After nearly three years spent with one person, the prospect of gearing up for another round of coffee dating filled me with something just shy of dread. I won’t lie; an enforced period of celibacy (six months? nine? forever?) seemed like a viable option when weighed against the tediousness of overeager dogs, offers of free automobiles, stoned reluctant transsexual fuckers and men who indiscriminately show off their penises in the Starbuck’s parking lot.
Really, celibacy seems preferable, right?
Nevertheless, I sent out some feelers and after a not unreasonable time ended up with plans to meet an intriguing gentleman at the local coffee shop one Friday night. For ninety minutes we discussed families, children, science, religion, politics and sex. The conversation and his intelligent hazel eyes gave me girlie-wood and a brain hard-on all at once. I won’t go so far as to say I was smitten, but I was definitely interested.
“You know,” he said as the evening drew to a close, “there’s really only one thing wrong with you.”
Here it comes, I thought. Here’s where yet another rejection shatters my fragile little ego into ten-thousand shards and I’m forced to spend a week binding up the metaphorical wounds. What would it be, I wondered. What aspect of my physical or mental make-up would he proclaim abhorrent?
Thirty of my most prominent failures, foibles and faults shot through my mind in such vivid detail that I nearly missed what he said next — something about my car? And the stickers on it? And how his preference in football teams was at odds with mine?
I’m ashamed to quantify the relief I felt that his only issue was with stickers on a car that’s not even mine. Clearly my ego needs some toughening up before I’m really ready to be dating again.
Oh girl I feel your pain and anxiety. Dating sucks! But you said it–you must toughen up. It is really 90% rejection on either part. Just do not settle, but don’t get out of practice either–just keep doing it, you will meet a bunch of freaks, some lonely and some good people all just looking for the same thing you are–it will just take time.
xoxo.
vix
I’m right there with you. Granted, it’s only been nine months with one guy for me, but I had my first date on Saturday. It was mildly pleasant, but no sparks, and it made me miss my guy even more.
sigh.
Onward and upward. Next date is Friday. If I didn’t have such a strong libido, I’d take a break. Really, I would.
Did something happen that’s bringing around another batch of coffee dates?
Yes: An Afternoon Spent Bowling with Little Children
Oh Agg, i’m so sorry. *hugs*
I know you’ll be in everyones thoughts that read and care for you on this blog, and i truely hope that you will find another who can come sustain you… or hope that things can be resolved. Either way, we’ll be thinking of you. We’re here for you.
Things are resolved, just not in the way I’d planned. Thanks, Mark.
Maybe it’s just me, but the only thought I have is what a dickish thing to say. He thinks your perfect except for the stickers on your car? Is this high school?
He was joking! *I* took it too seriously!
You’re just adorable! Sounds like this fellow is a fine gentleman – except that he seems to care about sports ;) hehe