Comments on: So They Say

By: marianne

marianne — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 22:38:49 +0000

I met a David once, except without the blocking… just general fuckwittery after the event. It came down to two things:

1) Thinking he wanted something that it turned out he wasn’t ready for. Both men and women can fool themselves about these things.

2) Thinking that he hadn’t performed well (he was fine — as you say, the first time together is not always ‘blogworthy’), being embarrassed and not wanting to be reminded of it.

I suspect the same might be true of David. Immature, yes. Still, from my limited experience, there are lots of good ones out there (not all married). She should be patient, and write him off as a learning opportunity.

By: copper

copper — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 13:57:59 +0000

Maybe he’s just an asshole?

By: sybil

sybil — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 06:18:09 +0000

Sadly, some men fall for the “I could never date her! She slept with me on the first date” line of thinking. One would like to think that by 40, a man would recognize the ridiculousness of judging someone as not good enough for him because they did what he did.

Just a possibility. Or married (although, less likely with eHarmony).

By: Gabriel

Gabriel — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 04:55:40 +0000

That’s really screwed up. I don’t care what his reason was, how can he just block and ignore her like that? Even if he was too embarrassed to say why, he could have been upfront about it.

I hate people like that, people who don’t even bother to say bye. I’m just glad that, for “Julia’s” sake, that it didn’t get serious before he did that.

By: blaze

blaze — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 03:21:06 +0000

I don’t get it at all. I am a man with a bit of the libido, and my proclivity would be to have another date set up. If the sex was bad, it is an opportunity for me to train my partner a little. If it was something else, I would be man enough to talk it out.

I mean, at the very least, civility and common decency usually require a post coital conversation of somekind, good or bad.

By: nitebyrd

nitebyrd — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 16:24:51 +0000

I’m with Finn.

I met a “David” from AFF. Yeah, it definite was a circuitous route for a ONS. Basically, I didn’t worry much about it ’cause the other guys that stuck around for more know what he’s missing out on.

By: aag

aag — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 03:24:17 +0000

It’s so funny to hear people talk about aff. I’ve personally met dozens — literally dozens! — of perfectly real women from my own little area from aff. Not one of ‘em a spambot. :)

By: carnal

carnal — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:58:53 +0000

I wouldn’t be surprised if he was into a one night stand. A lot of the other major sites like yahoo and aff are pretty much filled with nothing but spam bots. Especially the women’s profiles.

By: Chickpea

Chickpea — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 00:47:52 +0000

That site is geared towards marriage so I’d put my money on David being the typical male in the sense of “oooh! Pussy!” and then “well now I can’t respect her, she must do that with every guy she’s met and how many guys is that?!?!?” I cannot even tell you how many men did that to me in the past. was on BBWdatefinder, jdate, yahoo, match, e-harmony, okcupid, and plentyoffish. (wow, do I sound like a desperate whore or what?) You know where I had the best luck? The last two and they are 100% FREE. I lucked out (finally) with Bull and we met on the last one and a year and 3 months later, we’re still going strong. Worst luck? The very same site you’re talking about in this entry. Go figure.

By: (LIA)

(LIA) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 21:09:36 +0000

Anyone who has been on that particular site will know which you are speaking of and I can tell you from experience that it tends to attract a conservative, “marriage minded” crowd. If he said he wanted to take things slow AND was on this site, he probably was overwhelmed. It is a little childish to block her, but it’s his loss. Personally, I don’t think that site is worth the money even if you are looking for commitment…. too much pressure!

Oooooo you know it? You’ve used it? TELL ALL. –aag