Best Sex Toys: The Best of the Rest

At the behest of Sensitive Man I’ve opined merrily away on the topics of the best vibrators, the best toys for men and the best lubes. In what will probably be the last in this series of posts (unless I change my mind), we’ll now round up the very best of all the rest. Enjoy:

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Dildos, Dildos and More Dildos: Ideally, your go-to dildo selection should include examples of wood, metal, glass and silicone. Why? Because everyone is different, ever orifice is different, and every encounter is different. Plus, it’s neat to whip them out and show ‘em off. Erm. Not that I’ve ever done this or anything.

But it takes time to acquire a collection, so a good place to start is with a good silicone dildo from Tantus. Anything they make will last for as many years as you’re likely to be having sex. Money a little low? Start with the Silk. You can have the medium size for just $32.

The best dildos are versatile and sterilizable. If you put your mind to it, you can find something good for your own personal ass and vagina and the asses and vaginas of those you fuck. Yes, I know this is a tall order, but not everyone gets their toys for free and sometimes we all must make compromises. Get yourself the little black dress of dildos, sterilize it between ass and vagina (and between partners) and everyone will be happy.

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Storage for Everything: If you need something to sit by your bed and look pretty, ToiBocks is perfect. From the outside you’d think it was a jewelry box; lift the lid and the illusion continues with velvet-lined divided tray. Remove the tray only after learning the secret of releasing the lock. The really cool thing about this is that there’s no keyhole, no visible lock, no chain — nothing in other words to draw attention to the fact that something extra might be lurking below the tray.

For on-the-go storage you must have something from For Your Nymphomation. I have several, but my favorite is the probably the Big Foot because it’s roomy enough for a good selection of toys and it looks a little like an old-time doctor’s bag. Yes, this appeals to me very very much.

And if you need to store your whole collection, get the big one. I’ve had my eye on it for ages.

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Mess Avoidance Brilliance: Liberator Fascinator Throe: If I were going to whittle down my list of must-have sexytime products to a single item, this might be the one. It has soaked up more messes than I care to admit, including some you wouldn’t believe even if I told you.

I use mine literally every day; it lives on the couch when it’s not protecting my mattress (or going through the washer, which it’s done dozens upon dozens of times since I’ve had it and it always comes out beautifully). It covers me while I watch teevee. We’ve had picnics on it. The kids use it for a tent. Absolutely a necessary product.

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AVOID: Toy Cleaners and the Like: Well, ok. If you’re getting it on in the middle of the desert, on a walkabout, while hiking the Applachian Trail or during your stint on Survivor, you might need a bottled toy cleaner or personal sex wipes, but for the rest of us who have access to running water only steps from the bedroom, you really can do without these. The best toys can be boiled for sterilization (that’s why metal, glass and silicone are so awesome) or washed with hot soapy water.

There’s nothing a toy cleaner or wipe can do that hot soapy water (in the sink or on a cloth) can’t do. They’re not magical. They’re only a convenience. Get ‘em if you need ‘em, but if you’re broke you can definitely cut this corner.

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Any others you’d like to add? Leave a suggestion in the comments below!