So You Think You Want to Fist, Part Two

Read So You Think You Want to Fist, Part One first, wherein we discuss consent, pleasure, gloves and lube.

For successful fisting I rely upon the position technically known as “lying down.”  The vagina-owner should have legs spread as wide as possible, and (this is an important part) hips relaxed.  The giver should don a glove and liberally apply lube.  Apply some more.  And a little more.  Make sure the gloved hand is completely covered in lube up to the wrist, and that the entire vulva is also super-slippery.  You really can’t have too much lube.

Er, it should be quite evident that a towel beneath the hips is a great idea.  Right?   Unless you enjoy sleeping in a soggy slippery lake, toss down a towel.

Start with a single digit, finger-banging your partner as you usually would.  Curve up toward the g-spot; any additional orgasms that occur will be most welcome. Remember, this is about pleasure, not about how fast the hand can be jammed into the pussy.

Now comes the part where you must be very patient.  Over an indeterminate time period the fister needs to add fingers to the finger-banging party, gradually working up from one to four.  I cannot tell you how long this will take.  It could be minutes.  It could be weeks.

Things will be more fun if someone can supply clit-twiddling or vibrator-diddling throughout.  The fisted woman may be able to, or the fister could use his or her other hand.  If you can manage it, recruit another person for this task.  Heck, bring in an extra for each breast if possible.  And a dedicated kisser.  A floater to supply extra lube, drinks or fluffing would be nice too.  Fisting’s hard work.  It pays to have a large and energetic team.  Bedroom too small for more than two?  Prepare to practice ambidexterity.

It will help if you work out some signal which means “pause,” bearing in mind that the fistee may lose the ability to speak at the least opportune moment.  Tapping the bed, perhaps?   She’ll want to clench up when the feelings get intense, but this urge must be resisted.  Tension and fisting go together like sardines and ice cream (ew!), and it’s not going to be fun for anyone if fingers are forced into a too tense vagina.

Pause and relax completely when you sense tension.  Pause repeatedly if necessary.  Resume only when the fistee is noodly-limp and ready to try again, even if this means you wait several days.  It’s not a race.  No one wins a badge for Quickest Fisting, though wouldn’t the symbol be interesting?

Eventually you may get to the point where four fingers fit.  As you can possibly imagine, the fingers are not held straight across; instead they are collapsed upon themselves so that all four tips are close together.  This is a quite wonderful position, as it puts the thumb in the perfect place to caress the clit.

Renew lube if necessary (here’s where a floater would be really nice), then with the hand shaped like a duck’s bill and the thumb laid tightly against the palm (the exact opposite of what your older brother advised when the school bully threatened), slowly coerce the base of the thumb into the vagina.  Remember:  Thumb in palm is bad for punching but great for fisting.

If everyone is still happy at this point, the fister can gently rotate the hand so that the thumb knuckle rubs against the g-spot.  Keep in mind that what feels to the giver like a minuscule movement will feel to the receiver like the shifting of tectonic plates.  Scale down motions accordingly.  A millimeter is enough.  Really.

Now this is important:  Done correctly, fisting doesn’t hurt.  If you’ve gone slowly enough that the body has had time to relax, you’ll feel pressure and pleasure but no pain.  If there’s pain, it’s time to stop.  The giving partner should freeze.  Do not remove your fingers unless she tells you to, and then only very slowly.  Take extra time in easing the base of the thumb out, as this is the largest part.  Ripping fist from vagina feels like being turned inside out in a very bad way.  I don’t recommend it.

Also, fisting does not stretch out the vagina.  I wish I could offer scientific proof of this, but unfortunately I left my micrometer at home before my first fisting session.  Instead I have only anecdotal evidence from two sources:  My partner, who when asked to describe my tighteness responds only with a muffled groan, and the fact that I could perform the most difficult set of exercises with the Kegelmaster on the first try.  Scientific, no, but if fisting truly stretched the vagina, after two years of the practice I’d have flappy labia down to my knees.  I don’t.  It doesn’t.  This is evidence enough for me.

But is it fun, you ask?  Is it good?  Is it worth doing?  The answer for me is an emphatic yes.  I love the feeling of fullness and clit hypersensitivity; even more I love the intimacy my partner and I must cultivate in order to practice fisting successfully.  There’s something deliciously exposed about having him between my legs focusing all his attention upon my pussy.  I’m not suggesting that fisting is the only way to such closeness, but as activities which cultivate closeness go, you could do much worse; for example, bowling.

Now sally forth with gawker-like interest satisfied and horror averted.  Talk fisting over with your lover and report back on your activities.  I look forward to hearing how it goes.