Comments on: Question from a Reader: Anal Sex and Worry

By: Inferno

Inferno — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 07:07:31 +0000

tripletrouble – It may just be that you get a tad nervous for the real thing. Maybe have him slowly work you with toys/fingers until you are more open than needed. That way it is an easy entry.

By: Mark

Mark — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 11:38:02 +0000

Well, as a guy who loves to do women in the ass as well as having them do me I can share feelings from both sides. From the doing side, I know what can happen and while not looking forward to a poopocalypse I know it can happen and always have a towel or two handy, preferably not white! In most cases is a woman’s cavity is not empty I can feel the stool (it actually feels amazingly firm) with my finger before fucking or my dick while fucking and will back off and let the woman take care of it.
As for the being done side. Personally I wouldn’t ever let a woman fuck me without having cleaned with fleet enema and a good warm soap and water clean up. That puts me much more at ease about any possible disasters. Afterall, while it may feel like you might blow like a Texas oil well you can’t pass what isn’t up there.
With time and proper preparation I think you’ll get beyond these very reasonable concerns and enjoy the best sex of your life! It’s so great that you asked and that you talk openly with your partner about it.

By: aag

aag — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 13:47:05 +0000

No worries whatsoever. :)

By: carolynn

carolynn — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:26:34 +0000

Yes, it is a generalization, and not meant to offend. Perhaps it would have been better to say that men and women THINK about sex differently. After all, our brains are different, and we have different “drives”. There are always exceptions to any “rule” per se, but, it is my OPINION that there is a fundamental difference between how men and women view sex. GENERALLY,I believe, men are more physiologically driven by orgasm. Really, I didn’t mean to hijack aag’s post. My apologies, aag.

By: asrai

asrai — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:50:50 +0000

This is a generalization. Men and women each have different sex drives.

Culture has conditioned us to believe that men NEED sex and are driven to seek out sex no matter the circumstances and women don’t have that same drive.

It simply isn’t true. We are each individuals. At times during our 8 years together, my husband and I have gone through periods of either of us wanting more sex then the other. As well as periods when we have equal sexual needs.

I wish my brain was working better to make a better arguement than this. But anyway, bad generalization of men vs. women.

By: Sera

Sera — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:46:29 +0000

I find these kind of gender comparisons really non-useful. I’ve had a lot of (male) lovers with lower sex drive than mine, and maybe one or two who could had similar “needs”? (Preferences, I’d call them, but just because I like the word.) The NEED for sex varies from person to person. The idea that men need it more or are always up for it does a lot of harm. Figleaf has written about this really well on his blog; am tempted to link to about 15 posts there but you can just look up Figleaf’s Real Adult Sex if interested.

By: Nikolas Coukouma

Nikolas Coukouma — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 04:27:14 +0000

Actually, I think many men need sex but it is very different from their need for a grill; they don’t expect their partner to give them a Weber 7519 Gas Grill Rotisserie. It’s also very similar to a woman’s need for conditioner. They just can’t feel good or healthy without it. I’m not sure if those are good explanations, but they should work well enough since everyone of a given gender has the same needs (which are totally different from the only other gender’s needs).

By: Chislut

Chislut — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 03:37:37 +0000

Sex is a basic need for human beings. Selfish gene? Evolution? Survival of the species? Sound familiar? No?

And if men need sex like women need chocolate then I think the Human Race is doomed since I don’t have any *need* for chocolate at all.

By: aag

aag — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 03:30:51 +0000

Maybe you don’t want it? :)

By: carolynn

carolynn — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 03:23:40 +0000

Actually, while yes women have a need for sex, I think it is very different from a man’s need for sex. I think many men need sex like women need…let’s say, chocolate. It’s a must have. Not sure if that is a good way to explain it.