Got this in the mail today. Not quite sure what to make of it. Not even quite sure how they found me. It was in snail-mail, you know:
January 9, 2006
Dear Ms. AlwaysArousedGirl,
It has come to our attention that you personally have the potential to perform a great service for your country. You can serve your fellow citizens in a remarkable way.
It may surprise you to find out that we have discovered an enormous possible source of energy in your neighborhood. In your very house, as a matter of fact.
More specifically, the energy comes from you, yourself. After further testing, we’ve determined that the source of the energy stems from raw lust. From your raw lust.
Our best guess is that the raw lust generated by you alone could power your city and possibly several neighboring cities. The potential is huge. As you are doubtlessly well aware, this discovery comes at a time when we are attempting to reduce our dependency on foreign oil. We are thrilled that such a source of new energy can be found within our own country.
There is also a possibility for the development of a weapon of mass destruction from your unchecked lust. We have our best minds hard at work on the creation of such a device at this very moment.
We will be back in contact with you very shortly.
Just as soon as we find a way to plug you in.
Sincerely,
The US Department of Energy
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Please enjoy this post, which originally appeared on aag nearly four years ago, while I’m having a marvelous time in Las Vegas.
I’m thinking something along the lines of California’s “put solar cells on your roof, connect them to the grid, get paid” program, but swapping solar cells for the Hitachi Magic Wand…
Haha! if a crew of sweaty men had showed up at your doorstep I would have suspected a TV reality show!
and they still haven’t found a way to plug you in
Ha! That’s hilarious…
If a crew of sweaty men showed up, none of us would ever have to pay an electric bill again. ;)