I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.
I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I’m going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, “Aren’t those gourds straining your neck?” And I’m just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, “It’s fall, fuckfaces. You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not.”
Oct 302009
It may just be that all the Halloween festivities have pushed me past the limits of reason, but the title of this post just reduced me to uncontrollable giggle. Thanks for girding me for the 2nd (kid) Halloween party of this four-party weekend.
That’s some serious funny! LMGO!
With all the party-planning I’m doing today, this is bringing a smile to my face. :)
I’m highly tempted to frame this and hang it up with my yearly Thanksgiving regalia. It’s like arranging one of Martha Stewart’s centerpieces and flipping her off at the same time.
It’s FALL fuckers! Woooo!
-TTC
Joe Pesci does Martha Stewart.
Well, not literally. Wait, nevermind.