aag

This year, one of my many halloween costumes was a preying mantis. AAG, this is fate. I would like to fuck myself silly with that silly green dildo IN my silly green costume. Your access to such amazing swag has made me silly green with envy, but consider this (lame) entry my official submission of a wish to placate that green-eyed monster with a green-silicon monster…bug.

Oh! The MiVibe pretty please, AAG!

I’d rather be in the position of cleaning out a toy box than this evening’s activity of laundry, laundry and more laundry. But the vibe would be discrete enough to wear around my neck and hopefully the sound of the washers and dryers would cover up the sound of the buzzing and the orgasms I could enjoy in the washroom.

Plus, I’m Canadian. BMG is Canadian. That vibe needs to come home!

I’ve got my eye on the Just in Case condom carrier. This coming week marks 10 years of celibacy, which I plan on ending spectacularly. This would be the perfect accessory carry around as I end this drought.

My husband just said I need the playing mantis because then I might leave him alone once in a while… But seriously, All I’ve ever had are cheap hard plastic vibes from Spencers, and my last one died about a year ago. I read the mantis is good for reaching the g spot… I sure would like to FIND mine with it!!!!!!

Oh, the MiniVibe, please! I graduate from my tiny community college in December, and I start at a very big four year school in the spring. Not only do I need something to help relieve my nervousness/stress, but it turns out that college is very expensive! ( Lol, Who would have guessed? :) ) I broke my last minivibe and as of yet have not been able to justify spending my money on sex toys. Please consider I would give the MiniVibe a very good home!

I would be delighted to have the praying mantis. While I don’t have a mantis costume to use it in, odds are very high that when it arrived, it would immediately be nibbling at my boyfriend’s head with an “Omnomnom….” Once he realized what it was and we’d (mostly) finished cracking up, we’d go off and see how it was for the fucking. Either of us would certainly enjoy using it. (And really–I’d be absolutely gleeful at the chance to use a praying mantis dildo on him. I mean, how often do you even get to use that sentence?)

I would like to put in a request for the Ready Two Go tins. Mainly because they’re small and I’m a very poor college student, but also because:

Last year I was at my cousin’s wedding. I’d broken up with my boyfriend two weeks before and was looking for random sex. (Weddings are supposed to be great places to pick up people right?)

So in preparation I’d slipped a couple condoms into my clutch. This was fine until my very religious sister asked to borrow my cell quickly. When she reached into the clutch she came out with the condom stuck onto the back! She didn’t notice but my mother definitely did… I was very closely chaperoned the whole night and didn’t manage to take anyone home.

So that’s my sob story about why I really want a pretty tin to carry condoms in :)

My “Ghost” is lonely. He’d love to see his long, lost brother, “Praying Mantis.” I feel badly for “Ghost” because he’s the only one of my toys that gets to stay out of the toy box. If I had “Praying Mantis” they could both stay out and keep each other company when they aren’t enjoying the dark, hot, wetness of my pussy.

I would like to put in a request for the MyVibe necklace, as I have not had a mini vibe since mine broke, and I am in desperate need of something small and discreet I can keep in my purse that my 6 year old will not find and bring out to show people who won’t understand, like my now live in Mother In Law

I’d like the Playing Mantis dildo because I love the color green and I think that is one of the most unique dildos I have ever seen. Also, it’s been a very long time since I’ve been able to afford a sex toy of any price. And it’s going to be even longer because I will be attending college very soon and I’m going to have to tighten my purse strings even more. I can see myself using the Playing Mantis to relieve final exam stress. So, please consider this broke college chick for the Playing Mantis.

Dear Immoral Sex Site,

Here is why I need to save Sara the Praying- not Playing - Mantis from a fate surely worse than death:

Sara is clearly an insect of Christian proclivities. She is obviously a virtuous arthropod, serving the Lord in all she does. Her compound eyes with their wide range of binocular vision are fiercely trained upon sinless living. Her grasping, spiked forelegs are remarkably adapted to both fold in prayer and transport the Holy Book to those more heathenish insects in need of conversion. The articulation of her head is notable in that it allows her to modestly bow her head in demure submission while deferring to male mantises in the divinely ordained patriarchal mantis society. (The so-called sexual cannibalism infamously attributed to the mantis? Merely a different mode of ascension in which the holier male returns early to his righteous reward in the loving arms of our Lord.)

The depraved destiny intended for Sara by your readers is an affront to all that is holy. My objective is to offer Sara deliverance from such doom. I would provide her protection from all sin, all vice, all iniquity. Sara would not be subject to the corruption of your readers’ voracious and debased salacious appetites. In my custody she would be safe, secure; she would remain innocent of the travesties of sexual deviance. Her place would be a place of honor upon Holy Scripture where she could pray, meditate, and reflect upon her life of purity, sanctity, and biological pest control. I offer Sara nothing less than total redemption and I think that even a wicked, decadent, wanton web mistress such as yourself, AAG (surely an acronym for Arthropods Against God), can see that Sara’s safety as well as eternal salvation lie in my capable hands.

Thank you for your time. You may now return to your regularly scheduled perversions.

Wow. Just wow. I lurve you, Circe. I lurve you so much I could kiss you. :) –aag

Oh! Cool! When I return/if I return from celibacy you can be my new first girl/girl wild-sex-fling! It’ll be great! I’ll bring my mantis!

xoxooxox

I’ll bring my tentacle dildo! Think of the google searches after you blog it! *wiggling eyebrows significantly* –aag

Ok, I would like to put in a bid for the just in case carrying case or a safer sex tin.

The reason I would like one of the above is because I live in a world with no privacy. And with a boyfriend who goes to school 2 hours away from I do.

My mother snoops, my brother and my coworkers do not understand the definition of privacy, and the kids I work with have a fascination with my handbag.

Case in point:
My boyfriend had finally gotten his roommate out of the room for a few hours one afternoon, and I had to put in a an hour or two at work right before I could leave to see him. So, thinking that I would just stuff an extra condom in my bag, I threw two in without intentionally hiding them.

Little did I realize that my dear coworker needed a pen to draw pretty pictures for the kids (because you just can’t ever find a pen anywhere in a daycare), and opened up my bag.

I’m a bag packer. So I stuff my jacket, and my wallet, keys, pens, water bottle, etc. in my bag at all times.

And as she pulled my jacket out of my bag, caught in the fabric was a very bright blue square item.

“Ooooohhh is that candy?”, asks a child.

No, AAG, it was not candy. So can I please have a goodie to hide my “candies” from now on?

I would like the tiny cockring/whip from WhipSmart since these are 2 items that I have been looking forward to using with my wife. We have been looking for some different toys to use and we have not used a cock ring or a whip yet.

I’ve been flirting hard with my variety of men for the past few weeks, and know that I’m going to have to quit teasing them soon. So I”m thinking one night when I’m in the right frame of mind, I should just call them up and demand that they service me right then and there.
I seem to get aroused at the most random times. So I think I could use the condom carrying case, since you just never know when you’re going to need it…

The praying mantis dildo looks like so much fun. If i get it, I’m going to use it as a surprise for my boyfriend. He lives in Africa now and after a short visit in September, I won’t see him again until February or March. I plan on making a video for him, you know - to show him what he’s missing. I think he’d like to see that dildo make an appearance.

I would like to gradually introduce my beloved to the idea of toys and such (I use some alone, but she doesn’t). The praying mantis, by NOT looking like a realistic penis, may be just the thing for a non-threatening maiden (you should excuse the expression) voyage. Please consider us. Thanks!

This is my bid for either that pretty condom compact or the Safer Sex tin.

I have no idea how to carry condoms. I’ve been in a happy mostly monogamous fluid-bonded relationship for most of the time I’ve been having sex. I’ve never had to keep condoms on hand!
Now, we’re going poly! I’ve met up with a few delightful ladies, but have yet to get it on with a nice boy. I’ve met one. He rocks, and I really want hot sex.
With my pack-rat ways and lack of experience with those damn foil packages it is almost inevitable that carrying condoms around without some sort of protective shield will result in either death to the condom wrapper or discovery by friends. Who I’m not quite ready to explain my fucking of other people to yet.
So, my choices if you don’t help me out are wasted condoms or awkward conversations. Please aag, don’t leave me to that fate!

“A cock ring that doubles as a whip? And just who, pray-tell, is weilding the whip whilst the cock ring is being donned?

Am I to guess the whip is for you, demanding the instant and onerous bondage of my cock at your behest?

I think that is what you really want, isn’t it? To have a moment to control, persuade, conjure and elucidate whatever you can in those precious moments…out of my stiff and struggling, bound cock. That is what you want, isn’t it?

It may be what I want as well…but to actually put it in words would reduce its impact; better I whisper my submission in your ear.

Dear, I am yours.”

PS Hi, AAG. That was all I really wanted to say in the first place, a simple hello. I have no idea at all where that other voice came from:)

I’ve never owned a sex toy. I would love to put myself in the running for tne MiVibe.

After many years of dating and almost getting married to the wrong man for very wrong reasons (read: greencard for him) I had the lucky fortune to meet a really great man. He does not complete me; I am a whole person on my own. Meeting him coinsided, maybe not accidentally, with a kind of resolution to love myself above all after my engagement exploded. This confluence resulted in a much better sex life, partnered or not. I would like to reward my work on myself and my blessed luck at meeting someone very special with a sex toy that we can share.

I am recent reader of your blog but I can call myself a daily reader now. I really enjoy it and thank you for taking the time to put your life to print.

Aww aag you had all these gorgeous little knick knacks that you never got round to using? how lucky are you to have so many toys you neglect opening some? lol! ^^
the compact’s lovely, but i think i like the MiVibe better! cause, y know i could bring it to school to spice things up during a monotonous lecture.. for him to use on me during a movie (his fingers get tired).. oh yes and on the bus. we’ve come to realise that mobile phone vibrations are simply not strong enough *sigh*
i think im outside your shipping region so im not in it to win. i might get myself one though (:

Oh, I saw the MiVibe and squealed, “Oh, I want it!” See, not only do I like discreet toys that I can use in places that I have no business to be using them, I love wearing conversation pieces and unique items that no one else has. And I kind of think that the only way to top my “Fuck My Face” necklace is with a vibrator necklace. It would be perfect for my odd and unusual wardrobe as well as a welcome addition to my toy collection.

So, pick me please?

I want to put in a request for the Just in Case. Why?:

As someone who strongly preaches safe sex and is just entering the idea of an open relationship, I am carrying condoms again. I’m terrible at hiding them, as I’ve never had to carry them!! My partner & I are fluid bound but keeping each other safe is top priority. Every girl needs a cute way to keep herself safe. You’d be protecting my vagina!! Seriously! AND my partner’s penis! Two for one! And I could check my makeup after wards! ;) Hey, you never know where you’ll be when the moment strikes!

I NEED the MiVibe. Not for me. But for my girlfriend. Why do you ask? Well frankly, she’d loose her head if it wasn’t attached.
I can’t tell you how many nights I’ve frantically searched under the bed, in the closet, on top of the dresser, under the fridge, etc., etc. trying to find the toy she wanted.
I’ve threatened to put them on chains so she can’t loose them. And then you post this lovely gem, that’s already on a chain!!
You’d be helping a guy get laid a little faster and spend less time on the floor looking for MIA sex toys.

My bid is for the Just My Luck Condom Carrying Case and here is why.

I live in NJ and work at a prominent department store in NYC in a high pressured sales environment doing makeup artistry. The hours are rough, and the strain on my body is even more hellacious. Because I have very little time in-between my commute to my job, and going out to social networking events afterwards, it’s important to keep a makeup case as well as a mirror.

I also have someone who I am seeing as well and quite frequently I will meet her after work. Since my job checks everyone’s bag before they leave, I need a discreet way of putting a few condoms aside so that I can use it with her during sex. If anything, I stress the importance of safe sex, and having a mirror that has an “alter-ego” would fit my lifestyle and personality perfectly!

and hey, if that comment wasn’t a winning one, I can always flash my boobs! giggles

oh sarah the playing mantis is fantastic!

that said, since i’m already the proud owner of a tentacle i’ll just covet it and leave it to one of your other greener with envy commenters win it

plus mailing swag to canada is a total pain

dear whipsider: you want me to review sarah right? you know you want it!

Sara the Playing Mantis, how popular she is in her elegant greenness. How unassuming and peaceful she seems, waiting patiently. How exciting her abilities to bring pleasure. As I venture into this amazing realm of sextasy, Sara can help me find release, perhaps even responding to the whispered plea of my backside, which has thus far gone unanswered. I’ve always considered myself a nature lover. My lust for Sara takes that to a whole ‘nother level.

Oh how I need the Playing Mantis! My husband and I have sex maybe once a week and he’s always complaining about me “pestering” him. For the love of all that is sexually related, we’re only 23! I am too young to be in a sexless marriage!

I think that the playing mantis will be the answer to my orgasmic prayers.