Comments on: “Almost” Assault

By: marjorie

marjorie — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:55:31 +0000

“Just for a minute..”??? What is he FIVE?? Although I have bareback FANTASIES that doesn’t make it even REMOTELY ok for someone to wheedle about potentially marriage ending, or of course LIFE ENDING risks with a sexually transmitted disease. WTF with the actuary-ish comment above about how one commenter views acceptable risk…asshat…not a problem with women who claim to usually use condoms…

The very fact that this guy was wheedling tells you he has stuck it in unprotected in EVERY woman that ever let him..but oh no, his DOMM_IE_NESS keeps microbes at bay..

I figure my highly promiscuous premarital life was just DUMB luck that a dose of chlamydia was all I ever got…makes me want to give up my new found so called freedom for the secure womb of my previous 19 years of fidelity.

God bless my nerdy virginal husband.

By: Househo

Househo — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 16:22:23 +0000

This posting struck a nerve with me so deeply that I was almost physically sick.
I had a similar experience. He said he had condoms, I had some in my purse for just in case. But when it came to the deal he didn’t have one on. He came at me so quickly, stripping me to nothing and being very rough. Foreplay was all teeth and pain, which did not have the desired affect on me. When he pinned me and entered me, my mind was on the pain aspect and not the enjoyment. I then realized he did not have one on. I asked if he had one on and he said yes but I knew he didn’t. He continued to violate me as I tried to get away from him and stop him. Sadly I didn’t push for the condom, just to get him to stop so I could bolt.
So, in my mind he lied and said whatever was needed to get me naked. In his he heard rough her up and she’s a stupid cunt for not squirting for him on command. He could not understand why I would not want to see him ever again.
In my lifestyle, society would deem me a whore and I deserved it. He just added more rules and regulations to my list of demands from men. Sadly its a killjoy for all.

By: Kaye T.

Kaye T. — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 00:58:22 +0000

You are so right. I, too, had an encounter back in college. I was going on a lunch date with this guy who I barely knew. I went to pick him up at his apartment and was waiting for him to get ready. When he appeared from his room to get me from the couch, he just jumped on top of me, as if he was going to start making out with me, or more. I was afraid more than anyone could imagine. Turns out nothing happened but I never saw him again. I thought it was presumptuous and a “test” for something later.

I felt guilty for what happened to me. I felt like maybe I had caused it but the truth is, as you said, me feeling guilty is me giving into victim blaming. Tre’ uncool! I’m sorry you had that experience.

Check out my blog if you get a chance. If you like it, become a fan of mine. Love your blog.

By: aag

aag — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 13:05:52 +0000

Thanks John. I really appreciate the comment. I miss taking pictures of flowers too. And my old wank-couch! Hard to believe it’s been almost five years.

By: John Seubert

John Seubert — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:27:22 +0000

I’ve been following your blog for years, and remember the original post of this assault.

Heck, I remember your original couch and the sadness of having to replace it. (And that time you tried to create an audio upload from the activities thereon). And all of the home handy-woman stories. And your dabbling with HNT.

“I guess they never learned about porn?”

What brought me to your site in the first place was all of the “porn.” Each and every post was topped by a picture of a beautiful flower. Photos of floral genetalia? They set the mood and the tone. I miss them.

(Yes, I know you have a gallery, but it seems very static. I enjoyed having the “porn” doled out one image a day, each and every day.)

But I am greatly enjoying the rollercoaster of your life. You write so well, and your opinions dovetail nicely with my own. I find the stories of the children endearing, and your search for love intriguing.

Keep up to good work!

(Yours is the ONLY blog I follow continuously. I poke around at others, and look at the ones in your blogroll, and visit Shay quite a bit, but YOU I follow everyday. You’re doing something right.)

By: Ligeia

Ligeia — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 04:10:45 +0000

abuse of your person or violating your boundaries by negating your consent is enough…just because you stop being a real person, some tries to take away that you are a person, independent and entitled to your autonomy. By viewing your body as a commodity they take away your right to a collaborative exchange and you become a hole.

It’s not okay. And it only takes once to impact you deeply and sometimes…for decades to follow.

By: Ligeia

Ligeia — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 04:06:36 +0000

At 16 the whole world we know is about being in the middle of rape culture and once that virgin status is gone whore hits the neon signs. He felt entitled to do with your body at his as he would. Your friend no doubt being subjected to the same terms in her reality projected what she was feeling on to you.

It’s a crappy way of doing things.

I’m glad you got out. Most girls marry that guy.

By: Ligeia

Ligeia — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 03:42:57 +0000

There is a book called Yes Means Yes, really exceptional read, relating to the subject matter of Rape Culture.

That said, I’m glad you got out okay. And I am profoundly glad you wrote about it.

By: Molly Ren

Molly Ren — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 14:31:50 +0000

Yeah, I lost faith in the whole “but I can’t feel anything with a condom on!” argument after I gave several dudes blowjobs through a condom. They were *very* happy and came awfully fast for guys who couldn’t feel anything! ;)

By: simon

simon — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 04:17:12 +0000

…and if you were my sister, I’d stop punching him in the face. Eventually.