In a scant eighteen months my eldest child will be the same age. In under nine, she’ll be in junior high. And while the lessons of “no means no” and “you have the right to say who touches your body” have been bandied about our house since she was a barely out of babyhood, I am in no way ready to tackle the more difficult lessons that must be taught and soon.
Her current school exists almost entirely on a single level; the only set of steps leads to a multipurpose room that’s empty at no point during the day and which is clearly visible from the main entrance and the principle’s office. The idea of a sexual assault being perpetrated there seems ridiculous.
Equally ridiculous is the fact that my mind went first to the stairs when I heard about the assault referenced above. My daughter is safe now, I thought. But what about next year? Will her new school have any stairs? Am I supposed to tell her to stay off the stairs, or travel the stairs only in a pack? Of course that assault had nothing to do with stairs, and no matter how many rules I compiled about appropriate stair usage an assault could be attempted there or anywhere else.
And this is what’s worrying me. I could teach my kids every last rule about not leaving drinks unattended or being aware of surroundings or keeping keys between fingers or not dressing provocatively it’s not enough. Rules aren’t enough to keep them safe. They’re just enough to cause guilt if things go wrong.
In a perfect world it would be enough to teach the girls and the boy alike is that sex should only happen after receiving an enthusiastic yes. For this world though, that lesson’s clearly not enough.
