From time to time someone gets cranky about an aspect of our insular little world and pops off a comment referencing the “in” group of sex-bloggers, whose members they invariably characterize as sycophantic, humorless and exclusive. Every time this happens I have to shake my head because in nearly five years of writing in this genre, I have not yet met such a creature.
Who are its members? Where are its members? What passwords or secret handshakes exist to grant one entrance? I don’t know! I’ve never heard of anyone who does know, nor even a breath of a whisper of a hint that would suggest the reality of this “in” group, and you know why? Because there is no “in” group. There are, however, many of us who feel passionately about certain topics, including two or three which have caused quite a kerfuffle lately — and rightly so.
The glorious interconnectedness of the ‘net means that if you post a blog about a topic abhorrent to me and I’m hosting your ad, your assholery rubs off on me. I look like a jerk by proxy, and trust me when I say that I do a fine enough job of looking like a jerk without anyone else’s help.
This phenomena seems to be getting more pronounced as Twitter, Facebook and other social media draw us into an ever more tightly woven network. The growing pains are sharp but they’re not nearly over. Companies have to be more cognizant than ever about how they look to their customers:
So what is the point of all this? The point is, FORGET YOUR BRAND. You don’t own it because it is literally nothing. You can spend all sorts of time and money trying to manufacture public opinion, but ultimately, that’s up to the public, now isn’t it?
You know the best way to get the public to respect your brand? Have a respectable brand. Offer a great, innovative product and make responsible, ethical business decisions.
I’ll add this: When you fuck up — and we all fuck up — have the ovaries to admit it. Face your failure, apologize for the misstep and promise to make things right. Look, it’s dead simple:
- “Our current linking strategy really isn’t building the kind of collaboration we want to encourage. Give us a week to reevaluate, during which we’d love to have your constructive feedback in our forums; at the end of this time we’ll roll out a new policy that will be fair to everyone.”
- “Our company makes products specifically designed to help people explore and enjoy their sexuality no matter what their body type. We’re saddened and embarrassed to have posted an article that suggests otherwise. We have removed the piece in question and in the future we’ll hire more qualified writers and better vet their work before allowing it on our site.”
- “After receiving an enormous amount of feedback on this topic we’ve come to the conclusion that linking to someone who put a bounty on sex workers was ill-advised at best. We’re proud to fight for sex-workers’ safety and human rights, and in the future we’ll do better to respond to their concerns promptly.”
Kindergartners know to do this when they’re wrong. CEOs should follow their example.
Should companies about-face with every complaint? Not hardly. But when dozens or hundreds start flowing in, it’s time to realize that those messages come not from anonymous nobodies but actual human beings who may in fact work in the very fields they’re critiquing and who quite literally put food on your table and a roof over your head. Consumers have more ability than ever to know you and contact you. Expect to be held accountable. Expect it if you are a blogger writing to an audience of dozens or if you are the President of a Fortune 500 company.
Do your opinions on these topics differ from mine? That’s ok. Economics being what they are right now, I cannot condemn anyone who keeps their ties to a company I’ve criticized. It’s hard to turn down affiliate checks no matter how small; it’s even harder to contemplate giving up full-time employment based on the experiences others have had. Affiliate away. Work away. But for the love of God have an exit strategy because my gut and overwhelmingly ample evidence tells me that sooner or later you will need it.
You don’t need an “in” crowd to tell you that.
