A very happy Memorial Day to all in the US. Do try to remember the meaning of the day somewhere between the brats and the potato salad.
Pst. Sale. (I’ve got to get one of these.)
My friend has woodchuck bebehs. Go look.
May 312010
May 302010
“For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.”
- Charles Bukowski
May 292010
May 282010
As soon as I clicked “send” the knowledge that it was almost certainly a mistake lit upon my head. Because really, how could nudging my children’s mother to switch her allegiance from MySpace to Facebook ever be a good thing?
But it’s too late for second thoughts. She made the suggested migration and suddenly, like Justin Bieber songs or globs of oil on the Louisiana shore she is everywhere. I awoke the morning after my overly hasty email to find her comments in all their capitalized glory on more pictures and wall posts than I could count and an equally cap-tastic message in my inbox suggesting a meeting SOON? OR MAYBE TODAY?
This worries me very much. With new access to us will she fret over pictures of the children? Demand more visits than I can grant? Interact negatively with my friends? These ugly thoughts show me to be not quite so committed to the concept of open adoption as I’d like.
It’s a phenomenon I’ve felt since the first time I allowed worlds to collide between one aspect of my life and another, and the rule seems to be this: The more people I let in the more likely it is that feelings will be hurt if I’m not very, very careful of what I say — and I am so frequently not. I’m certain that every other blogger knows the moments spent with fingers itching to write but paralyzed by the certain knowledge that the words let loose have the ability to hurt, and hurt badly, someone who might read them. We all face it, and almost five years into a life shared online you’d think I’d know better how to manage it.
I don’t.
What I really need is a sooper-seekrit place to write that’s accessible to no one but me. Into it I’ll pour my thoughts without fear of offense or censure. Maybe a paper journal stuffed beneath the mattress would work?
Never mind.
————
Oh hey look. A sale!
May 272010
Seriously, Liberator? This is the best “sex positive doctor” could could find to write for you??
It was early in the summer of my second year of med school. After mastering anatomy, physiology, etc. you study physical diagnosis (you know, stethoscopes, tongue depressors, cough while I poke here, etc.) we were all dying to get out of the classroom and strut our stuff on the wards. Despite heads filled with science, we had no idea how truly hopeless we were, but we would soon find out. Finally, the moment of truth arrived. Live flesh!
Forget what you’ve seen on TV; the drill goes like this: you get a white coat, carry your precious little black bag full of brand new doctor goodies and get assigned to a hapless and trusting victim. “Hello, ma’am,” I say as I introduce myself to the enormously fat woman I was assigned. “I would like to examine you.” Now this is in a city hospital, and most of these folks were delighted by the special attention, so they invariably said, “OK.” As instructed, I dust off my finger and get down to business, starting at the top and working my way down, saving the worst part for last. Finally, its time for the rectal. Doing my best to seem cool and experienced, I discreetly recheck my script and say, “Now, ma’am, please roll on your side while I examine your rectum. She complies. God! Her ass is monstrous! You could lose an Abrams tank in there. I stifle a gasp and snap on a rubber glove and slather some K-Y on my eager finger. I recheck my instructions and…shit, it doesn’t say how to actually enter the uh, asshole. Picture it. 23 year old kid meets Black Hole of Calcutta. Beads of sweat appear on my forehead and start to trickle down my pits. Stay cool, I say to myself. You have to do this.
I gamely lift her top cheek only to be assaulted by the aroma of expired goat cheese. Looks like the freaking Holland Tunnel, no end in sight. Well, there’s no way is my face getting up close and personal with that…thing. I turn my face away, take a deep breath, close my eyes and extend my arm, aiming at the bottom of her bottomless pit. Thrust, parry, squish, and I wriggle in, when I hear her say, “Uh, that’s not my rectum.” Have you ever actually experienced your heart stopping? Well I have, and it’s not nice. Years later, I’m still grateful that the gods of medicine kept me from saying, “Yeah, well that’s not my finger.”
Read the rest of the post here, or check out the screenshot if the original post has been removed.
Liberator, the blogosphere teems with folks who could write educational and sex-positive posts for you:
- @GarnetJoyce
- @PlanetMidori
- @sexpertkelly
- @DrRuthie
- @loveUduckydoo
- @HiOhMegan
- @EssinEm
- @Scarleteen
- @TristanTaormino
- @SarahSloane
Please check them out before allowing “kinkydoc” to do any more damage to your brand.
Readers, please add more sex-positive educators in the comments below?
May 272010
May 272010
Katie writes:
I’ve been an occasional blogger for a while now. I have a bit of a hectic life, though it’s starting to calm down. When I first started I received quite a few comments, but they kinda stopped happening and I think that’s part of why I got irregular at putting stuff on the blog.
If I think about it, the interaction online is what I like, but because of the hit-and-miss way I blog I don’t interact as much as I perhaps should with others online.
Do you think I should I put myself on blog listing sites? I have to wonder if it is worth doing, especially after reading about how people like EdenFantasys seem to mess around with their links back to bloggers. And if so, without me being able to spend a long time online, am I just going to be a blogger also-ran?
I would really appreciate advice from an experienced blogger.
Katie, while you might get a few hits from blog listing sites, I’d suggest that you spend your online time otherwise:
- Add blogs in your niche to a feed reader so that you can find updates easily. This might take an hour to set up initially (less if you’re already familiar with using Google or another RSS reader) but it will be well worth it in the long run. If you’re just starting, choose twenty to thirty sites so that you don’t get overwhelmed.
- Read your updates daily. If you’ve selected a moderate number of blogs, it shouldn’t take too long to skim most of them and concentrate on a few that really catch your interest.
- Leave at least five meaningful comments on blogs from your reader each day. “Meaningful” is the key word here. Take the time to respond thoughtfully to the topic. Make sure that you leave your URL with your comment and set up an account with Gravatar. This will help the blog’s author and readers remember you.
- Link to blogs in your niche. They might link back to you. If they don’t, you are not allowed to whine.
Once your reader is all set up, Katie, you should be able to read and comment in under a half-hour a day. I think this will help you find some of the interaction you’re after, but I bet my readers can suggest more ways.
Readers? Have at it.
May 262010
Things I’m Doing Today
- Integrating a website with a shopping cart with a payment system.
- Supervising a slumber party which threatens to stretch over 21 hours.
- Cleaning 5,000 crayons out from under a very large cabinet. Really. I counted them.
- Continuing to be amazed and revolted by the lies coming from EdenFallacies.
- Getting help from someone fuzzy.
- Showering. I hope.
God help me.
May 252010
A comment from Juliettia’s very smart post about the latest EF debacle:
I think the thing that tells us most clearly that there’s a culture of deception at Eden is that they keep changing the story they’re telling, and yet still are not answering the core question.
That they’re lying about security being a motivator for the java links is obvious to anyone who knows anything about this, but the fact that they’re spinning bigger lies to cover existing likes lies [edited by admin] tells us the underlying corporate culture is one of dishonesty and subterfuge.
They’re absolutely, unquestionably, caught in a trap they created. The only open question is, will customers punish them by withholding business, or will the trickery continue to work. Alas, I fear for the latter; consumers are not all that clever.
That’s why it’s all the more important to keep the buzz going to let people know; Eden are a dishonest, sneaky business, and need to be shunned.
Karl Elvis said this on May 25, 2010 at 11:57 am | Reply
May 252010
May 25th, 2010 at 06:46 | #12
Eden’s technical guru says they will continue to use javascript because it is the way of the future. Which is fine. No one’s asking them to stop using javascript. They’re asking them to stop using the code they’re using. To stop hiding outbound links from search engines.
The “everyone uses JavaScript” arguments EdenFantasys is making are a red herring, a misdirection, a distraction that tries to complicate an issue that is really quite simple. Like you said; no one’s asking EdenFantasys to stop using JavaScript, they’re asking them to stop using it to hide links from search engines. Therefore, any argument whose premise is similar to “but we need JavaScript!” is more than merely an obvious decoy, it corroborates suspicions.
I not only understand but commend your willingness to be generous towards EdenFantasys. None of us can divine intent. However, there is nothing in the code I saw, Fred Petrenko’s explanation, the explanation of his technical team, the code in the syndicated content, the content of forum threads, and especially the overly aggressive silencing of requests for honesty that indicate goodwill on EdenFantasys’s part. Eventually, this became clear beyond a reasonable doubt: their unethical behavior was intentional, it was strategic, it was deliberate, and widespread knowledge of its prevalence is so damning that not even graceless back-peddling is helpful now, as you’ve no doubt noticed.
We are each free to choose what “beyond a reasonable doubt” means to us, and rightfully so. We’re way, way past that point, for me.
M seems to think that it should be a quick fix. He thinks that if the website’s programmed optimally, it shouldn’t take more than a few hours, and it should be relatively easy. Of course, He doesn’t have access to anything more than the source code on each page, just like the rest of us, so He could be wrong. But it’s not likely.
I’d say that’s a sound assessment.
One of the reasons I didn’t publicize this issue with the links until I had completed my write up (which took some time) is precisely because there very well may be a “quick fix.” That is, whatever system EdenFantasys is using to obscure their so-called “links” behind sneaky JavaScript redirects that Google can’t understand might have or might have had an off switch. If it did, and I started talking about the issue before I published my article, they would have used it immediately, before I published my article, so that anyone who tried to independently verify my work would not be able to do so.
Clearly, since little has changed have changed with Web Merchants, Inc. aka EdenFantasys (except their TOS and legal disclaimers, of course), there are two possible realities. One possibility is that a literal or metaphorical “off switch” or “quick fix” that would convert all the fake links into real links does not exist, in which case fixing all the links is a relatively expensive proposition and one that you probably shouldn’t hold your breath for. The other possibility is that a quick fix does exist and they are unwilling or unable to use it, in which case you still shouldn’t hold your breath for something to change.
Like I said, either way you slice it, this situation sure feels like it’s past the point of rationally offering them the benefit of the doubt. That’s my assessment, anyway.
Read the whole post here.
