Me: So, honey.
Daughter (looks up from book): Yes, mommy?
Me: You realize from hearing me talk to other people that Grandma’s not very happy with me, right?
Daughter: Right.
Me: It looks like we won’t be spending Christmas together.
Daughter (drops chin to chest, pretends to be deeply engrossed in book): Oh.
Me (after long pause): Did you have any questions about that?
Daughter: No.
Me: You sure?
Daughter: No! I’m sure!
Me (after another long pause): She’s not angry about anything you’ve done, or anything your siblings have done. Do you understand?
Daughter: Then what is she angry about?
Me (thinking: because she imagines me to be a big hoor): She doesn’t agree with some of the decisions I’ve made. She thinks I should do things her way.
Daughter: But you’re a grown-up! You get to make your own decisions!
Me: Dude. That’s what I’m saying!
This is priceless. Glad you have such a wise daughter. But you know it will come back at you in a few years?
Aww! This is awesome!
And some days, you know things will be all right… Great!
Ah, kids. They are so much smarter about some things than we are.
The things we learn from our children….
peace…
It still boggles my mind when I hear about 18 year olds having to get permission from their parents to do things…to me when they’re that age your role is to no longer slap their hand when they reach for something that might be hot but to advise, mentor, teach…whatever you want to call it, and because they’re your kids be there for them when they get burned, and take pride when they reach in the fire and come out unscathed carrying their prize, whatever it might be even if it was something you wouldn’t ever want for yourself.
i agree with one caveat… If i am paying the bills (i.e. if you are still living in my house rent-free, or in a dorm at a college for which i am paying, etc) then i reserve the right to still make some decisions about what you may or may not do with your life/time/etc. When you can be self-sustaining, then you can do whatever you please, but as long as i’m paying your way, i have the right to veto some decisions and have the final say on some things. And i reserve the right to be like the Federal Government, if you mess up, i can withdraw my financial support until you can show me you are serious about being more than just a layabout. i wouldn’t kick you out of my house, but i might start asking for rent.
And you worry about your parenting skills? You’re doing a damn fine job in my opinion.
Lovely to see that your daughter’s getting the hang of being an adult even if her grandmother can’t.
Your mother doesn’t imagine that if she carries on like this she’ll end her days lonely and alone? No, thought not.
The more i read about your kids, the more i wish mine were more like them. Well, not really, but in some areas… maybe a little.