The other night I was hanging out writing, watching the porn, searching for insanity on the fringe (didn’t have to search too hard for that let me assure you), reading sex blogs…you know, just your typical weekend night, when I was surprised by the chime of my IM client.
It was a name I didn’t instantly recognize. I cast back trying to place TubeSteak9947 (that’s not his name but it’s embarrassingly close enough) while he sent multiple semi-flirty messages. Was he a blogger? Adult site owner? Sex toy manufacturer? Someone I’d dated?
Ah yes. How could I forget? I was feeling saucy so quickly I typed in a greeting:
Me: Hi there. How are you doing?
Him: I’m doing fine. My name’s Edward, by the way.
Me: I know. We went out.
*pause*
Me: Don’t you remember?
Him: No. What did we do?
Me: We drank coffee at Starbucks and then you showed me your penis in the parking lot.
Him: Hm, I don’t remember that at all. Are you sure it was me?
Me: You work as a [specific description of his entirely unique job, redacted], don’t you?
Him: Yes, that’s me.
*pause*
Him: So, are you seeing anyone now?
And I’m left wondering: Am I really that forgettable, or does he show his penis to every chick he meets in the Starbucks parking lot?
He played with himself (to completion) in the Panera parking lot for my Ex wife…
OMG! I’d totally forgotten about that!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps he’s just got early onset dementia. It was 2+ years ago, after all, lol. However that does beg the question then why he would IM you without asking “hey, who are you and why are you on my friends list?” if he didn’t remember the date.
My, this fella’s just a big bag o’ charm, isn’t he? I second Lily’s question–why did he IM you in the first place if he didn’t remember who you were?
Hi,
I’m wondering just like Dangerous Lilly above, why the hell did he buzz you in the first place if he cannot remember you well enough. I hate having to repeat myself as to who I am on MSN. Perhaps, he chose to forget it cos he feels embarrassed now. Did he get anything out of showing his penis in the car park? Well, I doubt it. So for him a chapter that’s deleted from his memory bank :-)
Keep these interesting posts coming.
Cheers
Mr.Passion
http://memoriesofdangerousliasons.blogspot.com
I’m assuming that he ran across my name in his friends list and figured we’d chatted once? Who knows?
In the parking lot I told him that he had a very nice penis and then asked him to put it away. :)
I’m pretty sure i’d remember the night i showed AAG my penis in the Starbucks parking lot…even if it was 20 yrs ago!
Good God, they are ALL the same! UGH! Chat breeders, lol
HILARIOUS.
He is a man. We don’t have enough blood in our bodies to operate the penis and the brain.
Pardon me while I ROFL. What a nimrod.
– PB
For obvious reason, he still isn’t seeing anyone. Idiot!
I read this last night and am *still* waiting for my jaw to return to it’s upright position.
I think he does, in fact, show his johnson to every woman he meets in the parking lot. I hope it was worth the look.
It was a perfectly average wiener. :)
Wow, what a huge letdown… I had a friend who kept trying to show everyone his dick, but his was really impressive. Sorry about your luck.
Oh it’s fine. I don’t expect every dick to be ginormous. :)
My dear, whyever not? It’s America–everyone is above average, especially the men. ;)
Sera’s got it all wrong…the unifying thing about Americans is that we ALL think we are above average DRIVERS, not above average penis-owners. *giggle*
After your, “We drank coffee at Starbucks and then you showed me your penis in the parking lot.
Maybe this is a misinterpretation, “Hm, I don’t remember that at all. Are you sure it was me?”
If he’s not used to just SHOWING, but masturbating, maybe that’s why your specific meeting wasn’t as memorable for him?
;-)
Either that, or what the heck are they putting in his coffee and was it the same barista at Panera?
clearly he shows his bits to a lot of women in parking lots.
When he pulled it out you should have said “No, I ordered the Venti”
Ha!