In paging through the legion profiles on my favorite pervy dating site, I came across one which attempted to articulate a baffling desire:
“I’m not into the real crazy stuff that is unnatural, but I’m into all kinds of ‘crazy’ besides that,”
he said, and his description sent me off into a reverie of what exactly he might categorize as “crazy” and what might cross the line into “the real crazy stuff that is unnatural.” Would consecutive oral sex be crazy, but 69 unnatural? Would reverse cowgirl be right on the edge? Would a single open-hand ass-slap fall under the category of “crazy” while a full-body flogger session in front of a crowd of twenty count as “the real crazy stuff that is unnatural”?
It’s all so confusing!
Epiphora and I tried to figure it out over Twitter:
So now, dear readers, I turn it over to you. Do give in the comments below an example of what our dating site friend might call “crazy” and an example of “the real crazy stuff that is unnatural.” Here, I’ll start:
Crazy: A threesome with two men and one woman.
Real Crazy Nigh Onto Unnatural: A threesome with two men and one woman where the men’s testicles are at any time less than 12″ apart.
And….go!
Crazy: Cumming anywhere on a woman that is NOT inside her
Real Crazy to the Point of Being Unnatural: Bukkake
Sigh, I know that the friendfinder people spread their cash far and wide, but it’s always a little disheartening to see otherwise stand-up people link to them. Googling for “friendfinder scam” is pretty eye-opening.
(See also this, although n.b. it’s written by the owner of a competing site, so take with appropriate amounts of salt.)
I’ve used AFF for 3+ years. It is the wild west, though perhaps not quite as rowdy as Craigslist. I link to AFF because I have had excellent results with their local groups, which is where I met my current partner of nearly 3 years as well as numerous other friends and lovers — men and women alike.
I’ve been talking about AFF for ages; it’s only been recently that they’ve tossed any of that cash in my direction.
@Doc, did you read through the long attack? I read most of it, and the logic gets more and more twisted, till the rival site owner is saying that you have a worse chance of getting married if you go to a romance site than if you don’t! Specious reasoning.
They don’t pay me but I plug swinglifestyle.com whenever I can.
crazy: republicans
crazy on the verge of being unnatural: golden showers
Crazy: Mouth to Ass
Bordering on Unnatural: Ass to Mouth.
Crazy: giving your parther oral sex to the point of attempting to Deep throat.
Real Crazy to the Point of Being Unnatural: “http://aagblog.com/2010/03/23/dragon/#comment-24206″((Real word, made up just for AAG!))
bleaaaaawwwwrrrrp!
Oh, that reminds me… did you ever try the “Komodo” method on him yet? *laughs*
So I was perusing my reader, and this blog entry came up first. Then, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal (a webcomic) had this: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1864 .
I think the internet is trying to tell me something today.
and What, Pray Tell,, is the “Komodo”?…..
You know. The Komodo. Wanna try it with me this weekend? :D
You’ll like it, t-o-g, Trust me *winks* just ignore the “bleaaaaawwwwrrrrp!”, and practice makes perfect! =D
Real Crazy bordering on unnatural, I’m gonna need two cans of peas, twine, three red Christmas ornaments, cling film, duct tape and a bullhorn.
Also lube.
Assemble those parts, hand someone a video camera and I will demonstrate.
Ps..you may want to bring a helmet.
The above is probably why I should not really think about things I might think are crazy nigh on unnatural. That’s where my brain goes.
I prefer to think that his definition of something “unnatural” is something that seems entirely vanilla to us. It’s more fun that way.
I hope for his sake he just meant it as a variation on the old kinky/perverted joke
- crazy: you tickle your partner with a feather
- unnatural: you tickle them with the whole duck
figleaf