No matter what frantic magnitude of work I assign myself, I cannot shake the feeling of being horribly lazy. No matter what I’m doing, I feel guilty that I’m not doing something else.
Writing for aag? I should be working for Jane’s Guide. Writing for Jane’s? I should be working on Beyond the Birds and the Bees. Laboring away as BeBe? I should be vacuuming. Vacuuming? I should be playing with the kids. Playing with the kids? I should be organizing the goddamn spice/medicine/band aid cabinet. And on and on and on.
In an effort to convince myself that I’m not an indolent wastrel I’ve begun jotting down quick lists of tasks completed on a day-to-day basic. Does laundry count? Damn straight it does. So does untangling recalcitrant WordPress plugins and strands of children’s beads. Weeding counts. Cooking dinner counts. Everything counts, and perhaps once I learn to count everything I’ll no longer discount everything.
You may join in the fun as well. Have a peek below at a smattering of things posted over at Jane’s lately:
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Teen Sex Shack: Click on the link to TeenSexShack.com and instantly be treated to the sight of a pig-tailed young woman bouncing enthusiastically upon a man stretched out on a … could it be? Could it be a bus seat? Why yes, I believe it is!
- Hot Red Apple: I love the fact that Quiring’s photos are gorgeously artsy and yet still look real. Skin has texture, faces have lines, and thighs even show a few quite beautiful stretch marks.
- Anal for Women: The webmaster tells me that she was tired of sites that portray anal sex as something painful, degrading or non-consensual.
- Free Gooey Porn: Under normal circumstances I would have ignored a site like this one, as it is pure, unadulterated crap with nary a single redeeming feature. But how could I resist a name such as FreeGooeyPorn.com?
- Voytastic: A crack team of Russian voyeurs turns their cameras on dressing rooms to capture folks getting naked.
- Sean Uncut: They feature the single worst set of thumbnails I’ve ever seen. A whole page of gray squares whose only differentiation lies in a slightly greater or lesser degree of grayness? Another page with near-identical nipple shots? Please! If these are automatically generated, please add the human touch, Sean. If they are personally created…well then I really have no advice.
- Photo4Photo: Photo4Photo.com cannot distinguish between porn photos and non-porn photos. Oh yeah, I went there. It gladly gobbled up images of a pretty woman’s face and a daisy, in each case spitting back hardcore photos.
- Insex Archives: Prices are listed in Euros and are quite steep; $84 USD per month is the single most pricey membership fee I’ve ever seen.
Tenga Male Masturbators from GoodVibrations: Crack the label then open the lid on either of these products and you’ll find it oozing a clear, thick goo. Don’t panic.
Bloomy from Babeland: And this is a very good thing, because Bloomy is excessively versatile. Use it in a girl’s vagina or anyone’s ass.
Dai-Do #1 from Big Teaze Toys: “We’re going to have to warm this up before you even think about putting it in me,” I warned. He jokingly threatened to use it on me unwarmed. I jokingly threatened to put it in his bottom, large end first. Suddenly he agreed with me that warming it up prior to use would be a wonderful idea.
G-Pop from SteelVinyards: I was pretty blissed out, but not so much that I was unaware of a sharp crack as my partner brought the toy toward my body. “Are you ok?” I asked, worried that he’d chipped a tooth and would soon be going to the dentist instead of making me come.
SmartBalls Teneo Duo from Babeland: Also, they’re often painted in fake gold paint, which peels off. Ew. No one wants fake gold paint peeling off in the coochie. At least I don’t.
Given that list of accomplishments, you are most certainly not an indolent wastrel. In fact, I got tired just reading it. And I’m certain it’s a fraction of what you do most days!
But I know that little nagging voice in one’s head quite well….
I read “Tenga Male Masturbators” as “Teenage Male Mastubators”… *covers eyes*
btw after weeks of not working, BeBe has decided to start working for me. Enjoying it much.
Not working? How so?
You are super productive.. you need a gold star.. if you just focus on the task at hand and allow what comes next to come next..it may help you..
Thanks for the heads up on gooey… that is a great name ;)
Oh man, how much better would my life be if I got gold stars for each completed task. :)
All of this AND taking care of the children? Certainly not a wastrel.
peace…
Well yeah. They don’t take care of themselves, now do they? :)
No, they do not. Not even when they are 11. *sigh* BUT they do get closer to it when they hit 17. So there’s hope. Or something. :)
peace…
Budget the amount of time you want to spend on each task (writing for AAG, reviewing for Janesguide, etc.), and then log your time spent in a spreadsheet. Standard operating procedure for a consultant.
Sure, if you’ve got a system free from interruptions.
I’d have a really hard time logging potty breaks, grapes scattered across the floor, fingers pinched in doors and the need for crayons from the top shelf.
:)
Hey – I want that too. So when you get that, let me know. :)
I think I want to track just how much time I do things. Log the time when I move from one task to the next. For, like, five days. Just to see what I do all day. I’d probably scare myself.
peace…
I also want to know how exactly I’m supposed to allocate time for writing this site. “Oh yes, I’ll spend precisely 1.3 hours on writing about fisting today. That’s exactly how long I’ll need.”
Dude. It just doesn’t work like that for me. Sometimes I’ll crank out 500 words in an hour. Sometimes 200 words takes all fucking day. It’s not science!
God I’m having a ranty kind of day. I’ll stop now.
:)
Darling… What can I say? You know deep down you’ve got all your shit covered. Indolent wastrel, my ass. You’re just a type quintuple-A personality. Sucks. I used to be one. XX S
And now…you drink? :)
Um… Am I that obvious???
I need to start.
Guess I should buy some first.
I’m glad I visited the SmartBalls link. For a moment, I thought you meant that the SmartBalls were the balls with the peeling-off gold paint and I gasped because I love my SmartBalls! I don’t want any peeling paint in my pussy! Fortunately, you were referring to cheap knock offs and not Fun Factory creations. Whew!