So my brilliant friend Kelly paints things, and by “things” I don’t mean dining room walls and the odd bathroom, which are the only things your humble narrator is capable of painting.
(Well. I once painted a giraffe which turned out to be a zebra. And for all I know Kelly paints walls too. Or maybe giraffes. But I digress.)
What I’m certain Kelly paints are brilliant watercolor portraits, so brilliant that one of them caught the eye of esteemed film critic Roger Ebert, prompting him to Tweet about Kelly’s amazing-ness and thereby send an obscene number of new readers to her site. In thanks, she painted a scene especially for and featuring him.
This is how the world should work: Each of us pushing our friends up their own little ladders, receiving reciprocal shoves and then lavishing on the thanks. Why the world doesn’t work like this more often I do not know.
So now Kelly is moving on to her next work, which will feature a young friend sitting at his desk surrounded by the detritus of his work-a-day duties. A reference picture was posed and photographed not long ago; after further scrutiny it was thought to lack just a little something on the unadorned wall behind the subject’s head.
“I know,” thought Kelly. “I should add his framed professional license to the image!” But the license lived on another wall; after a quick shuffle and some Photoshop manipulation, the end result will be clipped to her easel as she happily works away with pigments suspended in water.
This reference image she posted on Facebook, and it took me a minute to figure out what was wrong with it:
Whose HAND is this, and from what great beyond does it reach to bestow professional licenses? As is the case with many a trans-worldly gift, does this one come with strings? Will our young friend someday be asked to look the other way while THE HAND commits its fouls deeds? And if he does not, what fierce retribution will be done? Will he be whisked away to the land of THE HAND, where untold horrors await?
Is it time to up my meds or should I simply sit back and enjoy the stories my head spins all day long?
Enjoy the stories. It’s the little things that make life worth living. :)
Spun another way, you are allowing your creative juices to flow along with other, less figurative juices. :) :)
Also, is it odd that the first thing that ran through my head when i read the subject of your post was “With voyeuristic intention”? Followed by, “i wonder if this post is about Rocky Horror?” Ah well, lol.
Thank you!!
And I loved chatting about this whole HAND idea of yours. And that reminds me of the collage work of Winston Smith, who sometimes uses giant hands in the sky to symbolize God:
http://www.winstonsmith.com/shop/big/hidden.html
He’s so funny and has truly great titles, such as “What a Friend We Have in Cheeses.” I used to have one of his books in my classroom years ago, but I’m pretty sure a kid stole it.
Cheers to Kelly! She really has an amazing level of detail for watercolors; I’ve tried my hand at them as well as they ain’t easy. This is amazing and wonderful and shows one of the coolest (in my opinion) things about the Internet.
OMG!! I love the stories your brain spins please do not stop.
And I also went to Rocky Horror references when I saw this title.
Be not afraid. THE HAND is benign and brings good tidings, along with professional certification. It requires only the sacrifice of the occasional sock from the dryer and the receipt for that thing you were going to return to the store…
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
I thought everyone had a hand like that. I’m lookin around, I just saw Hand around the house this morning tuckin the socks under the dryer, and apparently likes to comb the cats and leave gobs of cat hair on my sofa as the day goes along. If i had a certificate like that, I bet I could bribe Hand with moisturizer to hold mine, especially since apparently he’s not washing my dishes just like the rest of the family. I just assume its for his/her/it’s nail health. I just thought of another fistful use for said hand. An extra hand, I mean if you had one, I’m just sayin, you don’t need medication for that, just give the hand the vibrator and well then you could still get your chores done.
Yes!