After forty-one-and-a-half years of owning these genitals (and twenty-three years of knowing what they were for), you’d think that I’d have exhausted every possible way of making them feel good.
You would be wrong.
The images burned into my brain from a super-hot night left me so squirmy and unable to work that once my children left for school I ripped off all my clothes and dived back into bed. Having recently untangled the ridiculous snake-nest that had developed in the cords of my favorite solo-time companions, I tested out one, then another, before finally settling on the third as that day’s Toy of Choice.
In memory of the surprisingly deep pounding I’d taken the night before I brought my Daddy to bed with me, but the combination of last night’s fucking and this morning’s wanking made my muscles do exactly what they’re designed to do — which is to push out. No matter how much I arched my back and tried to hold Daddy under me my body wasn’t cooperating. The dildo turned into a missile; before it could knock anything off the bureau I sat up into a variation of a Pigeon, which held Daddy so tightly into me it could not slip away. With the Wahl wedged against my clit and Daddy neatly captured I ground and screamed myself into exhaustion. 1
I’m such a master at awkward that I’ve never felt comfortable with woman-on-top, but this new discovery inspires me. If I faced away from my partner and managed to tuck my bent leg between his legs, mightn’t it work for intercourse?
Expect updates as this story develops.
- Have you tried this? You really should try this, because it felt screamingly great, to the point that I’m glad the hot weather has followed us into September and prohibited the turning off of air conditioning and the opening of windows. Promise me you’ll try this. You’ll thank me later. [↩]
Screaming really does awesome things to orgasms. I just wish I had the privacy to do so again. Curse these thin dorm walls…
Yes we have enjoyed that position. It was in this position that I had my first ever g-spot orgasm. My husband was worried I was having a seizure. Since then he’s come to thoroughly enjoy the complete loss of control that washes over me. Wow. Just wow!
So did your legs get in the way?
A little. It took some maneuvering to alter the position enough to make it work for us, but it is essentially the same position. My left leg hooks under his left leg or under his left butt cheek, and my right leg stretches up along the right side of his body with my foot resting either on or under his shoulder. It gets even better if there is a piece of furniture nearby for you to use to push back down on him and meet his thrusts.
When we are engaging in particularly rough play he will grasp my arms and hold them behind me. When my hair was longer, he could also grab a fistful.
(As I read this back before posting, it reads like we’re small bendy people. We are both large, and we make it work for us. We both get intense enjoyment in this position.)
I was just going to ask about that. You read my mind. :)
I’m a full disclosure kinda gurl!
Also, I’ve been given positional advice from small bendy people and it’s usually a big disappointment when we can’t contort into the described position. Cirque du Soleil will never be beating down my door. :)
That’s a new one on me, too. Wouldn’t you be sacrificing some penetration in that position? Then again, with the cockhead closer to the G-spot maybe the result would be Kristie’s orgasm.
If you move a few inches one way or another you sacrifice some penetration, but that’s easy enough to fix. For fantastically deep penetration, I lean forward and scooch back on him. You are correct about the positioning of the cockhead and G-spot!
Damn you have me hot!
Speaking of new discoveries,just wait till your kids find your blog. Then they will discover what a slut their mom really is. Also your parents say they have never read your blog, but that is complete bullshit, you know they have. They know everytime a fist has been in your cunt and every cock you have sucked. Every word you have ever written here is here forever. Your kids will find and know, how’s that for a new discovery?
Thanks for being so awesome, Meg!
Whoa. Why the hell does it matter so much what AAG does with her life? It always amuses me when people are this hateful regarding someone else’s life that clearly has no effect on their own.
I’d rather my kids find out that I love sex than that I leave mean-spirited, anonymous comments on the internet!
Absolutely AAG and Meg? ::P You’re just jealous that you haven’t got the gumption or maybe the stories to tell?
But seriously:
AAG, you’ve been informative, honest, truthful with yourself and us (your readers who read you because they have an interest, a curiosity, a need if you will to understand sex and what it does to us inside and out) and I want to take this opportunity to thank you for that. I ask myself the same questions you do. I have conversations with friends that are much like the comments here (present instance excepted of course) and I appreciate you for making me think.
So Meg? you served a purpose today. You reminded ME of my manners, may I return the favour?
Bree
Trying to slut-shame someone who isn’t ashamed of her sexuality is a pretty pointless endeavor. Maybe you should try to find a more rewarding hobby. Do you have a neighbor whose lawn is a centimeter longer than it’s supposed to be? You could go bug them.
Is that it? Am I supposed to be ashamed of sucking cock or fisting?
Really??????
Meg thinks you should be, it seems.
I’m with you, Elodie! I’d idiot-shame Meg except (s)he’s obviously not ashamed to be an idiot, so I won’t waste my time.
Instead, I’ll encourage everyone to get in touch with their sexuality. Don’t be afraid – parents are sexy, too!
You are one of the sexiest parents I know. *smooch*
Personally I’d be SO PROUD of my mother if I found her blog like this. Shocked, yes, but happily so.
Who wouldn’t be proud of their mothers being a goddess? :D
Aw, thank you Felix.
I’m a pretty tolerant person, but Meg, you really pissed me off.
I’ll risk my Karma and say I hope you get some really painful hemorrhoids, Meg. You really deserve them.
Maybe it’s just the beer, but I totally, totall want to ass-fuck Meg.
It’s just the beer.
I dunno. The glory that is the hate-fuck can’t be over-started. B^)
I’d like a hate-fuck with someone I love. Is that possible? :)
I hope it’s just the beer. I don’t have a penis, but if I did, I sure wouldn’t waste it on her.
Say what you will, I”ll keep speaking the truth. See over the past month I’ve learned that AAG loves to be the martyr. Poor me, my ex doesn’t help enough with the kids, some sex toy website cheated me out of money, on and on. Just feel sorry for me please. The only reason you are going to therapy with your parents is so someone else will listen to your whining. The last thing you want to do is reconcile.
Here’s a newsflash for you, your friend N, is a whore. She will keep spitting out little bastards, because she refuses to use birth control. We both know this. On the bright side you’ll get to step in again, be the martyr, and raise this one too.
Wow. It’s a good thing there are courageous people like you in the world, “Meg”, to tell such super-powerful and scary people like aag what you think they “really” are. I mean, what would happen if more women like aag started thinking they were worthwhile? That they could enjoy life and even sex on their own terms? Horrifying!
By the way, your writing style is awfully familiar, “Meg”. Did you learn it in Trolling 101?
Wow, harsh. I hope this makes you feel good about yourself, Meg.
Do you look in the mirror and say, “Yes, today I have achieved my goal of being a worthwhile person by calling strangers names on the internet!”?
“Here’s a newsflash for you, your friend N, is a whore.”
Yeah, if there’s one thing I’ve gotten from this blog, it’s a clear sense of approval for N’s lifestyle and a belief that AAG considers her a role model.
*eyeroll*
I find it endlessly interesting when anonymous blog-commenters spill forth venom. But, this post isn’t about ol’ Meg, is it? It’s about a “New Discovery” that AAG felt like she needed to share, and then we learned some more shit about how to achieve it with the real thing (something I was clueless about).
So, I say, FUCK MEG, and THANKS, AAG! I look forward to the day I get to try out the leg-tuck maneuver myself.
Peace out-
Holmes
For some folks, everything is about them.
Have fun with the LTM, Holmes!
Well now I expect it’s bad form to post twice, but I also need to say something about the whole ‘wait till your kids find out’ thing.
I am an adult, I make my choices about who I am and what I do all on my own. I don’t parent my children the *right* way because some anonymous jury is sitting in judgement of me. A self appointed one at that. I parent the way I do, because I am who I am and who I like to be.
I have a vantage point of having raised children and am now doing so again. No, not mychildren’s children but my own, from a second relationship started much later in life after the end of the first.
Yes, there a few decisions I would change, looking back. Things like standing up to an abusive spouse long before I did, for instance but not things like being honest and open with my children about sex and life and my opinions thereof. Those I would not change, as I look at my two daughters with their lovely children and their healthy lives.
Are there things that my adult children have discovered about me that caused them some shock and maybe even a ‘whoa, Mom!!!’ moment or two, or ten? Hell yes there are. Just as there are conversations where I *jokingly* say, hey now, I’m your mom I don’t want to know those things about you. But see, here’s the rub. I do, I do want to know that they are having healthy sex lifes unassuaged by guilt and hangups and all the rest of the bullpucky that society visits upon women.
I think, Meg, that you are missing the point of this and many other blogs. AAG isn’t posting this stuff so people will tell her who she is and who she needs to be. She’s already aware of that and quite content in it too, I’ll venture. I’ll also venture that she’s in therapy with her parents more for their sake, than her own. She is who she is, and frankly her parents should be proud to have raised a woman who can step up. Who can be honest and frank and sometimes even self deprecating to make a point.
Your remarks about her being a martyr? Well, takes one to know one, or rather to visit your own unfulfilled dreams and regrets upon someone else. I’m back to the you’re just jealous feel here. I think that you’ve hid your own dreams, your own wishes and desires in an effort to be a *good* woman/wife/daughter/mom and you’re jealous of someone isn’t hiding.
AAG I may well be totally wrong in my assumptions about your therapy with your parents, but regardless of that, it’s something else I applaud you for sharing and hope that they find their way to love you as you are, because there’s really no other way for you to be, and they are the ones missing out on that, which is sad.
Bree
WOW – I have a silly question? Why does Meg read this blog? She so obviously finds it repugnant…I say only this Meg “judge not “
No Kidding! Meg- why do you even read this?! You must have a really dull life to judge others and start spewing “slut – hate”. Or you are damaged and such comments make you feel better about yourself and allow you the illusion that you are perfection personified and far above such “dirty” things. Go elsewhere, Meg.
The “Meg” types should spend more time at the mirror gazing into their own eyes…. if that’s possible. I shall never understand this behaviour. It’s simply… infantile. She must have had a really bad day. I always just want to hug such a person so hard they don’t have enough breath to speak the venom… But maybe just enough to cry out for what they need in their lives.
I have always tried to be as honest as can be with my two and they’ve turned out into pretty cool adults. Smart and measured and kind – among many other attributes and qualities.
Keep doing what you do AAG. (Not that you won’t.) I’ve read long time and will read long time.
XS
First: holy shit I have to try that position. Omg.
Second: I an laughing my ass off at the thought of you as a martyr. Srsly. Some people need to stop projecting all over other folks.
What an amusing little uptight woman. I feel sorry for her. If she feels the need to go cruising the internet to be snotty to other people, she must have a very empty life.
AAG… love you as always…