***Trigger warning: Below you’ll find a description of an “almost” sexual assault.–aag***
I met him in a large, busy bookstore for browsing and conversation; this after a week or two of emailing and IMing. We got on well enough that we set a date for something more private. In the several days interim we discussed various minutiae of the upcoming encounter. “I use condoms every single time,” I told him. “Are you ok with this?”
He was.
“Shall I bring my own, or will you have some?” I asked this with the full intention of coming prepared no matter what he answered. He had his own, he said, and we moved on to other specifics of likes, dislikes and boundaries.
On the day we met I was bleeding, and uncomfortable with sharing that aspect of sex with a brand-new partner, we stayed on the couch and did, as the kids say, “everything but.” Panties on or no, it was enjoyable. I liked that he gave me the degree of roughness and domination we’d previously discussed. It worked well enough that we breathlessly scheduled another meeting the next week.
When the time arrived we drove in his car from the bookstore to his house. Not two minutes after pulling into the driveway we were naked and in his bed. He pounced even harder than the first time. I adore rough handling so of course I loved it. I loved the pushing and pulling and tumbling and ruthlessness until suddenly he was on top of me and his naked penis was between my labia.
I wiggled upwards. “Get a condom if you want to fuck me,” I said, imagining that he didn’t realize how close he was to entering me.
He followed me up the bed, the relative position of our genitals unchanged. “Let me put it in just once, just for a minute,” he said.
I wiggled upwards more, finally understanding how much taller, heavier and stronger he was. He matched my every move. “Get a condom,” I repeated.
His penis was still right there, nudging ever-more insistently against me. “I just want you to see what it feels like.”
I twisted my hips away. “You have to use a condom!” My voice was panicky.
He flopped away. It takes time to read, but you must realize that the time that passed between the moment he rolled on top of me and when we broke apart was next to nothing. Three seconds? Five?
“I don’t have any diseases,” he said in a voice dripping with disgust. “You’re not going to catch anything from me.”
“That’s not the point,” I said. “You don’t know me. You shouldn’t assume that I’m not carrying some disease.”
“Then you can call me when you get tested and you find out you’re clean,” he spat, and we still had the ride back to my car, full of seething silence and tire screeches to endure.
I wrote about this incident before but lost the post when I moved from Blogger to WordPress. It’s a shame. The comments were just astounding in their helpfulness, suggesting in dozens of different ways that I brought this episode upon myself for reasons as far flung as “You dated before you were divorced?” to “What did you expect with someone you met on that site?” to “You must not have gotten it through his head that he had to use a condom.”
Here’s the thing: While it might (might!) be appropriate to educate our sisters and daughters about “sexual assault prevention tips” and “sending messages” before they set foot out the door, once an assault — or “almost” assault — has taken place, it’s time to shut up and listen. Advice about what the survivor might have done differently or should do the next time amounts to nothing more than victim blaming.
Every single time. Sincere or not. “Just trying to help” or not.
People who don’t want themselves or their loved ones to be assaulted feel great comfort in handing out those tips because they give the illusion of control. “You should never have gone to his house!” they say, or “You should have said ‘NO’ more firmly,” but what they really mean is that they hope that those strategies will work for them if they should be so unfortunate as to be assaulted.
They are wearing blinders. While I’d like to feel pity for their sightless state I cannot, because every time they try to rationalize assault, they hurt the ones who have lived through it.
When I was 16 I had a boyfriend who was my first sexual partner. A few weeks after the first time we fucked (With a condom. Always with a condom.), we were making out in my bed when suddenly he put his penis inside me without a condom, warning, or permission. I froze and flatly said the only thing I could think of, which was something to the effect of “Get that out. Now.” He acted like he hadn’t heard me and didn’t notice my hands pushing his hips away from me. He delivered maybe three thrusts before grudgingly complying. I felt violated. I tried to communicated this to him, and he responded by making fun of me. I never told anyone except my best friend at the time, whose reaction I remember being less than sympathetic. I felt stupid and ashamed for being so upset by it. I went on to waste four more years dating that asshole. I might have had the self-respect to break up with him had my friend been less of a douchenozzle about it, but she was 16 as well. What the fuck did we know? Probably about as much most adults, actually.
At 16 the whole world we know is about being in the middle of rape culture and once that virgin status is gone whore hits the neon signs. He felt entitled to do with your body at his as he would. Your friend no doubt being subjected to the same terms in her reality projected what she was feeling on to you.
It’s a crappy way of doing things.
I’m glad you got out. Most girls marry that guy.
I’m exhausted by the victim blaming and shifting of blame from the perpetrator to the victim.
Thus the most critical importance of focusing our efforts on raising people (I won’t say only boys and men, but it *is* mostly boys and men) who understand how to listen, how to give and receive consent, how to respect boundaries, how to be an equal partner in birth control/protection decisions…and oh so much more. le sigh.
What did it do to you, lovesickrobot and aag, to live through that? How did it change you inside? I am curious. It was only once.
I have only recently begun to look at what it has done, is doing, to me to have someone I truly love push my boundaries on certain topics, in subtle ways as well as overtly, for 20+ years. He truly thinks I’m just being selfish. My secret lovers have never thought so.
The penetration itself made me feel briefly scared, but it wasn’t that bad. Being treated like my concern made me a hysterical weirdo and a bitchy cocktease by both the boyfriend and my best friend was much worse. This is, of course, exactly what all psychological research indicates: actual trauma is usually less traumatic than is being punished or ridiculed for the subsequent feelings. Reading AAG’s account gave me the same feeling – I felt the most vicariously icky reading about the dude’s comments and “seething silence.” The description of the actual attempted assault was much less triggering.
“It was only once,” you say.
Would you say the same thing to someone who’d been mugged on the street? Or who’d survived in a car crash? Or who’d nearly drowned?
The number of times something happens doesn’t necessarily reflect the intensity of the results, IMHO.
In fact, the number of times may dull your senses and create a new normal. It is sad that not holding a boundary, whether once or many times, can create a profound change. Lovesickrobot helped me understand the effect of being ridiculed for the boundary. Thanks.
Agreed. This is one reason why I’ve always insisted that everyone who comes into contact with my kids respects their NOs! immediately.
I want them to be so used to having no pause between the NO and the cessation that if at some point there isn’t, they’d know it is very very wrong.
abuse of your person or violating your boundaries by negating your consent is enough…just because you stop being a real person, some tries to take away that you are a person, independent and entitled to your autonomy. By viewing your body as a commodity they take away your right to a collaborative exchange and you become a hole.
It’s not okay. And it only takes once to impact you deeply and sometimes…for decades to follow.
What a douche.
And re: seeing red. Yeah, me too.
“I wiggled upwards. ‘Get a condom if you want to fuck me,’ I said, imagining that he didn’t realize how close he was to entering me.
“He followed me up the bed, the relative position of our genitals unchanged. ‘Let me put it in just once, just for a minute,’ he said.”
It’s not your fault, AAG. The man, despite his domming tendencies, just had the emotional maturity of a 12 year old. :p
I know! I mean, who really says shit like that? God what a douche.
Ugh. It was so not your fault in any way.
Whenever anyone victim-blames, they’re saying that men are stupid, immature children with no empathy, and it’s up to women to control them. It’s bullshit.
He lied to you about not having a problem with condoms, and then tried to take advantage of you once he had you pinned and naked. That’s still rape.
Seeing red yes.Condoms are a must. Another meeting nope,he blew it. He’s lucky he still has his nuts.
I received this comment via email:
Lovely!
YEAH, don’t you know that it’s only those sensitive, wuss type guys who are all subby and stuff that have the emotional capacity to honor someone’s wishes (as had been previously discussed) and give even half of a fuck about safe sex? Dominant man clearly equals uncaring asshole who cannot possibly care enough about you as a human being (or himself even) to want to protect from potential diseases. Besides, condoms are totes awful anyway. Don’t you CARE that his poor penis doesn’t get to feel as much pleasure? Don’t you CARE enough to put your own health at risk?
Christ, the levels of utter bullshit in that comment make me want to hit things. Hit them hard until they break into many, many pieces.
From the same email correspondent:
What you are saying is that men as a species are too (__Fill in the blank with your own descriptor__) to be responsible for having safe, sane sex and that women should therefore be responsible for policing their behavior.
I absolutely reject this.
I will not be the gatekeeper for someone else’s sexual behavior.
My fiance is dominant. He would never, ever even consider doing something like that. It wouldn’t occur to him.
Stop trying to blame your own terrible behavior on being a man, e-mailer. I’ve been friends with, and had sex with, lots of guys, and none of them has ever done anything to me without my total and enthusiastic consent.
Misandry and misogyny: can’t have one without the other.
I don’t get it. I just don’t fucking get it. I’m a guy. It’s not fucking rocket science to treat someone with respect and to obey boundaries.
And to the email commenter: You have no fucking idea what dominating or rough sex is about if you think that.
It scares me how many people think that way about domination and rough sex.
Absolutely. If you don’t clearly grasp the basic ideas of informed, enthusiastic consent, you are not a dom. You are an impostor.
Thank you for (re)posting this. Like you, I can’t begin to feel ok about people who do that just because “well, they don’t get it.”
I can hope that posts like this MIGHT make more people “get it.”
I’m ashamed to say how many times I’ve beeen in that situation and I’m even more ashamed when I think about how many times I’ve eventually given in, lest I “rock the boat”. I think I basically have no self-respect :/
I can’t know what you feel inside, or what level of self-respect you have, monica. But I can say, I’ve been there. I would go so far as to say most of the commenters here have been there. “Swallow shit, or ruin the entire afternoon?” Liss from Shakesville calls it The Terrible Bargain We Have Regretfully Struck (and its alternative).
Women, especially, are socialized to not rock the boat. To not cause the fight. To not make waves.
Even if it’s the offenders who are the ones who are making the option a ruined afternoon, or our swallowing shit.
It sucks. But you’re not alone.
And there will always be more scumbags out there trying to take advantage. Don’t feel ashamed, there’s no shame on your part, only on people who use force and coercion.
While it really isn’t our responsibility to stop these coercive situations, we are our own first line of defense. I started to feel more prepared when I actually practiced saying no. (Seriously, out loud to yourself, it helps). Speaking as a rape survivor, knowing I can say no, and practicing ways to let people down helped me feel more comfortable saying it forcefully when I needed to.
May you never have to face this again.
You are right on with the ending of this post – people hand out platitudes they like to think would help them if they were in the same situation. Sadly, they don’t realize that the world doesn’t necessarily work that way.
What a douche he was. And I don’t trust guys who try to fuck me w/o a condom not knowing me – this means they’ve done it with others. What an idiot.
Sorry this guy was an idijit. I’m glad that it didn’t go further though.
I won’t even address the “helpful” comments. It just makes me sad.
Thank you for writing this.
And your last paragraph is so true. “What could YOU have done differently to avoided it?” Dressed more conservatively, been somewhere else, fought harder, yelled louder, who the fuck knows. The answer is always NOTHING, but so many people can’t comprehend that.
I’m glad you were able to get away. People like that make me sick.
You know, much like the asshole who assaulted you, this guy contacted me *constantly* after this. I had hoped to educate him, but he was clueless. Or a sociopath. Either way, he could not get it through his head that what he did was wrong. He kept on saying, “I’ve apologized! Now when can we get together again?”
I’m glad you reposted this, too. I have been in similar situations … my whole body was trembling when I read this.
It makes me sick to think that anyone would shift the focus away from him and blame you in any way for his failure to be responsible. Not using condoms, like the sex act itself, should always, ALWAYS be a consensual decision. And I’m with Nadia, any guy I’ve just met who wants me to fuck him without a condom is someone who has engaged in that type of risky behavior (no telling how many times) before with someone he’s just met. Red flags abound.
Some guys can be real douches about condoms. The fact is that they are necessary, but denial is a powerful too, and those douches implement that tool well enough to not just justify that they don’t need to use a condom, but that those they fuck feel the same way. Either that or they are, like you said, suffering from some sort of personality disorder. Or their just assholes. Either way … it is super scary when we have to encounter them and even more scary when they make victims out of us.
~Sadie
So if I take a self-defense class just so that *i* feel less fearful and unable to defend myself should I, god forbid, ever need it AND i encourage some female friends to attend it with me…..
I am victim-blaming? My efforts are worthless? I am rape-apologizing?
Why in the world would that be victim-blaming?
Being PROACTIVELY strong is helpful and positive and has benefits far outside the sphere of “rape prevention;” I say this from the perspective of having studied a martial art for 8 years and having earned a black belt.
Questioning someone’s behavior AFTER the fact is not helpful.
I had mentioned that on Britni’s post that you linked to a guy who chimed in. He at first replied in agreement to my comment…..my thoughts were that she should take a self defense class bc, as she put it, she just froze up and felt scared, and she doesn’t go out and do the fun things girls her age do bc she’s so afraid of being assaulted.
If the comment I had left, though, would have been exactly the same but clearly coming from a guy…..if I had posted that posing as a man…I probably would have been accused of those things. That’s how I’m reading things.
Lilly, your comment and his comment could not have been more different. Yours was supportive and compassionate, even if some of us disagree on the prevention front.
The guy who commented after you (who claimed to agree with you) wrote several tone-deaf comments about how Britni just didn’t understand men. And how just telling an attacker “no” should stop an attack. About how prevention was entirely her responsibility. You don’t want women to live in fear, but this guy thinks that living in fear and carrying pepper spray everywhere is a great idea. People jumped on him because his comments were stupid. People didn’t jump on you because your comment was not stupid. I don’t think it’s so much man vs. not man as it is stupid comment vs not stupid comment (aside from the sad fact that men are more likely to make tone-deaf comments about things they’ve never experienced).
I would say not. Taking that class is to affect how you feel about yourself, not about changing yourself to “prevent” being assaulted.
I think the thing to be careful about here is the thinking “self-defense class” = “safe”. Just because you *feel* better able to defend yourself doesn’t make it true. The other problem is that by promoting self-defense as prevention, you open the door for people to say to other women “well, you didn’t take a self-defense class, so your assault is your own fault.” (Not AT ALL implying that you personally would say that, just an example of what would get said). That’s why prevention tips aren’t helpful: a lot of the time they don’t work, and they shift the focus from where it should be: changing social structures so that rape and assault are no longer acceptable. No one is saying you shouldn’t protect yourself, but that is absolutely NOT where the general focus of the discussion should be.
I didn’t suggest it bc it would make anybody more safe. But if you’re a scared twitching rabbit vs a strong confident woman? I think there would be a difference somehow, somewhere.
I suggested it bc Britni herself has said she now avoids situations and places like clubs just bc she’s afraid of being assaulted. So when she’s there, she is paranoid and fearful and that shows. I think it’s a big damn shame that a young, fun-loving, friendly and beautiful girl spends that much of her early 20′s afraid.
I totally agree with you here. I think that being assaulted once forever shatters your illusions of safety, even in places you considered safe before. So doing whatever you can do theraputically to restore confidence in yourself is a great idea.
What scares me is that here, on this seemingly erudite and thoughtful blog, there are folks who are here for the prurience alone as evinced by their horrifying positions on the subject of consent. They aren’t reading about your kids, or your feelings, just skipping along for the tidbits and naughty stuff. I guess they never learned about porn?
Well, I first wrote about this episode a long time ago. My audience was *very* different then.
:)
I’ve been following your blog for years, and remember the original post of this assault.
Heck, I remember your original couch and the sadness of having to replace it. (And that time you tried to create an audio upload from the activities thereon). And all of the home handy-woman stories. And your dabbling with HNT.
“I guess they never learned about porn?”
What brought me to your site in the first place was all of the “porn.” Each and every post was topped by a picture of a beautiful flower. Photos of floral genetalia? They set the mood and the tone. I miss them.
(Yes, I know you have a gallery, but it seems very static. I enjoyed having the “porn” doled out one image a day, each and every day.)
But I am greatly enjoying the rollercoaster of your life. You write so well, and your opinions dovetail nicely with my own. I find the stories of the children endearing, and your search for love intriguing.
Keep up to good work!
(Yours is the ONLY blog I follow continuously. I poke around at others, and look at the ones in your blogroll, and visit Shay quite a bit, but YOU I follow everyday. You’re doing something right.)
Thanks John. I really appreciate the comment. I miss taking pictures of flowers too. And my old wank-couch! Hard to believe it’s been almost five years.
That dude was a gigantic douchecanoe. GIGANTIC.
To me there are two aspects to this that are most troubling — the fact that he’d previously agreed to use condoms every time, and was obviously being dishonest about it, and his attitude after the fact. If someone can’t be honest with you, they don’t belong in bed with you (this is something I’ve figured out the hard way).
I wonder if this guy realizes how very close he came to fulfilling the legal requirements of rape? If he goes around acting like this, he may find out.
I asked him that exact question. His response? “Well, I did stop.”
…and if you were my sister, I’d stop punching him in the face. Eventually.
Let’s be fair here.
I don’t like condoms. More than that, I actually have a creampie fetish. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Looking critically at rates of infection, I’m not terribly concerned about STDs, particularly when having sex with women who claim to consistently or even usually use condoms with new partners. Frankly, I’m a lot more likely to experience career-ending injury or death in any extreme sport I’m likely to try than I ever am with unsafe sexual practices, even if I were a whole lot sluttier about it than I am, say if I were going unprotected in anonymous and group sex situations (or willing to fuck girls who have a lot of anonymous creampies). Looking at the real statistical risks, I judge it to be worth it to fulfill my sexual tastes, and have the only type of sex that I’d personally consider ridiculously hot. And with that in mind, I haven’t had one STD or unplanned pregnancy in 10 years. You just have to be smart about it.
With testing in proportion to the amount of unsafe practices you indulge in, I really think there’s no reason not to indulge. I don’t see it as being irresponsible at all, though I’ll admit I’m the sort of man who’ll gladly ride a motorcycle, or drive without a seatbelt (unless I’m tired or the road conditions are sketchy). That said, I also rarely speed or disobey traffic laws and wear at least a half-helmet on the Harley.
The point is that everyone has differing levels of acceptable risk, and there isn’t a right or a wrong perspective on that question. Some will think nothing of racing down back roads while drunk or high. I don’t do that, and I’m not out having creampie gangbangs or unprotected sex with sex workers, and I don’t make a practice of anonymous unprotected sex or hanging out with junkies and heavy drug users or any of that. This guy hates condoms– I totally understand and respect that as a valid sexual preference, and I think others should as well.
But there are ways to go about getting your particular needs fulfilled, and ways that are manipulative and immature, as well as more likely to result in sexual health problems and damaged relationships. This is the completely unacceptable variety. The time to have a chat about sexual health, risk of pregnancy, and condom use is not when your genitals are rubbing against each other. It’s when she says ‘I always use condoms, are you okay with that?’, or even before meeting, if you’re on a dating website and the conversation turns to sexual interests.
If you have a fetish for bareback sex, you should be up front about it, and make clear when you would or would not indulge in unsafe sex, your recent history of unsafe sex, particularly if you’ve had any since your last round of tests, the rationale behind your sexual health practices and what it is that you find attractive about it. That way your potential partner can make a meaningfully informed decision, and feel confident that you’re not a sleazy manipulative fuck. And hopefully you can have some nice sloppy fucking afterwards. I’ve found that women are open to it almost in direct proportion to my being up front and clear about my tastes, and there will be no shortage of women willing to participate, if you’re man enough to treat them with that level of respect. Certainly some women get a disgusted look on their face and you can tell the date is crashing and burning, but it’s really not the majority by any stretch. And even if you are already getting a little hot and sweaty when the conversation happens, there are still any number of ways for you to both get off without actually having intercourse. And frankly, respecting a woman’s boundaries when you really just want to bend her over and fill her with cum is both hot and sexy, and the most likely way to get that hot bareback action you’re looking for down the road.
Anyway, I’m sorry you wound up in bed with one of the many disrespectful condom-hating douchebags of the world. Perhaps some day you may decide to try casual bareback with someone who isn’t a huge fucking asshole. Or maybe not; either way, keep watching out for the jerks of the world, and just hope you don’t accidentally wind up in bed with one again.
While your particular fetish gives me the vapors, I fully support your ability to indulge in it with partners who enthusiastically consent.
Trying to apportion blame is an irrelevance. Sadly, even when you take all sensible precautions you still cannot filter out 100% of the creeps and this guy is a grade A creep. His attitude to your clearly-defined boundaries just defies belief and his attempts to justify his appalling behaviour and his subsequent sulking are disgusting.
As a man who uses condoms with his lover, because neither of us want a child. I call “bullshit!” on the whole “can’t feel anything” excuse.
There have been times where I’ve had to reach down to check that the condom was still on because the sensations, warmth, and wetness made me wonder if she hadn’t held on and removed it.
We always use lube inside and out, and don’t have problems with them not staying on, but the sensation level made me worry, and the point we were getting to I didn’t want to take the chance that it wasn’t on anymore.
Anyone who agreed to meet you knowing you were 100% condom use, and then wouldn’t wear one … lets just say he’s lucky to be walking out upright.
A lying douche pure and simple.
Yeah, I lost faith in the whole “but I can’t feel anything with a condom on!” argument after I gave several dudes blowjobs through a condom. They were *very* happy and came awfully fast for guys who couldn’t feel anything! ;)
I’m so sorry you went through this, but I’m glad you are sharing! It’s forums, like this, that let us speak of our experiences and let us know we are not alone. Thank you.
When I was 12ish our family stayed with friends (a family) at their weekend cabin. While walking in the woods with one of their sons (14ish) he pushed me down and forced himself on top of me! I was startled, confused, what had just happened to me? He said, with a smile, “I’ll let you up once you give me what I want”! I started panicking, I didn’t move. After what seemed like forever, (2min?) he got up and let me go. I avoided him the rest of the weekend, making sure someone else was always nearby.
Sometime later I went to tell my mom. She didn’t believe me. It was never brought up again.
In my 20s, after having been married, pregnant and with a 6 mo old son. I went into therapy. I kept thinking it was post-partum depression, but I could not longer deny what it was. Years into therapy, it would be “discovered” that I had been sexually abused, probably pre-verbal. This came after many years, and three therapists. It was preceded by my having to have surgery for pain during intercourse. I had given birth via c/section, I never had a vaginal delivery. I was told by my gyn that my forchette was too high and was too thick. I would need to have part of it removed. I consented. The pathology report came back as being “scar tissue” from that area. My gyn asked if I had ever had trauma to the area, and to my knowledge I had not.
To this day I resent my mother. She did not protect me, from the abuse as an infant or in believing me when I had felt threatened by a family friend.
On preview, I also agree with Outspoken Critic. As my husband says I’m “not comfortable in your own skin. Your guard is always up”! I’ve lived like this my whole life, places that should feel safe just never did. I’m always on guard.
It sucks, AAG. You are not alone. By bringing stories like yours to light, others of us don’t feel so alone. Again, many thanks.
There is a book called Yes Means Yes, really exceptional read, relating to the subject matter of Rape Culture.
That said, I’m glad you got out okay. And I am profoundly glad you wrote about it.
You are so right. I, too, had an encounter back in college. I was going on a lunch date with this guy who I barely knew. I went to pick him up at his apartment and was waiting for him to get ready. When he appeared from his room to get me from the couch, he just jumped on top of me, as if he was going to start making out with me, or more. I was afraid more than anyone could imagine. Turns out nothing happened but I never saw him again. I thought it was presumptuous and a “test” for something later.
I felt guilty for what happened to me. I felt like maybe I had caused it but the truth is, as you said, me feeling guilty is me giving into victim blaming. Tre’ uncool! I’m sorry you had that experience.
Check out my blog if you get a chance. If you like it, become a fan of mine. Love your blog.
This posting struck a nerve with me so deeply that I was almost physically sick.
I had a similar experience. He said he had condoms, I had some in my purse for just in case. But when it came to the deal he didn’t have one on. He came at me so quickly, stripping me to nothing and being very rough. Foreplay was all teeth and pain, which did not have the desired affect on me. When he pinned me and entered me, my mind was on the pain aspect and not the enjoyment. I then realized he did not have one on. I asked if he had one on and he said yes but I knew he didn’t. He continued to violate me as I tried to get away from him and stop him. Sadly I didn’t push for the condom, just to get him to stop so I could bolt.
So, in my mind he lied and said whatever was needed to get me naked. In his he heard rough her up and she’s a stupid cunt for not squirting for him on command. He could not understand why I would not want to see him ever again.
In my lifestyle, society would deem me a whore and I deserved it. He just added more rules and regulations to my list of demands from men. Sadly its a killjoy for all.
“Just for a minute..”??? What is he FIVE?? Although I have bareback FANTASIES that doesn’t make it even REMOTELY ok for someone to wheedle about potentially marriage ending, or of course LIFE ENDING risks with a sexually transmitted disease. WTF with the actuary-ish comment above about how one commenter views acceptable risk…asshat…not a problem with women who claim to usually use condoms…
The very fact that this guy was wheedling tells you he has stuck it in unprotected in EVERY woman that ever let him..but oh no, his DOMM_IE_NESS keeps microbes at bay..
I figure my highly promiscuous premarital life was just DUMB luck that a dose of chlamydia was all I ever got…makes me want to give up my new found so called freedom for the secure womb of my previous 19 years of fidelity.
God bless my nerdy virginal husband.