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It seems perfectly reasonable to me that we should initiate a cap on the number of orgasms per hour he can experience. For some reason he seems reluctant to limit himself, even though climaxing without restraint leads to what can only be described as extremely unpleasant consequences.

It seems to be the worst after we’ve been apart for too long, although recently only a three day break caused trouble. We attacked each other like reality show contestants offered cheeseburgers after weeks eating only rice. Before a half-hour passed he’d come twice. “We should take a break,” I suggested. (I’m the temperate one, always. Don’t even bother to disagree with me about this.)

And we did; for ten minutes we limited ourselves to talking and stroking overheated skin. But then his lips found mine. “Blow me,” he demanded.

I pulled away and scowled. “Honey. Are you sure? Isn’t it too soon?” In answer he grabbed my wrist and placed my hand on his cock, which bore all signs of being ready for action. Good intentions got shoved aside. Who could remain temperate in the face of hard cock? Within another quarter of an hour he spilled again upon my chest.

We were done, I thought. Time was short that night and after three rapid orgasms I reasoned that he’d be able to handle no more. I was wrong. He flipped me over and entered me, and as I practiced my newly learned skill upon him he came once again. He collapsed on the floor face down, where he remained for ten long minutes while I rubbed his back and wondered if I should call 911. Can you imagine the call? “Please send help. My boyfriend’s testicles have seized up.”

Eventually he roused, clutching at his groin. “That last one was nothing but dust and cobwebs,” he groaned. We amused ourselves by imagining how his prostate must have sounded (a hacking cough?) or looked (a deflated, sagging balloon?) at the time of the final climax. He swore he didn’t regret it, not a bit, but I had to wonder, especially when he reported that the throbbing testicular ache didn’t budge until nearly 24 hours later.

See? A one-orgasm-per-hour limit sounds like a pretty good idea, doesn’t it? If not, what remedies for overused balls have you tried?

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