter if you’re a US resident who can provide a street address for FedEx shipping.  If you’re not willing to hand over your shipping address so we can get the print to you, please don’t enter.  We can’t teleport the swag to you.  Really.

Leave a comment with a working email address between now and when the contest ends on Monday, March 23rd at 12:01 am.  I’ll randomly choose and then notify the winner via email shortly thereafter.

Good luck!

======================

This post, Whining Weekend Swag, originally appeared on aag on Friday, March 20, 2009. Tweet This Post!

======================

Just leave a comment below to enter the contest.  Enter a working email address so that I can contact the winner shortly after the contest ends at 12:01 am Monday, March 9th.  This is one of the very few contests I’ve held where I *won’t* need a mailing address, so if that’s been a concern in the past you can post without worry this time.  I’ll be choosing the winner randomly, using the swift and mysterious algorithms at Random.org.

Go check out their sexy lingerie, high heels and plus size lingerie.  They’ve also got some great sales going on right now.

Happy entering!

======================

This post, Surprise Friday Swag, originally appeared on aag on Friday, March 6, 2009. Tweet This Post!

======================

Jollies is now all stocked up on the delightful Mr. Man dildo, which enables a female-bodied person to receive a blow job.  I tried it and loved it when Luze from Jollies first sent me one.

Now it’s even better because it’s been redesigned to fit in a standard O-ring harness.  I didn’t get to try this, but Essin’-Em did.  Read her take on Mr. Man here, and what we had to say about it on Jane’s Guide here.

Would you like to win a Mr. Man all of your own?  Of course you would!  Leave a comment below telling us what you’d do with Mr. Man in 100 words or fewer.  Please enter a working email address, which will be visible only to me.  I’ll choose the entry I like best after the contest ends on Monday, December 8th at 12:01 am.  If you win, you’ll need to supply a shipping name and address to Jollies in order to have the product sent to you.

Happy commenting, and good luck!

======================

This post, Mr. Man Saturday Swag, originally appeared on aag on Saturday, December 6, 2008. Tweet This Post!

======================