After seeing me wax poetic on Twitter about fisting, a reader wrote in with a question:
My boyfriend wants to fist me. I’m down…but what can I do to physically and mentally prepare myself for this? It’s rather painful, right? How can we make this a more pleasant experience?
Two insidious suppositions haunt any discussion of fisting. First, that it will stretch out the vagina to cavern-like dimensions; and second, that it will hurt. Neither is true.
Learning to accept a fist will make you better at relaxing your pelvic muscles quickly and completely, just as a gymnast who practices stretching will be able to perform the splits more easily than someone who seldom stretches. Is the gymnast weak because she can assume such bendy positions? Are her muscles under-developed or destroyed? Not hardly! All that practice, control and effort strengthen rather than break down the muscles.
Remove the fist and the vagina does not hang open like the lips of a mouth-breather. It snaps back. Really. Maybe I should post some before and after photos some day?
Is fisting painful? Any sex can hurt if you do it too quickly or without adequate preparation. Try to jam in a hand without lube or warm-up and you’ll send your partner right through the roof, and possibly to the emergency room. While I can’t speak for every person who’s ever attempted this act I can tell you from my own experience that the first few times left me with an ache in my pubic bone, an ache which was not the least bit unpleasant because it reminded me of how much that partner had affected me.
He’d affected me so much that he moved my bones. I can’t think of this as anything but a good thing.
I’ve occasionally felt too much pressure on my cervix from fisting; this when my partner pushed too far in. This discomfort is no different than what I’ve experienced with too-deep doggie-style intercourse and is remedied with a quick “Not so deep, please.” Other than that, I’ve experienced no pain from fisting.
Want to fist successfully? Fister and fistee should be enthusiastic about the experiment (sounds like you’ve got this one covered, reader). Peruse So You Think You Want to Fist, Part One and So You Think You Want to Fist, Part Two. Go slowly, talk to each other throughout, and use twice as much lube as you think you need.
Then report back to the class about how your experiment went, ok?
Fisting can hurt all right. After a long session, my carpal tunnel can be murder if I’m at the wrong angle. Not to mention, hand cramps can be really disrupting! B^)
Hee! I lurve you.
I once spent the night before a written essay final fisting a girl with PC muscles of DOOM. My hand was practically crippled, and I still had to write the essay. I wanted to ask for extra time, but “I need an extra hour because I was fisting” generally doesn’t fly in college.
Hee!
I feel your pain. :)
It gets better – as a massage therapist, I do my damnedest to be careful of how I use my hands. I just realized upon doing a particular test for a tenosynovitis, that the occasional twinges of pain I’d been having were probably that – and fisting is one of my exacerbating activities!
Of course, now I know that ulnar/radial deviation of my hand is something to avoid, both in life, massage, and fisting. I’ll add that to my class!
Fisting is fun. And it doesn’t hurt. I think people forget we are stretchy – and it all goes back. Gotta love the human body.
Unsurprisingly, these are the *same* questions people ask about anal fisting as well. Its always assumed that its *so* painful. I feel bad, because this makes me think they’ve had other painful experiences that a little lube and some understanding could have avoided.
Ha, yeah. I’ve often been puzzled at that reaction when I’ve suggested anal to otherwise-kinky boys and wondered where they got this idea when they’re still anal virgins. Even when I tell them I’ll be starting with rimming and a pinky finger instead of jamming my big fake dick in there, they are not reassured. XD This is why I thank heaven for dudes who like assplay and play with their ass regularly!
I also remember thinking that my first *vaginal* intercourse would be agonizing, but that didn’t stop me. o.O
Fisting is on the same continuum as finger-fucking. The fister should keep inserting fingers as long as it feels good to the fistee. Maybe she wants to stop at two or three, but most women are amazingly flexible. My record is one entire hand and three fingers of the other.
Did someone say before and after fisting photos? That needs to happen. Let me know when it does. Heck I’LL do it! And give you credit, of course. :) I’ve only been fisted twice, took pics both times during, should do a series before-during-after for #3!
YES! You should! :)