I think that this has major ramifications for sex-positivity. Speaking from a sex-positive place means that we can take responsibility for our judgments. Instead of saying that what someone does is bad or sick or wrong, we can say that we don’t understand it. Or that we have a squick around it. Or that we find it scary. Or that we are intrigued by it and are worried about what that means. Or that we believe that it causes harm to someone. Whatever the actual judgment is, when we own it, we are able to speak and act from a much more powerful place because we don’t give control of our feelings to external events. This creates an opportunity to discover whether the people doing it are, in fact, acting in ways that are contrary to their best interests or whether we just think that they are. Owning our judgments helps us keep an open mind.
Nov 302009
All wonderful ways to deal with those things we are not so sure of for ourselves. I have those issues with many behaviors but by changing my mind set from “no way! Oh Gross!” to “well, that’s interesting, but maybe not for me” it has opened my mind a lot and has even allowed me to ultimately explore some of those things that used to make me uncomfortable to even think about, much less actually DO! Nice post!
I think this is a very empowering response system that helps take things out of the judgment category and into the personal preference and responsibility category. Right on!
Own your own actions…..the good, the bad and the ugly are our own and if we choose to explore…..fly!