This is an Example...

This is an example of a personal opinion:

I do not understand women who gush. I’ve been having orgasms for years and I never get that wet. I just don’t understand where it comes from, and to be honest it’s more than a little intimidating. How do these women do it? Do their partners find it sexy? Am I missing out on something amazing? And omg I can’t imagine having to deal with all that fluid when I’m done having sex!

Seems like back in the day when I started watching porn no one gushed, but now all I seem to run across are videos where there’s a fountain coming out of every female performer. I have to wonder if all this focus on the fluids creates unnecessary pressure on women. Have we come to believe that because porn girls gush, so must we? Do our partners expect the flow? Are they disappointed when there’s only a trickle?

Gushing is certainly not my thing but I know some of you love it. So please, educate me. What do you find hot about gushing? How does it feel for the gusher? Is it hard to take if you’re on the receiving end? Are gushing orgasms actually better than non-gushing orgasms?

And most importantly, how do you deal with all the wet bedding?

Notice, if you will, the focus on the self. No judgments are offered about how others must feel or should feel. The writer takes ownership of her opinions and seeks more information about other people’s experiences.

This, in contrast, is an example of a judgment:

Ew, “gushing” is so gross. When I see a porn scene where all this fluid (what is it anyhow, pee?) pours out of a woman I have to fast forward because it’s just disgusting.

I don’t intend to put down how anyone gets off but come on, how can this not be a huge risk for spreading around all kinds of unsanitary germs?

And you know what else gets me? When I go to a sex party and other people are gushing in public. Gross! How am I supposed to have a good time watching people do it when I’m assaulted by creepy fluids? Keep those N.A.S.T.Y. things private, jeez. My eyes will never be the same!

There’s got to be something seriously wrong with people who feel the need to show off with their bodily fluids. It’s just sick to spray other people, wall, beds — everything! — with your junk like that!

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have to knock milk bottles off fences at ten paces to prove I’m having a good time. Dear god folks, why don’t you stop copying porn and have some normal sex for once? Why?

Do you see the difference? This author does not address her own opinions and actions so much as she disparages others for theirs. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with this kind of writing. But it’s not sex-positive, it’s not open minded, and once it’s unleashed upon the sex-blogging community the author should gird her loins for an onslaught of opposing opinions.

Finally, this is an example of satire:

On this day good people the world over must unite to put a stop to this madness disguised as progress, because some kinds of progress we simply do not need.

Am I speaking in this case of the scourge of too-big government? The infiltration of our once-proud country by the world’s cast-offs? The degenerate promotion of murder of the pre-born, destruction of traditional marriage or succor for those without health insurance? Frightful as those problems are, the issue of which I speak is even worse. It is in fact the number-one threat to the stability of our great nation today.

That threat is female ejaculation.

Yes, as much as it pains me to sully these pages or your refined ears with such unwholesome talk, we must indeed address the new horror of female ejaculation. “Gushing,” its sex-addled supporters call it, and even in this euphemism their tricks should be evident. Do you see how innocent they make it sound? How very natural, as though gushing were a normal, physical phenomena, like a geyser or a burbling brook? Nothing — nothing, my friends! — could be further from the truth.

Do not let yourself be deceived. Ejaculation is the sole domain of the male of the species. Female ejaculation does nothing to further the sacred purpose of sexuality and in fact only works against God’s will, as it unnaturally washes the male seed away from its holy destination. Gushing, they call it? I call it murder plain and simple. It is the murder of thousands upon thousands of sperm whose only sin was to come between a potential human life and the hideous succubus of female pleasure.

Today we are called into service against those who would destroy traditional intimacy and replace it with this fad, this aberration, this new-fangled abomination of all that is good and pure about sexuality. Let us stamp out this “gushing” wherever and whenever we see it. I charge you to switch off the television, my friends, when a female ejaculation scene appears on your pornography DVD. March that wicked disk right back to the store and demand a refund. “I will not support this unholy, germ-ridden practice,” you may tell the clerk. Hit the back button when gushing shows up on Xtube, or better yet, leave a low rating for the disgusting video. Let everyone know how you feel about this revolting habit.

(I trust we need say nothing about the ejaculating habits of the females in the audience today. Surely we all practice reproduction as God intended it; in other words, dry.)

My friends, we must turn our backs on what the world calls “progress.” We must fear the gushing vagina. Shun the gushing vagina. Allow this abhorrent perversion to continue in the privacy of perverts’ bedrooms if we must but never — never! — let them shove our faces into the gushing vagina. Never let it be said that we sat idly by while gushing became as accepted as missionary-style intercourse, purity balls or the holy practice of anal sex as a way to maintain virginity.

Let’s get back to a time when men were real men, women were real women, breasts were real breasts and sex was at best moist.

Thus concludes today’s lesson. Learn to spot the differences between opinion, judgment and satire so that sex-blogging can be more enjoyable for us all.