“Life is short. Have more sex,” reads the signature line in Mr. Locario’s email, and that’s certainly a goal I can support. His message to me announced the publication of a new book, How to Have Sex with 2 Women a Day, and while such a missive usually would have been hurled into the midden heap with extreme prejudice like so many other similar offers, something about this one piqued my interest enough to reply. We set up a phone interview for a few days in the future; in the meantime sent along a copy of the book for my perusal.

I gotta tell you, I was expecting something awful. I was expecting PUA tips and negging advice but — happy surprise! — it was not like that at all. Instead the author, who developed his methods from years of his own and his friends’ dating experiences¹, says that the best way to find the right woman is to date lots of women.

Wow. I kind of agree with this.

Does your system work only for men? I asked Mr. Locario. Or should women also attempt to date lots of guys? I half-expected to hear a negative answer for this, justified by some claptrap about how women are different because SCIENCE but once again I was pleasantly surprised. Mr. L said that a person of any gender and any orientation — from 18-year-olds just getting into dating to oldsters² approaching it again after divorce — can benefit from his rules.

The goal, he explained, is not only to date sheer numbers of partners but also to knock down notions about the type of person who would make a good partner. He pointed out how frequently women turn down prospective dates because of some arbitrary unimportant feature — not being tall enough, for example. Do you think women do this more than men? I asked, and he answered in the affirmative. Hm.

Not so sure I agree with you, Mr. L, but absent any credible studies on this count we’ll chalk it up to selection bias and leave it at that.

And how to track down enough women to make sexing it up with two of them a possibility? His advice essentially is this: Talk to everyone, be positive, and take rejection well. I. Love. It. Talk to everyone! Even women who don’t fit your usual type! Listen to what they say, and compliment them on the things that are meaningful to you! As the recipient of much shallow flattery over the years I cannot tell you how much I like that advice.

Best of all, Mr. Locario is very clear that not every woman is going to respond well to a potential suitor’s advances. “Rejection has nothing to do with you,” he says. Maybe she’s got a boyfriend³. Maybe she’s too busy. Maybe she’s intimidated. Maybe she’s a lesbian. Mr. L even sets out specific strategies for how to manage feelings of rejection. Wise advice. Wise advice that we all could use.

I so appreciate the fact that Mr. Locario’s book stresses honesty throughout. “Don’t go into detail with names or numbers,” he told me, “but be upfront that you’re into casual dating only.” What if, I asked, a potential partner was looking for something more? “Don’t date her,” he said. People who use this approach should be clear that they’re looking for experience and variety, not to settle down.

Safety ties into this. There’s a whole section in the book about condom usage, STI tests and the avoidance of pregnancy. I really like that Mr. L places the burden for this squarely on the shoulders of his intended audience. There’s no shifting the responsibility to the ladies. There are also no exceptions. He’s very clear that if you’re sleeping with lots of people, barriers are absolutely crucial.

Would you like to learn more about this approach? Mr. Locario has two (two!) copies of his book to give away to my readers. Leave a comment below and I’ll choose our winners on Monday, August 29th at 12:01am Eastern. Please include a functional email address in the appropriate field (it will only be visible to me) so that I can contact you!

1. he is now in a relationship of five years [↩]
2. Ahem, like yours truly [↩]
3. Who she does not want to cheat on, ahem. [↩]