aag

8th Oct, 2008

Bacon

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The place: My bedroom.

The time: 10 a.m. on a sunny Saturday morning.

The action: Your narrator and her lover are in their third hour of fucking. Neither has eaten breakfast.

Me: Make me come one more time and then we’ll go get breakfast.

Him, rolling on top of her: Just one more time, hm?

Me, while being penetrated: Yes, just one more time OHHHH!

Him, stroking deeply: So tell me more about breakfast.

Me, attempting to talk around coming: There’ll be eggs.

Him, a very model of self-control: Eggs are good.

Me, finding it hard to think and orgasm: And…biscuits? And juice? And milk?

Him, slowing down, stroking less deeply: Anything else?

Me, casting about for the right answer: Bacon! We’ll have bacon!

Him, speeding up: Mmmmm tell me about this bacon.

Me: Oh baby. It’ll be salty, and smokey, and delicious…

Him, thrusting deeper: And crunchy?

Me: No baby, I know how you like it. Limp. Barely cooked.

Him: We need to stop talking about this.

Me: What, sex and bacon don’t mix?

Him: Not so much, no.

Posted by: aag

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Responses

Oh, but no one can deny the goodness of bacon. Not even as pillow talk.

By: ms.inconspicuous on October 8th, 2008
at 12:24 am

i can hear the voice of Homer Simpson in my head:

“Mmmmmm….baaacon sex…”

By: Roxy on October 8th, 2008
at 12:51 am

Heeee. I can think of a few men I know that would probably be even MORE ready for sex if bacon was added to the mix.

By: distracted on October 8th, 2008
at 1:57 am

Haha. A whole new kind of talking dirty.

And hey, food talk totally gets some people off. Just apparently not your person.

By: Britni on October 8th, 2008
at 2:13 am

bacon is good.

By: ang on October 8th, 2008
at 2:29 am

ha ha i had a similar experience, my bf and i were halfway through fucking and i decided i should ask him if we could have crumpets for breakfast…he wasnt very impressed lol, a little bit funny tho!
xx

By: T on October 8th, 2008
at 4:37 am

LoL. I can see that he wouldn’t want to think of things that are limp just at that moment :-)

By: lapisruber on October 8th, 2008
at 9:37 am

Bacon goes good with everything. Your cardinal sin there was using the word “limp” while fucking.

By: Rupert on October 8th, 2008
at 9:37 am

Ooooo! Food porn!

By: Omnipotent Poobah on October 8th, 2008
at 10:16 am

Hah. I remember working up a grocery list together while my sexy bitch wife and I were going at it sooooo hard!

It leads to less comulsive buying.

By: K4Pacific on October 8th, 2008
at 10:20 am

Who says bacon and sex don’t mix???? LOL

By: kc_bkwrm on October 8th, 2008
at 10:21 am

I agree, they don’t mix. Although they are both divine….

By: Sticky on October 8th, 2008
at 11:42 am

I always thought smoky bacon as a perfume would catch more lovers than ‘Joy’. Also, imagine the strategic placement of bacon drippings during foreplay? Cheers!

By: Ben on October 8th, 2008
at 8:59 pm

Every time I hear the word bacon I think of Beggin Strips and that dog going ITS BACON!!!! :)

By: Beautiful Dreamer on October 8th, 2008
at 9:13 pm

Nimue and I generally don’t take advantage of hotel breakfasts.

We find that we are too busy with each other to even discuss the subject.

By: Merlin on October 8th, 2008
at 10:50 pm

Lmao! I actually giggled out loud once I hit the end of that. Poor guy, lol.

By: Caracala on October 9th, 2008
at 12:04 am

Hilarious. Yes, it was definitely the reference to ‘limp’ rather than the food talk that was the problem. The image of you trying to talk logically while coming was very funny.

By: marianne on October 9th, 2008
at 11:12 pm