When I went into the bedroom to fetch her after nap time, nothing seemed out of place. But when her older sister entered the room some hours later, I deduced from the drawn-out screech echoing down the stairs that something must be amiss. I’m quick like that.
“It’s an emergency, mom,” she yelled, and when I looked upon the crime scene I had to agree with her. Her younger sister somehow, despite my removing every possible implement of destruction from the bedroom, had conjured up a pair of scissors. These she employed during the alleged nap to shred several of her sister’s prized treasures along with her brand-new bedding, a belated Christmas gift from her grandparents which had only been in use for a week at the time of the massacre.
A few days later I found that my boy had broken off yet another doorstop, this time in his bedroom. This brought the count of damaged and/or destroyed doorstops to five. He’s got a thing about doors; he lives for opening doors, closing doors, playing with doorknobs, and especially slamming. Oh how very much he loves the slamming.
So I replaced the doorstop, this time with one like this, which I hoped would be less of a temptation to curious little fingers. It was, but it encouraged more of what I’ve come to call reverse slamming, wherein the door is swung open so hard that bad things happen. Such as terrifying the cat, forcing mommy to yell, and causing door-stop-shaped holes to appear in the back of the door where stop meets wood.
In attempting not to lose my mind over the damage, I discovered that my boy enjoys a good ride on the door. I’ll admit that it looks like fun. He grabs hold of both inner and outer doorknob, pushes off with his feet, then hangs on through the radius of the swing.
Fun, right? Unless of course you are the doorknob, or the person who must pay to replace the doorknob after it snaps cleanly in half by the weight of a swinging little boy.
What haven’t these small hellions broken? They have pulled towels racks and curtain rods from the walls. They’ve denuded corners of drywall by tossing toys down stairs. They’ve colored on counter tops, tables and walls. They run, they scamper, they fling, they shriek, they leak.
Please, someone tell me that this is normal childhood behavior and not the mark of emerging sociopathy?
Please?
emerging sociopathy on their part? or yours?? ;)
Perfectly normal, I’m sure. I’m not sure because I’m a parent, but rather because you are enumerating the very reasons I’ve chosen not to be a parent.
You’re amazing because you manage to handle all this while having a non-traditional relationship with a hunk of a man, writing here and everywhere, and all the while managing not to kill the little terrors that are your kids.
The world needs more mothers like you. It seems like your little punks are taking full advantage of your generosity.
I’ve definitely never done most of those things, and at 19 I think my memory is still pretty okay. I have, however, recently learned my habit of sitting on the counter has caused the sink to pull away from the counter and the pipes to leak on occasion :|
One day we got those Window Writers and tried to trick my mom into believing my friends and I colored on all the mirrors in my basement.. Mom didn’t believe I would do it for an instant.
Maybe I am an exception?
Very normal.
The staff at the local ER recognize my son now on sight. He loves to show off the line of scars from his various sets of stitches that we call his “Frankenforehead.”
Once, when he was very small, he ran to me crying pitifully. When I asked him what was wrong, he said, and I kid you not, “I stepped on my head.” Then, when I asked him what the heck that meant, he proceeded to show me, which caused him to start crying anew.
At least your kids seem clever enough to have learned to break things, not themselves.
How pray tell does one step on one’s own head? Plz describe! –aag
I’d say normal. When I was that age, and a bit older, I did things like tear all the books off all the shelves every day, nail the rug to the floor in the living room, pour baby powder into the fan, throw rolls of toilet paper into the toilet (every time I used it), hit my mother in the head with a golf ball (thrown, just one time, made her see stars), and more.
Now I’m well behaved and afraid of the law. It might be budding sociopathy, but it might just be using up all their trouble early.
My 3 year old nephew somehow managed to throw a mop from their balcony which got stuck on the power lines (the pole was 6-8 feet away) and you should see his parents’ face when they had to call the fire department to take it down :-)
In my younger brothers case, the uncanny ability to destroy anything and everything gradually transitioned into the ability to fix almost EVERYTHING. Maybe they’re just learning how to put things together! Your daughter will be a famous fashion designer and your son will be a successful architect! That’s the way to think about it!
Or perhaps my daughter will be a successful architect and my son will be a famous fashion designer. :) –aag
I think they are about as Normal, as Normal gets…
They are Ages 3,& 4.. with the full time job of seeing how many Grey Hairs they can apply to your head..assuming you dont pull all your own hair out first..
It still amazes me that some Enterprising Mom hasnt invented the Velcro Wall..where, if the kids are giving you too much Grief, you simply hang them up for a while,,,
I’ll say it again. . . normal is only a setting on the dryer. . .
I don’t know about normal, but reading this made me feel so relieved.
I’ve had to deal with everything you’ve described, as well as pulling wallpaper off of walls, throwing things out 2nd and 3rd floor windows, and drawing on the CEILING in permanent marker. (Bunk bed. ‘Nuff said?)
So I’m just happy I’m not the only one with Holy Terrors!
They’re normal. Get revenge when they are teenagers by vacuuming very early on Saturday mornings.
I’m glad to hear it’s normal. I have but one child and he has Cerebral Palsy, which prevents too much mischief. But he has managed to destroy several of his own toys.
When I was teenager I got in a fight with my brother and made a hole in his door with a hammer. So yeah, perfectly normal. ;)
There is that word “normal” again.
I have those door stops. I put them on the top hinge not to protect them but to protect the little people’s parts that hide behind the door.
Experimenting and exploring is what kids do. It is how they learn.
Humming some song with a lyric that includes the word “memories.”
Thank God, I’m not alone!!!!!! My two do this kind of crap all the time, in fact, my 2 yr old, has gotten to be such a good climber that I’ve considered taping every pair of scissors we have to the top side of the fan blades… which I’m still reasonably sure she can’t reach even while standing on stuff… She has cut her sisters hair three times and her own (two weeks before her birthday) Frankly, we call it trial by fire, if they don’t burn the house down, then we’re doing something right!
I have worried for quite some time that my child’s bad behavior must be a reflection on my parenting. I hate taking him in public. I have one of those kids who runs out of stores if you accidently let go of his hand for five seconds. How he’s not been hit by a car is a shock to me. I had to buy a leash. Yes, it was that bad. But, reading about your children I realize, my child is not bad. He’s just a three year old.
Normal.Not normal would be starting house fires,torturing animals,hiding the remote.etc.Youre doing pretty well under the stress,and it doesnt appear like you are asking for parental advice and even if you were doing so,I doubt that us internet advisors would give great advice
In my family, the destruction of doors is all but genetic. My aunt broke down my father’s door, my uncle beat my mother’s door with a golf club, and I sent my brother’s door smashing into his closet door, leaving a nice door-knob sized hole in it. My brother broke a pane of glass in the kitchen door…
So, sociopath on the door scale, not likely.
Riding on a door does sound fun…i can see why he’d try.
Perfectly normal childhood behavior! I remember being that destructive when I was little. Keep your sense of humor about it and it will make for some great, hilarious stories later, trust me.
One day, when my son was about 4, I returned to our newly constructed home, and my wife took me to show me some fresh dark blue crayon circles right outside his room. They were a really cool overlapping Spirograph pattern that must have taken him at least five minutes of his best Pete Townsend windmill impersonation!
When I saw it, I could just picture him reaching as far as his little arm would allow, just letting it rip on the freshly painted bare wall, and I started laughing uncontrollably. These were no furtive secretive crayon marks in a dark corner somewhere, these were bold broad strokes right in the hallway!
Of course, I was admonished not to let him see me laughing, because he was in trouble over it, but it still makes me laugh 15 years later!
Good stuff!
Curiosity is part of childhood. Curiosity in children is seldom gentle.
I went through an embarrassing phase with my son when he was two where I had to call poison control at least once a month. It was so humiliating.
He tried to drink fingernail polish remover at my sister’s house, poured most of it on himself and almost ate a battery. My sister got a yelling at.
He opened the fridge and managed to open a bottle of his child proofed pink anti-biotics.
Ate a tube of toothpaste.
Drank some plug in air freshener stuff…WHILE I was holding him. Don’t ask how I didn’t notice. He had great breath though.
Got a fluoride pill lodged in his nostril and at the worst sprayed himself with hornet killer!!
I thought he’d never make it to three! He’s five now. Doesn’t get into as much…This phase with them will pass. For your sanity I hope soon.
A friend’s daughter cut her own hair twice in a few months–the second time was just after the first botch-job had grown out, but she had a good excuse. She used her shorn locks to cushion the baby Jesus in their nativity scene.
I personally think I did my best artwork at age 3–a crayon portrait of my dad on the playroom wall.
It was apparently so good that my mom thought I couldn’t have done it and blamed my 4yr old best friend. She got the blame and a spanking…and I haven’t drawn a decent picture since.
It sounds like your monsters are well on their way to a normal childhood/sociopathy.
I’ve told my exhusband many times, our custody arrangement should have included a clause where, once each year, I get 15 minutes in his house, with a sledge hammer and a bucket of red paint…. jsut to keep us “even” co-parents in teh damage repairs $$ department.
remove the door unitl such time as the child can demonstrate an appreciation and respect for it. Works well on teenage door-slammers as well. Trust me on this…
Well AAG, I simply put it that way because your daughter was “deconstructing” fabric as your son ripped apart doors. If it was the other way around then well…. I would have said it the other way around :P
Oh! Well that makes sense!
:)
I have twins. They managed to go through all that plus more, times two. Hot pink sharpie on a pure white bulldog stays for a very very very long time :)
At 7 years old now they are lucky to still be alive, lol.
I once made a bookshelf fall upon me while climbing it for something VERY important. Being trapped underneath it was actually kind of interesting.
I was a super curious-destructive child. Not maliciously destructive, just . . .
My parents had those bead decorations hanging over the couch, right? (it was the early 80s, it happened). I ripped every single one off. Also, the half wall in the living room leading to the hallway had a wooden pole just BEGGING to be grabbed as I swung myself from one room to the other. It fell down. I kicked a wonky fence gate (though I was repeatedly told not to) until it fell down on me and scratched me from hip to ankle with a rusty nail. I scraped all the bumps off the sheetrock near my and by the couch (anywhere, really) so that all through the house there were these oddly smooth patches of wall.
Kids are weird. They mess stuff up. And that is so totally normal.
Also, my girlfriend, as a child, got her head stuck in a printing press.
My kid got his head stuck in a toilet seat.
:)
Oh my, this post makes me think twice about the kid we’re trying to make right now!
Just kidding… sorta. It all sounds “normal” to me. I have a sister who is 12 years younger than me so I was really privy to all the terrors of a toddler in my tween/early teen years. It was the best contraceptive I could have gotten! ;)
I wouldn’t call that behavior normal.
Kids should have fun and be allowed to play
but we drew the line at allowing them to destroy things. Even at a young age I think it wise to teach the children the value of things. Just one opinion though.
although you have probably already resolved this dilemma, you could place the door stops at the TOP of the door rather than the bottom, than little buddy can’t reach them….
Yes, I did put it on the top hinge. But reverse-slamming made it punch a hole in the door. :(