The membership I bought nearly a year ago to my favorite dating site is quickly winding down. I don’t think I’ll be renewing it, primarily because my tolerance for a certain kind of email has long run out. I reproduce the latest example in its entirety:
hey sweethart–can i get the chance to chat with you or make you tows curl? jamiejr
I wrote back:
Dear JamieJr,
If I had even a single tow you would be the first in line to make it curl.
Best of luck with your search!
Being cranky with one so very young (JamieJr is only 29!) is pointless, I know, but if I kept all my comments inside forever surely I would burst. And we don’t want that.
One of our favorite past times is actually cruising profiles on swinger sites like [redacted by site admin] and making fun of the horrible grammar/spelling people use. Its one thing to dash off a quick email and make a silly typo but its another to give thought to a profile, publish it, and clearly still not realize what you have posted is ignorant ramblings.
My (least) favorite type of email: The guys who contact you out of the blue with a very elaborate fantasy of what’s going to happen between the two of you. He’s never spoken to be before, yet he thinks his cut-and-paste wankery is going to be a turn-on to me? Yeah. Not. A. Turn. On.
Second least favorite: The morons who send you the same email over and over and over again. My mailbox is filled with messages, but trust me–I notice the losers who don’t have a clue and at some point I’ll tell them off. Because if I didn’t respond to your dumb cut-and-paste email the first time, I’m surely going to respond the tenth time!
Oh, and then there are the moron submissive men who think I’d be interested in them, even though I’m a sub myself. I avoid telling them off–even though I’m tempted–because I know some would get turned on by it. I’m not going to give them the pleasure.
I wouldn’t want to be towed by curls either!
I’ve posted a few times about the snark-worthy emails I get on said sites. It’s always fun to rag on them on my blog.
Also, no….29 isn’t young enough to let him get away with this. At 20freakin9 his spelling and wooing attempts should be honed, just a bit by now. Atrocious.
Haha I’d put $50 on this guy being ESL. Common mistakes for them… but still he should really learn :)
Only 29? Since when was that young enough to justify boorish behavior?
The saddest part is that he probably won’t get it. He’ll think you have no toes.
It is always fun to ridicule these kinds of things. He won’t get it of course. You have to remember that as a writer, you are more in tune with the “previous” generation way of writing, rather than the new “now” way of spelling/writing.
As with most new generations, the justifications of the old one (not that you are old, just the old way of doing things, i.e. writing what I consider legibly) have no weight with them. Why spend the extra effort to spell when the meaning came across anyway?
Spell check has doomed us all.
I’m afraid that good grammar,and spelling, has gone the way of the Dinosaur…..
I seriously wonder if there is now a confused 29 year old out there thinkin’ you have deformed feet. *LMAO!*
But if you blocked all these emails forever, you would lose out on all sorts of deliciously bloggable tidbits :)
My all-time favorite line was from a 57 year-old woman, out of the blue, before any introduction:
“What do you say sugar? Gonna let mamma lick you up and down the ladder?”
I recently logged on to a dating site as a woman to get a feel for what the competition was offering. I was shocked and felt sorry for any women honestly trying to hook up. I mean the purpose of the site was sex but the things written to my female front were so corny and I got 60 emails in 6 hours.
Good luck ladies. Maybe the bar isn’t so bad after all.