I have a knack — some might call it a curse — for getting people to tell me more than they’re altogether comfortable sharing. With the same reasoning that once lead physicians to bleed their patients, I operated on the notion that purging does much good. Now I know the error of my ways; I’ve toned down this ability considerably over the past several years to the point that my victims rarely if ever complain.1
Vestiges of the curse remain. Just recently I met a man who, at my age, had enjoyed the pleasure of but a single intimate relationship in his entire life. And it lasted less than a year. And it was twenty years ago. My that’s unusual, I thought, but was immediately carried away by the next part of his tale, which covered the time he spent exploring life on my favorite pervy dating site and at a local swinger’s club.
Orly, I said. That sounds intriguing. Tell me more.2
As he spoke I realized that we were mutually acquainted with a number of people. As humans tend to do, we discussed them. He’s lead a less sheltered life than I first assumed, I thought as I contributed suitably anonymized accounts of my own naked cavorting. We might actually have some things in common.
We spoke briefly over the course of a few days; then came a string of days when he messaged me after 11 pm, an hour that almost invariably finds me curled naked in bed with a book. Hearing no response he assumed the worst; he shot off a message at midnight that I found in my inbox the next morning. “I think I must have terrified you with my stories!” he wrote.
Terrified me? Not at all! I responded. What do you think would have terrified me?
“All the talk of sex and sleeping with people must have been very off-putting to you!” read his next email, and despite assurance that nothing could be further from the truth, I never heard from him again.
So now I’m left wondering: Are my overeager questioning skills not quiet as subdued as I’d like to believe? Or did he misread my character so much as to think that I was horrified by activities?
I’m inclined to say that if that’s how he reacts to a wonderful woman that he’s met who didn’t respond to his email fast enough and then doesn’t believe her, I think you cracked the code to the mystery of his 20 years of singleness.
I agree with Monica, this man has issues that is keeping him single. I would question those who mutual aquaintances and see what their feedback on him is.
Maybe hearing his own exploits spoken out loud freaked HIM out a little.
I would maybe try to see him face to face somewhere that you’re both comfortable. Maybe among mutual acquaintances? Maybe he’s just self conscious. :)
That is just funny. I’m sorry. I had one of those head shaking while chortling moments. In your shoes, I’d have been like: “Dam, what’d I do? Message me back! What happened? Did I offend you? Please, come back and say something!” But outside that situation I can’t do more than chuckle, and whole heartedly agree with you. By the way…is this purely online…like the people you know that he knows and vice versa are all on line, or is this someone that real life could bump you into? You did mention your fav. pervy dating site. OIH! single for 20 years, that’s just…that’s monastic (not judgin or anything, just sayin.)