Not long ago I posted a Twitter status message which read in its entirety “Got fisted.” I assumed that (from me) this message would garner no more interest than your average “ate sandwich for lunch” or “really glad it’s Friday” tweet, as (in my mind, anyhow) everyone in the universe knows that I enjoy the periodic insertion of my partner’s hand into my cunt.
Instead, a flurry of subsequent tweets expressed a range of emotions from horror to gawker-like interest in the mechanics of the act. I’m a huge fan of the gawker-like interest. Having considered and ever so reluctantly discarded the idea of a video tutorial, may I then present you with some hard-learned lessons in The Art of the Fist in written form?
Please keep in mind that any knowledge I might possess comes from two years of both giving and receiving whole-hand lurve. I am not a professional, unless many hours of bedroom/laboratory study qualify me as such. For more information from a bonafide expert, check out this highly recommended fisting book.
As is the case with any sexual act, fisting can be wonderful or horrendous depending on the attitudes of those involved. It should not be attempted unless all parties are cool — nah, thrilled — with the idea. To do otherwise is to risk irreparable damage to vagina and relationship, either of which would leave the fister with no place to put his or her overenthusiastic hand but upon his or her own genitals.
The fister should make sure that rings are removed and nails are trimmed short and smooth on the active hand. It’s best to use a glove, not only because it adds an extra layer of protection between pokey fingernails and tender skin but also because it looks damn cool when all the air gets pushed out by the vagina’s immense strength. Sometimes an amusing gassy sound accompanies this air expulsion, but don’t worry about that. What good is sex without the occasional gaseous explosion and resultant hilarity? My favorite gloves are Black Dragon from Babeland. Don’t have any? A condom will serve in a pinch.
You’ve heard me extol the virtues of lube before; if you ignored me then, you must listen now. Lube is absolutely required for successful fisting. I’ve used Sliquid but it’s water-based. This means that any fisting-inspired gushing will wash away the slippery before the fun even starts. I much prefer Eros Pjur, which is silicone-based, very long lasting and so incredibly wondrous that I’m on my second liter.
When the time is right, make sure your partner is nicely warmed up. Is she multiorgasmic? Give her a few. Not quite yet? Get her as close as possible without going over the edge. Penetration’s good too, whether by dildo or body part. Anything you can do to get the juices flowing will be well worth your while when the fisting starts.
Some folks like to fist with the receiving partner on hands and knees. My partner loves to put me in this position, but as much as I’d like to indulge him, I fear it. Such an omnipresent weakness hits me by the end of a fisting session that I have almost no control over my muscles. Maintaining the doggie-style pose? Bish please.
And now this post is getting far too long to manage, so I’ll leave you to mull over gloves, lube and positioning until tomorrow, when our lesson will commence with “finger-banging” and carry on through “removing the hand without turning the vagina inside-out.”
Ta-ta for now!
Don cha know he fisted me ten times before,
don cha know that does not make ME a whore,
don cha?
–thanks to my new pal Heidi from
The Fat One in the Middle for this musical inspiration
Oh, the anticipation…..
And of course you post this two weeks after I learn to be fisted successfully! *grin* Now I get to see how we could have made it easier …
(I learned to fist a good many years ago. Just could never apply it to my own vagina!)
xx Dee
Orly? How could you have made it easier? I’m curious?
I must disagree on the lube, but with qualifications:
If you are already awash with girly love juice, or if, like me, you have a tendency to get really really wet when aroused, you don’t always need lube.
Not that it’s a bad idea or anything. It’s juts an alternative suggestion. If you are in doubt as to the level of your wetness, definitely use lube.
:-)
Really? You don’t find girl-juices to be too thin? Interesting!
I agree with Sapphire – fisting is a regular (re: every time I have sex) activity, and I personally don’t need lube until whoever is fisting me gets to about an inch past the thumb. Someone with smaller hands? Probably not required.
Beginners or people who do this as a very occasional thing should of course use lube. /psa :D
Although I delivered a 10# baby, the thought of fisting just makes me wonder if it’ll feel as unpleasant as that. Your last sentence about learning how not to turn the vagina inside out is somewhat comforting. ;)
I don’t mean that I have learned something new from you (yet) – but that I hope to in your continuing series!
Incidentally, I used LubeXXX , on the recommendation of my boss, but I think I’ll be going back my beloved Pjur next time.
xx Dee
Ah!
Isn’t Pjur wonderful? I could bathe in it.
Gee, today I was just thinking, “I wonder what I should be reading to get tips about how to make it easier for someone to fist me…” This is awesome!
Oh I’m so happy to help. :)
As someone who has just begun exploring fisting with his wife [haven't gotten all the way in yet, but oh-so-close...], I’m eagerly awaiting part 2!
If your fisting post can help us figure out how to get over that last bump you will earn my respect and adoration forever. (OK, so you probably already have at least the respect with your permanent space our bloglist, but adoration is totally up for grabs!)
And if you don’t get over the last bump, it will have still been an awesome experience, right? :)
Ok now that I’ve read both posts, I’m coming to this one to ask this question because you mentioned doggy-style position. And yes, my partner-who-will-be-fisting has this thing with me being in that position. So I was thinking…..what about using the Liberator Ramp or even just the Wedge? Especially the ramp would put your ass up in the air….but is the fact that the very firm surface is there a bad idea? Would that make it more difficult or give a weird unpleasant feeling to the receiver?
I think using the Ramp would be fine. Honestly (and I should have said this in the post), I really don’t like to have my ASS in his face while I’m being fisted. Just, you know, in case. :)
I actually find it easier to accomodate his fist if I’m on my hands and knees, but enjoy it on my back too. My first “fister” was a woman, with pretty small hands. This “fister” is a mister, with pretty darn big hands, but they are very very smooth. I didn’t think I would be able to “take” his hands, but I do, easier than the partner before, even. I believe that his technique is more direct and my level of comfort and trust with him is stronger. I love reading your stuff AAG. Thank you!