In the meantime, just have lots of sex! :)
http://www.ComeTogetherGiftBaskets.com

Also, I am rather ashamed of myself that I posted that huge long rant and never said happy holidays, (or happy vacation, as the case may be) so:

Happy Holidays!

Have a lovely, warm Christmas!

I’m also loathe these days to put all my eggs in one basket. It’s a failing, I think, but I’m doing my best, as are you.

Let me start by acknowledging that most couples don’t make it. Many people get divorced, many people don’t have the skills needed to make a marriage work, and many people simple have the wrong idea of what marriage is.

But no relationship can flourish in a poisonous environment, and that is what is being created here and almost everywhere. How can you expect a young couple to succeed in marriage when they are told that there’s no way they will be able to handle the challenges that lie ahead? How can a couple make their marriage last when everyone makes it very clear they expect the marriage to end in divorce? Marriages, particularly young marriage, need the support, advice, and occasional kind words of others who are more experienced. But that’s not what’s happening. Instead of support, there’s cynicism. Instead of advice, there’s ‘I told you so’. And instead of kind words, there’s only one word: divorce.

I feel very strongly on this point because this isn’t the first place I’ve seen these ideas. My relationship and my upcoming marriage have been judged, over and over again, just like you judged that couple’s relationship on the beach. And the final verdict is ALWAYS the same: divorce! That verdict usually isn’t based on intimate knowledge of the two people involved, it’s simply a knee-jerk reaction to marriage itself.

I want to point out, in the most respectful way possible, that you have no right to judge those two people. As someone who has been judged at every turn since announcing my engagement, always negatively, I feel that I have to speak out in defense of everyone who is going into a marriage with the hope that it really will be a lifelong commitment. Many of us can’t or won’t make it work – but some of us will.

I apologize if I am too harsh or too passionate – my intention is not at all to offend, but to beg for mercy from you and from every person that has told me my marriage has no chance of success: Please, whatever you privately think about marriage, let us make our own future. Offer us advice about pitfalls you have encountered, give us suggestions on how to build a strong marriage, use your own experiences, good and bad, to guide us. If in the end you have absolutely nothing hopeful to offer, then nothing at all is preferable to hopelessness.

I know that of course this post wasn’t aimed at me personally, and I took it rather personally, and I know I may come off as naive or unexperienced or hopelessly deluded, but I hope you’ll forgive me for using this opportunity to get some things off my chest. :)

Of course I’m not offended by your post. I hope you and that couple on the beach have long, happy relationships.

–aag

*Sigh*