I don’t speak French. Nevertheless, when I read the title above in the subject line of a recent email received through my favorite dating site, I surmised that the sender was offering me a chance to be in a threesome with Sexy_Gal_XX.
I surmised this ’cause I’s smart.
Upon opening the email, I read this message: “We will speak French and you can imagine that you are in Paris.” That and nothing more. How almost unutterably tempting, I thought. A complete stranger offering to transport me away to a foreign land through the power of language. With another woman. What could be more charming?
Only one problem, the possibility of which no doubt did not even peep into his consciousness as he composed the email. Sexy_Gal_XX is one of my oldest and best friends from this particular site. She introduced me around at my very first group event and we’ve been tight ever since.
With this in mind I did the only sensible thing. I forwarded the email to Sexy_Gal_XX and asked if she’d authorized such an invitation. I don’t even need to tell you her answer, do I? She had in actuality exchanged but one email with the sender, during which she’d discovered that not only was he married and as old as her father, but also that he was an insufferable fool.
We wrote to him, the both of us did. “What do you mean offering me up for a threesome without my permission?” asked my friend. “What do you mean offering her up for a threesome without her permission?” asked I. “Has being on a sex site made you lose your head?” asked the both of us.
To his credit he apologized profusely. But the damage was done. I’d not consent to a threesome with him even if he had it in his power to give me unlimited days walking along warm beaches, reading books in the sun and sleeping with the windows open in late December.
But perhaps a simpler reply would have been better. “Actually we’ve got it all set up already,” I could have written. “Unfortunately, it’s not with you.”
And this is the reason why I have temporarily taken a break from the internet sites…idiocy such as you’ve just described…
I could speak with “Zee bahd Fer’ench ass’ent” a la Peter Sellers as Chief Inspector Clouseau…
If you ever do that while I’m naked I will laugh. And whatever is in my vagina will shoot out. Fast. So you’d better duck. :) –aag
I think the last line should’ve been “Fortunately for both of us, it’s not with you.”
Clearly this guy’s a dolt at best and a total tool at worst. Yet another brain-rotted penis that’d be best left unfucked by EVERYONE.
The guy reminds me of a Parisian waiter, rude to a fault.
How does one possibly begin to apologize after being busted so blatantly? Even if you hadn’t been buds with Sexy_Gal_XX, didn’t it occur to him that you might contact her on your own? This guy is srsly a tool. He deserves to be told about *all* the 3-somes he’ll not be a invited to!
LOL I love all your stories!
I love it when women look out for each other like this. O has been particularly helpful to me lately and i am grateful for it.
This guy is an idiot… who has now lost your and her trust forever. Dolt.
or you could just come to paris…..
So what was he going to do if you had taken him up on the offer? This guy is a moron.
I think that his plan was to fool you both into the threesome, and upon his departure, with the two of you still cuddling together in your warm bed (or jacuzzi? Seems like he’s a jacuzzi type) you would then realize, sitcom-style, that you had been duped.