A news story which I shared on Facebook about access to abortion under the new health care plan prompted a novella-length response by an old boyfriend who disagreed with the author’s point of view, my posting of it, and (because of the audacious views contained therein) my very right to breathe the sweet fresh air that hangs above these United States.
Or at least that’s how it seemed. Nevertheless I wrote back a calm, reasoned response which I’m quite certain he read as Death, death, death to all the innocent unborn bebbehs.
Le sigh, I thought. I’ve made yet another enemy through the magic of Facebook. Yay me.
As I fully expected to be removed without further ado from his list of friends, you can imagine my surprise when began talking to me later. Great, I thought. Now he’s going to rail at me via chat over what a horrific person I am simply because I have this thing about bodily autonomy and, you know, science. And at first my prediction seemed to be correct. Our conversation spiraled through health care, perceived promiscuity and masturbation.
Seriously? I questioned at one point. You’re seriously going to teach your children that masturbation is a sin? How in the world do you expect them to get through adolescence without masturbating?
He backpedaled a bit, admitting that perhaps masturbation itself was not so much of an issue as were the fantasies that typically accompanied it. “Not to give you too much information,” he said, “But I picture women I know when I masturbate. I can’t imagine they’d be too happy that I was lusting over them.”
There’s no such thing as TMI for me, I said, and I bet most of those women would be briefly flattered and then not give it another thought.
Then the conversation turned to unexpected pregnancies. Words like “responsibility,” “sin,” and “murder” came from him; I countered with references to “respect,” “choice” and my own personal favorite, “If abortion became illegal would your family be willing to adopt even one single child born to an unwilling mother?”
As the clock approached midnight he begged off for bed. “I know I’m never going to convince you to pray outside an abortion clinic,” he said.
I’d never want to convince you to act as a clinic escort, I responded. But maybe in talking we’ll both learn to be more compassionate toward those on the opposite side of this issue.
And I guess that’s as much as anyone can hope to achieve.
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A short programming note: I will be out of town Thursday so posting will be light or non-existent until I am once again ensconced on my Official Blogger’s Couch and am wearing my Official Blogger’s Comfy Jammies. Thank you for your understanding.
I’m not anti-aborti0n, but I do feel that some teenagers believe that abortion is like birth control – I’ve read many emails from teens (through All Experts) who have talked about having eight or nine abortions. I just wish teens knew more about how to protect themselves and how to have safe sex!
Isn’t it interesting when you read responses on FB from people you haven’t seen in years! When it comes to the Prochoice argument, I am always astounded by the “just give them up for adoption argument”. As if a woman’s body is somehow community property, and we owe it to our fellow man to give birth. I will be glad when we can take the idea of sin out of sex so we can deal with the realities of the situation. People do need to protect themselves. Sometimes, however it doesn’t work. The decision of what to do then is between me and my doctor, and not up to someone else’s spiritual preference.
You of all people are justified in making that penultimate argument. Why can’t we (1) destigmatize sex and treat it as the enjoyable pastime it is and (2) think through the implications of bringing unwanted babies into the world? I have answers, of course, but I won’t share them here to avoid another unwanted novella.
It always seems so absurd to me that the abortion argument ends up being about this nebulous “choice” thing….but isn’t the real argument religion and belief and ultimately respect? I respect the beliefs of other people provided they do not inflict them on me. I expect the same respect. I rarely get it from hard core Christians…on all issues not just abortion…the fervent believer truly think they have a right or a duty to inflict their faith on others…the scary part is when they are elected. That being said….I believe abortion is wrong – for me. I can only make that decision for me. Yet another argument to be made for respect and if that can’t be achieved then tolerance.
I wonder whether people have always been so polarized or if it is a new thing; not just about abortion but all kinds of other things. Gun control, global warming, PETA; the list of things you can get into a fight over seems endless. It makes me want to scream “Shut the F*^K Up!” to all of them. Nadine’s comment was a much more adult, reasoned way of saying it. (Grin)
BTW, I do support a woman’s right to have an abortion (as if anyone cares).
The political abortion issues are these:
1.) Is it the business of the government to fund abortions with taxpayer dollars or insure the procedure? Generally, not always, (I’m not moralizing), it is an elective procedure. If the government then funds abortion should they not fund plastic surgery?
2.) Is it constitutional for the Federal government to mandate that the states fund abortion? The 10th Amendment would seem to indicate on the surface that the answer is no. “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.”
The thing that distracts from these two questions is the ethical argument. To that, I would suggest nobody is going to change anybody’s mind, period. So why bother?
Again, I am not moralizing on the ethics. I don’t feel qualified.