aag

Maybe I’m a sap - my first reaction was “awwww” and then “oh hell i can’t watch it, i’ll sob like a 2 year old”.
Extreme Home Makeover makes me cry.

This? hoooboy.

@Lilly — I cry at Home Makeover, too! I would bawl my eyes out on this one!

But it sounds like a show that could help us all deal with death a bit more gracefully than we do now…which is to say, ignore it and maybe it will go away (though ironically enough that ends up meaning we’re ignoring an important aspect of our lives in the process, but I digress)…

I know I’m facing the inevitable demise of my own parents in the next decade or two and I could use any guidance I can get to help cope with those days ahead. I say air it!

Like Lilly and Archdiva, I would probably cry like a baby at this show.

I think, if it’s a “real” situation with an informed volunteer, that such a show could be very fulfilling for its participants.

The title, however, sounds a lot like there’s going to be a “gotcha!” at the end, during which the participant is told by the show’s producers, “you’re not really dying! Yay!”

it’s only a working title, the premise is more relevant at the moment. also some people will cure themselves with this kind of thing.

anyway i think that this could be one of the more beautiful shows ever and really, probst is a pretty dignified guy, i think he would be respectful… at least of the ones worth respecting…

Since speaking with you this morning I have given this a lot of thought. I can certainly see the sides of those who debate whether or not it’s exploiting those involved. I can understand why people balk at yet another reality television show that may or may not have the best intentions at heart.

As someone who is trying desperately to live, it sounds like a dream come true in many ways. It also sounds like a situation in which you have to have truly accepted your diagnosis, your place in this world, and the fact that no matter what you do from the moment you’re on that show, it will be seen as your last hurrah (more of less).

Realizing that this is your space, I will stop commenting now. Instead, perhaps I need to blog about it myself.

It was great to chat with you this morning.

I’m skeptical, but more open to the idea after reading this entry. The idea/concept? Great. I’m all for anything that lets anyone, terminal or no, get the most out of life.

However, seeing and knowing what havoc has been wrought in the name of reality tv, I worry. Getting involved with it is, as you point out, the subjects free choice, but the snips they pull with editing, coaxing, staging, etc, can completely twist an intention. A reality show contestant has the rest of his/her life to live down any issues or dignity-robbing moments…these folks will have to process the further weight of “This will likely be the last great work I am to be remembered for in this lifetime”.

Another thing that comes to mind is continuation. I do my best not to fall prey to sensationalism, but there’s a reason shows like fear factor make it. I just wonder if the gore/embarassment/explicit loving American public will embrace it as ‘edgy’ enough, you know? Strictly as a marketing standpoint, mind - as I mentioned before, I’m all for making anyone’s dreams come true.

The legacy bit. That’s what hooked me. In general, I abhor reality television. It’s just one of my “uppity” opinions. However, if I could leave this life knowing that I’d made a difference…

And not only are we interested in our own life events, but we’ve also begun eagerly to watch strangers’ accounts of searching for true love, getting married, giving birth, raising children, raising more children, losing weight, telling secrets, eating bugs and just plain living.

I grant that none of the above programs may be stellar examples of televised brilliance, but they do give evidence to our deep fascination with observing how our fellow humans deal with the business of being human.

Notice anything important missing from that list?

Like alot of people, I never got into the whole ‘reality’ TV thing. And this one has a slight air of exploitation, even if the participants want to be in it. But I also think it will open windows into aspects of life that need to be brought into the open…death, dying and how we deal with it.

Both my parents are still living, but they are in their 80s and 90s so I’m well aware that they wont be here too much longer. I really have no idea how I will deal with the situation, from the phone call (I live almost 1000 miles away) to all the other things that will have to be dealt with. This could show me how others do it and possibly make that time a little easier.

I don’t think the idea is so bad. You’re right, it has some merit. But given TV’s track record at hosing up good ideas and the special place humans hold for death and dying, it’s a risky move.

I suspect that those who could handle it and get something fromo it probably don’t need to and those who can’t would probably muck it upo for everyone else.

I guess I’m cynical that way, but I’m glad you’re not. In a weird way, you talking about it is more appealinig than the actual show for me.

though i’ve read your blog everyday since i discovered it i have never commented. Todays entry will bring my first.

These “reality” shows, regardless of topic, exemplify the misguided, diluted, and escapist ideology that American society has accepted as the norm. Its like the circus maximus during the Roman empire. We are so apathetic and lame that we’d rather turn inwards and watch meaningless dribble aka reality tv then actually deal with the real issues facing us (pointless wars, education, health care, social programs, the economy, poverty, abortion, same sex marriage, racism, and the list goes on). That may not be true for every individual and i have no real figures, but i’d venture to say it is for the majority of the folks in this country (just look at the ratings these shows get).

You state that, “…a show such as this has the potential to be enormously beautiful as well as educational”. What? Since when are junk reality TV shows beautiful and educational? Seriously, do you think the producers of survivor are going to make it beautiful and educational? Ah, but you answer this question in the very next paragraph, “Of course, even the best of ideas could be ruined by unscrupulous producers, overzealous product placement, miserable writing or a host of other intangibles impossible to predict months in advance. Any of those things might make this show an abysmal failure” (thats the logical part of your brain saying…dont believe the hype).

So according to your post, reality shows are social experiments to help us further understand being human, etc, etc….PISH POSH. It is what it is…yet another chance to exploit the human condition in order to feed America’s perverse taste for voyeurism/escapism and further fatten the pockets of the media machine and its campaign of consistently dumbing down our society.

While I agree with you on many points, the one that bothers me about this concept was this one:

Sure, parts are contrived, but don’t we always endeavor to look our best for the sake of history? Who hasn’t cozied up to a disliked family member for the camera, or ignored discomfort to give a good bit of video, or sucked in a stomach or stood up straighter or jockeyed for the best angle? The camera captures an idealized slice, not the actual moment.

Death does not necessarily have to be a private thing; for some it is, and they are unlikely to be the ones who would sign up for this program. However, I fully believe, and I’m positive I am not alone here, that approaching your death in a healthy way is actually more of a letting go, a freeing of all the material selfishness and artifice we carry with us through our lives.

I am an atheist. For myself, it would not be getting myself ready to reckon with God (or Goddess), but I am aware that I am largely in a minority. For those who will just use this show as an opportunity to get on TV, how will they approach their God if they have falsified themselves for a brief shot at earthly recognition by “cozying up to a disliked family member?” Is that a legacy people want to leave behind when they die? “I hated my mother, but now that I’m dying and going to be on TV, she was the rock I always needed when I was growing up. (exaggerated sigh)”

I have no doubt the producers have honest and good intentions. Opportunists will always find a way to distort and exploit even the best things, and that’s why I can’t watch this show.

I think if it’s handled right, it will be greatly uplifting. That’s the trick though, it has to be handled correctly. Look at it this way, it has the potential to be the “Make A Wish” foundation for adults. Here’s hoping they do it right.

I generally cannot stand reality shows because I find them tedious. But I think I may agree with you on this. It could be very uplifting and life-affirming.

I’m curious to see how it’s handled.

I read the original article and I’m not at all impressed with the idea of the show. It strikes me that its premise is wrong-headed. The people I know who found out they were terminally ill didn’t fly off to who knows where to fulfill one final dream. They spent their last days with family and friends, trying to make life as “ordinary”–and ordinarily joyful and meaningful–as possible. They got busy trying to live–but I don’t like the idea that living means you have to climb a mountain, visit Italy, or have one last grand adventure. Life is tremendous adventure, and many of us treat it all too cavalierly. People like you, who spend time valuing the seemingly mundane and everyday–kittens, kids, sex, the pleasures of the home, flowers, photographs–already know how to make a full and beautiful life out of what’s happening all around us. But it sounds to me like the show will encourage and seek out those who feel like life has somehow passed them by just because they never made it to Hawaii, never got their handprints in concrete on that boulevard in Hollywood, never got, as the link suggests, to play guitar with Eric Clapton.

Eric Clapton. That’s what life is all about.

I have no interest in watching a bunch of bozos eat bugs or goat testicles. But this show sounds like it may have actual meaning (provided it’s done well, of course.)

Not to sound like a Hollywood publicist, but I suspect the show will inspire at least some people to not take their lives for granted so much and to live their lives more fully.

This would basically be a televised version of the “Make a Wish Foundation”, and the Jack Nicholson-Morgan Freeman movie “The Bucket List”.

I can see your point, and I have spent enough time with a terminally-ill loved one to see why some people may want to put themselves on TV at this point in their lives. Especially if it’s not exploitative. They may feel that they have not made an impact in their life, and this may be their chance to really do something.

This show would have to really sink low to reach the execrable depths of “Rock of Love,” or similar reality TV. Not all reality TV is the same. Although I don’t know if I’ll be compelled to watch it, I’m certainly not offended by the idea.

I wonder about the affect a show like that would have on the family members involved. People deal with death in very different ways, and I can see both how watching a beloved dying family member on reality TV could be deeply damaging, or perhaps healing to see them fulfilling their dreams. For the adults, that is.

I personally would find it sickening to see the minor children of a dying parent, grandparent, or whatever on television, and I certainly don’t trust reality TV producers and writers to keep the kids off the show. I think the short-lived reality show Kid Nation proves that the reality TV business isn’t afraid of putting any kids whose parents are willing to sign consent forms in front of cameras.

I lost a grandmother, grandfather, and uncle to terminal illness, a grandfather to a car accident, and my mother to a car accident between the ages of 6 to 18. Because of my personal experience, which of course does not speak for anyone other than myself, I don’t believe a child can fully understand what it would mean to be filmed, interviewed, and put on TV during such a difficult time, and therefore could not give consent. In addition, no one knows what effect it would have on their grieving and eventual recovery. Perhaps it wouldn’t hurt the kids any, but I think there is a real potential for these hypothetical kids to have their pain exploited for the cameras. And there may be a well meaning parent or guardian who believes that, well, if little Sally says she wants to be on the show, then okay she can be on the show. But kids don’t have the best coping skills, particularly with the grief, confusion, and anger that comes with losing a loved one, and to focus a camera on that seems to me the lowest form of entertainment, even with the best of intentions involved, even if the child says he/she wants to be on TV, and even if the parent allows it.

Perhaps the show won’t feature any children. But if it does, I’ll add my voice to those who call it sick and obscene.

I don’t care what people say, I think it’s a beautiful idea for a program. Society hasn’t yet gotten to the point where we can openly talk about death without someone feeling it taboo, unnecessary or offensive. Not only will this show allow the people with a short time to live the chance to be happy in their last moments, it will put death out in the open as a welcomed discussion topic instead of something that is feared or hushed up.

That is, if everything is done with care and responsibility. The most beautiful ideas can quickly become the ugliest things to ever be.

I didn’t mention it before, but I’ve always enjoyed certain health channel specials dealing with people with odd or terminal illnesses.

One of my favourites is called “The Boy Who’s Skin Fell Off”, was about a 30 year old man who had a disorder where his skin would come off, EB. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonny_Kennedy)

And it opened with him narrating what happened after he died. Yeah, he narrated the scene where in his parents were laying him out in his coffin. The show followed him for the last few months of his life, while he went about the business of living, going to fundraisers and awareness meetings about his disorder, and even to pick out his own casket. (Which was actually pretty funny. He ordered it with two specific designs - a tiger, from his favourite line from Queen’s ‘Don’t Stop Me Now’ and the Heinz baked bean’s logo. Because he figured people would look at it and be like ‘WTF? Why did he put that their?’.

It was messy, and genuine, honest, and very sweet.

It was a sad show, but it also reminds you about the perseverance of the human spirit, and reminds you to live to the fullest, the best you can.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epidermolysis_bullosa

I can see this new show being like that, if done well. Its morbid, but I’ll watch it.

Another mawkish, maudlin spectacle like Extreme Home Makeover (minus the shirtless guy yelling at people through a megaphone)? No thanks.. but not like I’d be inclined to watch either one in the first place anyway. :)

My ex-wife and I decided to get divorced in the year after she conquered breast cancer. We both received a crucial lesson, way too up-close-and-personal, that Life Is Short. Way too short to spend with anyone that doesn’t make you shine with delight at least some of the time.