Below please find the text of a dating site profile reproduced faithfully except for the fact that I’ve changed the name of the town. What do you make of it?
First of all I’m not interested in [town of 125,000-plus located somewhat near me] natives, if you are originally from [town] this ad is not for you. If you are a transplant or a woman who is somewhere besides [town] read on. I’m not into current popular culture and find that people who watch a lot of TV (especially reality) and who listen to a lot of current mainstream popular music tend to have shaky, shallow, overly materialistic values and a complete lack of intellect. I’d like to meet women who are not into current garbage mainstream culture but who instead read interesting books, listen to interesting (non-mainstream) music, and who are mostly into films that are NOT the typical dumbed-down Hollywood blockbusters. And especially, if you’re the sort of woman who watches stuff like the Bachelor and the Bachelorette and actually think those shows have anything to do with “reality”, I don’t want to talk to you or know you, not now, not ever. I’m not the average or typical [town] guy and this is to be expected as I have spent the vast majority of my adult life in much bigger cities where mainstream garbage culture is largely rejected and people are into a much wider variety of life activities besides the heavy drinking, stupid TV viewing, and irresponsible, unplanned procreation that tend to dominate the lives of [town]-ites. If your life is defined by money and possessions, stop reading this ad now and go on to the next one. If you have a history of abusive relationships, stop reading this ad now….women who fall in love with abusers do not appreciate men who are non-abusers and I simply have no time for their self-victimizing nonsense. To be honest, the very very vast majority of you are not nearly intelligent enough to hang around with me. I can tell that from the many grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes in your ads as well as the obvious huge mistakes you’ve made in your lives that are evident from your ads. I’m definitely looking for a female friend who is the exact opposite of the typical [town] woman…..that is someone who is educated, articulate, intelligent, not trashy/fat/masculine looking, not brainwashed by TV and the mainstream media, not obsessed with men with motorcycles and goofy facial hair. I’m looking for someone with half a brain who appreciates someone else with half a brain. Do I think I’ll find that in [town] or on this website? Not really but maybe you should try to surprise me if you really think you have what it takes for me to not view you as just another local bumpkin. Oh, and if you’re a woman looking for a john or a weakminded pack mule to do all your difficult physical chores for you, you’re going to have to look elsewhere to find that sucker.
Do you think I should write to point out the comma splice in the very first sentence?
Not only does he hate women, he hates where he lives! That guy is bound to be lots of fun.
A jerk who thinks he’s a prize. Amusing and common, but the really interesting part is his virulent hatred of [town]. Now I want to know what the town is. I figure if this guy hates it, it can’t be too bad!
I’ll Twitter it to you. :)
Asperger’s? Or dude’s just a 8==D
Oh I want to know that town too, so that I can avoid it!
He says he has half a brain. I’ll take him at his word.
this guy is a douche…..oh wait….Douche! So much so that it needs capitalized. I really want to know the town, too!! So curious! I agree, it might be a good place since he hates it so much! LOL
or maybe he’s an Ass Hat (is that one word or two? I’m sure he’d know) Maybe he needs it IN the ass to loosen up a bit! hee hee
Do you think there’s any chance he’s just kidding?
It’s weird enough that he just might be kidding…..but then it’s weird enough that he might NOT be! LOL
Poe’s law…
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Poe's_Law
I kept expecting to see a demand for an “exotic” woman too. Wow. Poor guy this makes me kind of sad.
Me too. He sounds like a very unhappy person.
I wouldn’t fuck him with somebody else’s vagina.
Am I the only one that wonders if he’s the type that wouldn’t know how to talk to a quirky, smart woman if he actually got a date with one?
“To be honest, the very very vast majority of you are not nearly intelligent enough to hang around with me.”
The necessary comma in the first sentence belongs here, between the two verys. Perhaps it got lost looking whilst looking for a reason any woman would respond to this ad.
OK, let’s try “unnecessary comma.”
Gah. Clearly I need to wait until I’m finished reading blogs to start drinking. Let me try this comment again:
The unnecessary comma in the first sentence belongs here, between the verys. Perhaps it got lost whilst looking for a reason any intelligent woman would respond to this ad.
Like!
Le sigh. I’ve seen far too much douchebaggery such as this in profiles, especially on your favorite pervy dating site.
Seems like he knows what he doesn’t want…but does he know what he *does* want? I mean rilly…if this douchehound spends so much time moaning about the bad stuff about women and [town] and culture and who-knows-what-else, then will he ever bother to take the time to think about the good stuff? But I’ve always been a glass-half-full kinda person myself. Him? Not so much.
And I second JennaMarie’s comment. He wouldn’t know what to do if someone fantastic landed in his lap, let alone was desperate enough to reply to this drivel.
Wow! I have to wonder if this profile ever got a single response. As a guy trying to find online companionship, I know that the odds are very much against any guy getting hit on by any woman (compared to the women who seem to get barraged with unwanted overtures). How this tirade will ever attract anyone is beyond me.
I’m curious if any of your readers would even consider writing to him.
I second the designation of Ass Hat for this one. Seriously, where does he get the idea that being a stuck up jerk is a good way to get smart, wonderful ladies? And the victim-blaming he’s dishing out to domestic violence survivors is awful.
I think that perhaps you should point out that comma splice. Just to take some of the wind out of this guys sails.
“guy’s sails”
I, like Finn, need to comment before drinking instead of the other way around! :P
I did. I shouldn’t have, but I did.
did he respond back??? hehe Good for you!
Well on the upside…he spared us the normal drivel of “I like moonlight walks on the beach, candlelit meals and Yanni.”
On the other hand I believe he’s having difficulty coming to terms with being gay. He’s an outcast is and apparently is trying to convince himself why women are bad.
My 2 cents from [town].
pj
People still listen to Yanni?
Wow! I thought I was a magnet for crazy.
I recommend you write him back and tell him that much to your everlasting disappointment you are not worthy of him as you watch Hoarders (one of those evil reality shows) each week with your online sex blogger friends.
Oh snap. :P
Turd. It’s funny that there’s such a wide variety of assholishness. But yeah, the “I’m too good for you–try to disprove me if you can” approach is really not amusing. Avoid.
To be fair, asshats come in all flavors. You will also see women ranting for pages about what types of men they don’t want to date.
AND IN ALL CAPS TOO!
Indeed, but as a woman looking for men, I don’t see those messages.
Maybe I should start looking for those messages. :)
While amusing, I highly recommend old school unix shell IRCing as opposed to websites for meeting people. Yeah, you’ll find a lot of geeks, but at least they’ve got the intelligence to learn. And who knows, maybe you’ll meet the proverbial dark and handsome stranger from an exotic land. And fuck him and live happily ever after ;)
I try to read (ie. pretend) misogyny and elitism as repressed homosexuality. He’s just awkwardly expressing his desire for cock! If only…
Hmm. I have a somewhat different take; I don’t think he’s necessarily a straight-up douchebag, or any more misogynist than any other man on a dating site. I DO think he’s been on some very bad dates.
What he really needs is a lesson in visualizing and stating what he DOES want, rather than what he doesn’t. Accentuate the positive, dude!!! Describe the qualities you admire about women who are opposite of the women you’ve tagged as the typical [town] woman. Describe those qualities, and how awesome you think they are, and why…if indeed the typical women of [town] is as you’ve portrayed them, then your dream woman sitting there in [town] is probably feeling pretty alienated and lonely, herself. What can you do to catch her attention? And why the eff would she want to go out with you?
Dude needs to state in his ad why *he* would be an awesome date for his ideal dream woman. Because again, if typical [town] woman is as he’s described her, then I can only imagine what typical [town] dudes are like. If he’s really that different, he needs to make a case for why a non-typical [town] woman would be interested in him, because it’s likely she’s had bad experiences, too. Again, state the positive, not the negative.
As to if you should correct his punctuation, AAG: only if you feel like engaging him. Dude states he wants a non-mainstream woman, but I highly doubt with his caustic comment about no one being smarter than him that he could actually handle a woman smarter than him. You *are* smarter than him, so if you feel like showing that to him for shits and giggles, go for it!!
I do feel bad for him, as he’s clearly been burned and has not learned from it.
The town is Springfield because he’s Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons.
I think I served this guy a couple of weeks ago at work. Or at least, someone very like him. He started telling me that anyone who watched TV couldn’t read. Hmmm… looks like I’m defying the norm then because sometimes I do both at once!! He also had an issue with anyone using a debit card for less than £50. Weird.
Can’t say I really blame him for not wanting a someone from a particular town. I grew up in small town rural America. That gene pool can go shy of a few common sense owners, or they could be your third cousin twice removed on your brother’s wife’s side. I could so hate on this guy, but he really sounds bitter enough. Sad to say–I kinda imagine every woman who would qualify for that add passed it right over. I can’t believe you made me read that agg. I could’ve stopped at the first line.
I kind of understand his point. Maybe deep inside I agree with him. But he needs to learn how to express himself better because he sounds way too snotty and really arrogant. And I really don’t like that.
But yes, I would consider the idea of writing to him. In fact, I’m curious about him – where have you found his profile, aag?
Last but no least, I’m sorry if this comment has some spelling mistakes or other mistakes, but English isn’t my native language :’)
He’s from OkCupid, and I on this blog I only judge my own spelling mistakes. :)
He sounds like a hipster. My college is filled with them, the types that disdain anything ‘mainstream’- which has a variety of meanings depending on who you ask. He also has a really overblown sense of what cities are actually like which makes me think he hasn’t actually lived in many or any really. I spend alot of time in New York City, and let me tell you- it’s a pop culture Mecca. Of course, you can find offbeat music, film, art, etc. but that doesn’t make it a bohemian-chic Jack Kerouac-esque center for pretentiousness.
If you have a history of abusive relationships, stop reading this ad now….women who fall in love with abusers do not appreciate men who are non-abusers and I simply have no time for their self-victimizing nonsense.
FAIL.
Now see, my reaction was completely different, I’d want to make contact, and get to know enough details to be able to avoid this person in any alternate venue or guise!