To our pleasant surprise, however, there is absolutely nothing skeevy about Siege and Katie. They’re smart, funny, polite, hip, attractive, self-deprecating, and affectionate with one another. And that’s the most disconcerting thing of all. Call us snobs, but it’s easy to dismiss suburban swingers who show up at orgies with a Tupperware container or Bay Area hippies missing the irony gene. But when a couple like Siege and Katie decry strict monogamy? It makes you wonder, How old-fashioned, socially programmed, and ass-backward am I?
I hate to be the one to tell this to Em and Lo, but if they can only appreciate non-monogamy when it’s practiced by people they deem to be hip and attractive, then they are pretty damn old-fashioned, socially programmed and ass-backward indeed.
And as one who has gone to many events for non-monogamous folks bearing full Tupperware tubs, I’ve got to wonder what kind of manners these ladies were taught by their parents. Didn’t they learn never to show up empty-handed? What’s wrong with coming prepared, with being neighborly, with keeping up one’s strength?
What is wrong with you, Em and Lo, and what is wrong with Tupperware?
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Read the rest of Em and Lo’s piece on non-monogamy here1, then read a brilliant response by Mistress Matisse here.
- Huh, I just realized that this post is five years old. I hope Em and Lo have developed more enlightened views by now [↩]
I like tupperware. I think this gets down to, among other things, wanting to find people who you think look like/think like/dress like you, especially if the situation is new/scary/different. So if you are exploring open relationships and you are a young arty hipster and the only folks you come across are in a different age range with different types of clothes and cars (minivans don’t code sexy), then you make an assumption that swingers are “not cool” =not like you.
Thing is though, the community of people willing to be out and open is pretty small. Pretty motley. Pretty varied. Same with kink. So really, you just kind of have to buck up and deal with people different than yourself.
And tupperware is useful for all kinds of things.
Wait, minivans aren’t sexy?
Are you sure about this?????
I have a friend who drives an Odyssey. She calls it the Odyssexey and made it a facebook fan page. When she waits in the carpool line she rocks out to rage rap and knits.
A man friend of man drives a mini-van (he has 2 kids). I call it the Pussy Wagon.
I love my Odyssexey!
One thing I’ve learned, never bring cocktail weenies rolled in phyllo and served on a toothpick to swingers parties. Someone ALWAYS sits on a toothpick.
But really, how exactly is this monogamy? It is more poly-amorous and “dressed up as” just to disguise the flavor or idea that they must be doing something bad for their psyche. It is natural for both sexes to have a wandering eye, but it takes character to appreciate the view and ignore the sweetmeats behind shop windows. But that would be ‘real’ monogamy.
As a poly-amorous person, this seems to smack of hypocritical, merely making all of us look bad, not just one group. Hmm, much to ponder.
From what I see, most of the couple’s aren’t poly – some talk about how they fantasize about other people together, which is nice, and a sexy way to spice things up and all. But the only close to poly couple is the last one they mention, with the one-penis rule.
You mean there are people who get together to have sex and DON’T BRING FOOD? (And booze?) O.o My favorite orgies are where someone bakes cookies. At the last BDSM party I went to, someone brought chocolate cupcakes they’d made, and the age range of the guests went from 20s to 50s.
Always come carrying gifts! But I’m just like that.
Ok, first of all, I have a fucking crazy obsession with tupperware. Maybe it was all the parties my mom had when I was a kid, but HOLY FUCK I WANT THE MODULAR CABINET SYSTEM and I need a new set of those Flour/Sugar/whatever canisters. And a cake carrier. and some glasses…and some other stuff.
Second of all, its just nice to show up to a party with food. When I went to orgies, I got in the habit of bringing bagels (they’re easy to eat naked).
Third of all, Em and Lo are fucking cunts. I haven’t agreed with Mistress Maitisse on much, but damn she nailed it here “Um, yeah, since you asked – you’re snobs, ladies, and you are indeed pretty ass-backwards. The one-line disclaimer you tagged on at the end about how, oh, okay, you’ve learned your lesson and you won’t make fun of those crazy swingers anymore? I’m unimpressed. You are not qualified to write knowledgeably about a minority sexual community, because your outlook is provincial, your research is shallow, and you don’t even try to hide, let alone really examine, your bias. Stick to tips on blowjobs and pubic hairstyles, that’s about your speed.”
Also, the one penis policy? Yeah, not so much. Doesn’t work for everyone. For example, me? Not really interested in putting my face in vagina. (My fist, yes. Face, not so much). Nor in dating girls. My boy on the other hand? Bisexual, yay for us!
I tend to not like Em and Lo much. I find them way too heteronormative and, oftentimes, kind of judgmental.
Tupperware? Tip her where? So 70s.
Get with the times, it’s all about safe-sex and kink nowadays, invite some rubber maids!
Wait, I meant, “invest in some Rubbermaid”.