In the past several1 months I have been without a regular partner. Perhaps you’ve noticed? Has it been obvious?
There were a few really lovely meetings with a friend at the bitter end of 2010 and the start of 2011 but those could hardly have been counted as regular and since then — since bleedin’ February — I’ve not gotten naked with anyone other than my own bad self. So long has it been that I fear my vagina may have given up hope and retracted the red carpet, and were I to examine matters closely down there I would find a surface smooth and unblemished as a Barbie doll’s.
I am not, to be clear, upset that my most recent companions weren’t able to make regular and ongoing appearances in my bedroom. These things happen. I don’t demand a lifelong contract before unhooking my bra, and the pleasure I got (and, I hope, gave) to those men was well worth it. Well worth it indeed.2
Nevertheless I’m getting restless, and the longer things go without success the louder the self-doubt murmurs. Am I so far over the hill as to be attractive to no one? Doesn’t anyone have use for a chick who’s got her shit together3 and a great big brain to boot? Do killer blowjob technique and a propensity for anal sex have no value anymore?
The danger is not, of course, that my vulva will fall off but is instead that I might eventually lose enough mojo that it would seem more logical to stay home and guard my heart instead of exposing it to any more weirdness, mayhem or pain. To stave off that horrifying eventuality I think it’s time to drop some of the almost unattainably high standards which have built up of late. Perhaps I shall take a slightly less rigorous stance in matters of grammar and spelling. I might agree to text with new love interests. I could think of considering members of the Christian crowd.
But never, ever a pro-lifer. I’ll gladly go Barbie-like before that.
where is that comic from?
Click the pic!
Or this link.
:)
wow I fail, I have read that comic.
No moping, AAG, you got at least 20 good horny years ahead of you (that I know of)
I can recommend letting go of the grammar and spelling. After years of internet dating, and painstakingly winnowing out purveyors of poor grammar and spelling, I met my boyfriend face to face through a mutual friend. He is incredibly clever and very funny. We started chatting on the internet about a week after we got together and his spelling can sometimes be quite poor – mainly I think because he’s a sloppy typist. Anyway, we’ve been together for 2 years now and it is good. I have often been quite freaked out by the idea that I might have missed out on him because his spelling isn’t that great.
On the other hand, he’s not a multiple explanation mark-er, he doesn’t use textspeak and he’s not a pro-lifer. These are things with which I could not be doing.
I’m not even going to tell you how evolutionary psychology would answer those questions…
Tangentially, six years, six years, six years…
No, I’d like to hear.
Interesting that you would never, ever consider a pro-lifer…Question: At any point in the various pregnancies of your “baby momma”, was abortion ever on the table?
Also, have you never met a pro-lifer with a rational, sane perspective on why they have that opinion and have likewise respected your pro-choice position? Or have they all been crazy?
Abortion was always on the table in my mind. I offered to take her to termination appointments with the pregnancy that turned into my son. I stand by that today.
However, abortion was really never on the table in *her* mind. She is now and always has been against abortion as she believes it kills an innocent baby.
I have every bit of respect for “pro-life” people who say “I would not terminate a pregnancy but I support your right to do with your body as you will *and* I will vote for candidates who also have this stance.”
‘Round these parts we call those people “pro-choice”.
It’s that pesky “choice” part that burdens us with that pro-choice handle…
I definitely know where you are coming from. However, until someone comes along I am going to enjoy being by myself. It surely does not make up for having a partner, but my vagina is not screaming for attention. I make sure of that.
I’ve decided that we all must go through dry spells as to appreciate the times when there is plenty. At least that is what I try to tell myself.
I enjoy being single and always ready to mingle…
Geek. :-)