Comments on: Question from the Inbox

By: aag

aag — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:54:38 +0000

You are very right. Perhaps I should have said that there are no static relationships?

By: Annie

Annie — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 19:45:12 +0000

“You shouldn’t have expectations of a permanent relationship with anyone. There are no permanent relationships.”

Really, AAG? That seems a bit cynical. First of all, what’s wrong with a little foolish optimism that love, hard work, and luck can pay off with a lifetime relationship — friend or lover?

Secondly, most relationships never end other than by death or the rare estrangement. They just change. You had a boyfriend, then you had a husband, now you have an ex-husband. All one man, all the same relationship, just different stages of it. Your children will always be your children, even if they grow up and you grow apart.

I think that expectations that a relationship WON’T be permanent cause as much problems as expectations that it will.

Having said all that, I think Esme should totes fuck her friend.

By: NaiveLondonGirl

NaiveLondonGirl — Sun, 31 May 2009 11:00:20 +0000

I’ve done this with four different friends (1 female, 3 male). 2 of the times it’s ended up really bad. Really, really bad. Bad enough that I wouldn’t go there again.

In retrospect when I can see that I was deluding myself by saying, “Only casual sex no relationship” The more I slept with that person, the more I wanted them in my life; not just for sex but on a long term basis.

It really depends on how deep your friendship is with the other person. I found that the deeper the friendship, the harder it was not to want more, e.g. moving beyond casual sex into a relationship.

That being said the other two times it was SO not a big deal. We’re still pals and it’s all good!

By: Molly Ren

Molly Ren — Fri, 29 May 2009 02:08:37 +0000

“People have a tendency, I think, to discount any dating relationship that doesn’t look to be on the fast track to marriage. Don’t make that mistake. Treat what you and Joaquin have together with honor and respect. Give and expect to receive good treatment.”

I’ve never had sex with a friend in quite this way, but I’ve had several fuckbuddies. Sometimes I get down when I feel like I’m the only one that’s willing to view “casual sex” with respect, so it was very nice to read this!

By: aag

aag — Wed, 27 May 2009 16:06:27 +0000

I wouldn’t discount the power of sex.

Neither would I fear it. :)

By: whatthechuck

whatthechuck — Wed, 27 May 2009 15:36:29 +0000

I dunno — do as you wish, but don’t underestimate the power of sex and how it can shape your emotions. Because it will, regardless of what your rational mind tells you. Sex is exactly delicious because of its power – discount at your peril.

By: aag

aag — Wed, 27 May 2009 03:32:58 +0000

Oh I’m so glad.

I’ve lived under a rock for the past few years. Twilight? That’s when the kids go to bed. :P

By: BeatrixComet

BeatrixComet — Wed, 27 May 2009 03:31:39 +0000

Ah, thank you. My fears have been allayed.

Yes, I believe there is a character named Esme in the series. I have not read it either, but I used to work in a bookstore, so I was surrounded by people who had (customers and co-workers alike).

Pulp Fiction is a MORE than acceptable alternative. :)

By: PB

PB — Tue, 26 May 2009 23:48:33 +0000

After years of a strong working relationship, a friend and I made the choice to have some deliciously deviant sex. It’s something we’ve repeated a few times, enjoyed immensely every time it happens, and which hasn’t detracted from the excellent friendship we still share.

By: aag

aag — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:30:47 +0000

“Go forth and shag.”

Indeed!