Whenever someone has a good medical outcome and the person who I’m talking to says, “Thank God,” I am quick to reply with “Thank the doctors.” The person usually acknowledges that perhaps the doctors had a tiny bit to do with it.

Chemotherapy has saved more cancer kids than all the prayers in the world. You can’t prove that the prayers didn’t help; there’s just this niggling little fact that prayers by themselves have a 0% cure rate, but prayers combined with chemotherapy have an 80% cure rate.

My wife was very mad at God that our kid got sick, but I didn’t have that feeling at all. I have the serenity that comes with a lack of blame.

Though what I personally believe can be summed up by a big question mark right now, I’ve always been curious about Deism. It was described to me in school as casting God as a kind of watchmaker, who created the world and set it going, but didn’t take a hand in it after that. It’s kind of amazing that for a while there was a whole school of thought for people that didn’t believe in miracles, but still believed in God… Thomas Jefferson was rumored to be one, and he was an amazingly smart man. Though I’m not an expert, I think reading about it gave me the impression that God was allowing people to “grow up” and be independent of him, though that’s not as comforting as it could be.

I actually go to Twitter when I think most people would be praying, or to the phone to call my mom or a girlfriend. They don’t always help, but I feel a release from simply talking about my problems.

I think that age-old question, “Why do bad things happen to good people” (and vice versa, of course), is one thing that makes faith very, very difficult. I can’t offer any answer for that one.

Finding beauty in the absurd, in the illogical, in the asymmetrical, in the difficult, in the ugly…well, that’s a kind of art, right? I suppose that’s my religion, my faith.

My father, a minister, had polio. One of the books in his library was titled “And God Said No.” It was by the parent of a young girl who was severely crippled by polio (worse than my father, who could walk in a Frankentstein way). It concerned their reaction, including intense prayer, followed by the realization that God does answer prayer, but sometimes by denying the petition. THey then went on to consider that God had His reasons, one of which was to teach them to appreciate what they had rather than bemoan what they lacked. Very Job-ish.
What makes current conservative Christianity imprenetrable to me is the insistence that God always says yes (Ask and it shall be given) while ignoring the many instances when this is just not so.
Againk, I blame this on the compartmentalization of the conservative mind. Lying is wrong: No Judge, we of the schoolbaord did not back Intelligent Design for religious reasons. We want to save medical costs by limiting prescriptions to three drugs (Texas); Many diseasses, including mental illnesses require multiple drugs and result in high hospitalization costs of the three drug limit is maintained; no we can’t touch the three drug limit because four drugs cost more money.
Sarah Palin undoubtedly views herself as a good Christian woman, despite ample evidence that she has violated one of the Ten Commandments (Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor) repeatedly. These are separate compartments.

Why it doesn’t always work, I don’t know. Why children have to get sick and die, I don’t know. Why horrid, awful people live long lives, I don’t know. I’ve stopped asking these questions and have come to accept that things happen that just don’t make sense and perhaps at some point they will. Or they won’t.

But I do know this: When I get home from Iraq this time like all the others I will have such a greater appreciation of my family, and the peace and security we enjoy that allows me to utilize the freedoms protected by our Constitution.

But prayer isn’t for other people, prayer is for self. Or to put it another way, when people pray for others, they are helping themselves feel connected to “a greater purpose”, IE, community. Remember the study that revealed Franciscan nuns deep in prayer, Buddhist monks in meditation and people under hypnosis had all achieved the identical state?

So prayer does accomplish things, just not what people might expect of it? Perhaps instead of wondering why appeals to God may or may not be effectual, why not pray for the ability to come to terms with such losses instead? Pray for the support of community to ease the suffering of those who remain? Pray for strength to endure despite such travesties?

Appealing to God is likely to just leave you frustrated. The first option may be enlightening and speed the process of grief. The second option might encourage turning to community and aiding others, which has been shown to be the fastest remedy and induce the greatest happiness. The strength option might increase your ability to function despite such situations and manage better the next time.

On another subject, I find the loss of someone young or infant to be the least tragic. At least they leave behind fewer heartbroken loved ones. I’ve had half a dozen of those in my life. The greatest negative impact seems to come from the loss of a parent–which I have yet to experience directly. That is horrendous to spouses and children and friends and relations and communities. In the middle comes the elderly, who often have already lost many of their friends/peers/spouses/parents.

If only we didn’t torture their end of life and provided better options like we do animals. Why do we treat our pets better than our venerated ones?