In the course of navigating dating’s treacherous terrain, I have received introductory messages which could be categorized as rude, bizarre, presumptuous, startling and puzzling. A precious few might fit into the “wonderful” category, but the unfortunate majority have been right sad. That’s ok though; I’ve been at this dating thing so long now that I thought nothing more could surprise me.
How wrong I was.
The message in question came through FetLife, which exists as more of a social networking site for kinksters than a hookup site. This wasn’t a hookup message, however. That would have been less amazing. Its purpose was to ascertain if the sender had met me before, and (presumably) to see if I’d like a repeat performance.
I understand the intent. I just wish that somehow, he’d figured out a better way of communicating it to me:
“Hi There! We met at one of Xxxx’s parties a while back. I believe (forgive me if this is too bold or completely incorrect) that I gang-banged your delicious butt with the help of another stud or two (or three — I can’t remember).”
It rendered me temporarily speechless for so very many reasons. First, I’ve never had the honor of attending one of Xxxx’s parties. I also don’t do the gangbang thing with strangers. And finally, my “delicious butt” has only been enjoyed by (to date) one stud, a fact that I like very very much and have no inclination to change.
I sent the writer my regrets that I hadn’t been the recipient of his luv-shaft at Xxxx’s party. But now I’m wondering. Perhaps I should told just a wee tiny lie. “Yes,” I could have written back, “Yes, I remember that anal gang-bang! You must have been AssGuy #2, right? Because AssGuys #1 and #3 were really dreadful.”



