After weeks of working so hard that I barely had time to eat, shower or think independent thoughts, I’ve suddenly found myself out of a job.
It’s an odd sensation. I’ve never before been let go from anything. How does one get to be nearly forty without having been fired? Hard work, maybe? Dumb luck? I’m not sure, but I’m now experiencing a strange sense both of peace and anger. I’ll say no more for now about the anger, but the peace? The peace rocks.
I’ve had time to pet my cats. A scattering of old nail holes in my walls, left empty for the past year, have now been filled, smoothed and painted over. I’ve begun sanding my poor damaged kitchen table with the goal of refinishing it the next time the children go to their dad’s house for the weekend.
And the children have had much more time with me. You’d think this would be a good thing, but their feelings seem to be mixed. “Don’t you have something you should be doing?” they seem to be thinking as I initiate another game of “run down the hall” or “catch the light-up ball.” They look at me, then to the computer, then back to me, as if they’d come to believe that it was a nearly permanent extension of my hands.
I took the time to do some shopping the other night — shopping in an actual store that exists in a building, not just in the swirling virtual realm where occasional ruthless brutality breaks out. “Can I help you?” I was asked repeatedly as I wandered the aisles. Hearing the words of adults was astounding. I felt like I’d stepped back into reality after weeks in spent in a self-imposed virtual prison.
Without this particular job I will be fine. Nature abhors a vacuum, as they say; I have other jobs, commissions and projects that will fill both my time and my checking account. And despite the anger (the anger I’m not talking about!) I feel over this sudden change in my fortunes, the overwhelming peace is welcome indeed.
oh my god. I’m so sorry that you lost your job. But I’m glad you have peace now. Peace is always good. =)
When peace comes out of a situation like this, it usually means you’re in the right place.
I’m glad you’re finding time to re-engage with the world.
Oh chica.. I am so sorry. Hang in there.
best wishes, and enjoy the eye of the storm
I want to say I’m really glad that you’ve found the light behind some clouds, but to tell you the truth, it’s kind of what i’ve come to expect from you and part of what keeps me coming back. :)
*hugs* and best of wishes!
I haven’t gotten over the Republican thing! And now this! ;)
Just remember: Evolution never closes a door without opening an aperture in an otherwise solid and opaque surface that allows the passage of light and, if not closed or sealed, air and sound.
xoxooo
I know what you are talking about! I have been recently, suddenly, out of work myself, and the biggest challenge has been clearing the mental hurtle and allowing myself to enjoy the time. I’m glad you’re able to do it.
Jobs come along every day. Better jobs, jobs that work better for us than other jobs.
Peace, however, is very hard to come by.
I am so glad you found peace.
Sorry to hear about the job. Good luck!
They call these things, “Blessings in disguise.”
Enjoy it, but don’t get used to it!
Congratulations AAG!!!
Freedom from weight you dont need to carry is fantastic.
I very much like that you are not focusing on the anger. I mean expressing ones anger is healthy, but it’s really refreshing to see your positivity (as always).
Once again, Congrats!!!
Ana
Trust me, the anger is very much there. I’m just not talking about it at the moment.
:)
Thank you all for the support, as usual.
Been there, done that, got the tee shirt.
In fact I found myself there for the second time in my life just last Monday.
This too shall pass.
Don’t let the anger get the upper hand.
Best regards.
Aah, don’t worry about it. You’ll get another. Enjoy that peace!
OK- I realize it’s weird to worry about someone I’ve never met- but I was honestly just wondering yesterday how your interesting collections of jobs would hold up in this economy. Does this have anything to do with your tweets?
Please tell me who I think let you go, actually let you go….
I wish you the best. I’m sorry about the loss, but you seem very resilient!
I just realized I totally meant to type, DIDN’T actually let you go. Sorry about that. I’d never wish or want someone to let you go….
Cheers to being an awesome responsible mom with her own financial safety net!
Enjoy the time!
Sorry to hear that you had the rug yanked out from under your feet…. The flip side is that hopefully this frees you up to find a better position that will be a bit more forgiving in its requirements.
When I was unceremoniously “let go” a few years ago, my mind seemed to disengage from the reality and watched the event in suspended disbelief. It actually took me a while for my mind to return from that disengagement–the peace, as you call it–and I could begin to deal with the anger and betrayal that I felt. I find your post eerily similar to my life and, even now, years later, it evokes remnants of my detached sense of betrayal. I must say that when the company almost when bankrupt a year later and the CEO was let go, the small part of me celebrated his unceremonious dumping by the Board of Directors with wine.
Indeed, this will pass, and I applaud your determination to take things one step at a time. And yes, you *are* awesome.
I still think you’re awesome, too.
You are awesome!!
Sorry about the firing.. BUT, enjoy the peace!
I wasn’t “let go” but was laid off when my division moved to Philadelphia. It changed my life and all the dynamics. And it took me and my friends (incl the former boss) a year to find out that a VP was blackballing me (for some unknown reason) from ever working there again. As an English major, there weren’t too many other places to look for work in town.
If I got another job there, I would still be married because complacency is sooooo easy. When I fell so madly in love with Sailor Boy last year, I was actually grateful for the fate. But when we broke up, it plagued me again. I try not to have built up resentment for this woman who decided my life. I truly believe I’m where I’m supposed to be. And you are, too. You will rise again.
I was let go from my job in January. I haven’t found another job, yet. However, I have never had so much peace and joy and contentment in my life as I have had this year. As an earlier commenter put it, the peace is a sure sign I am right where I ought to be. (That job was a hot mess, and I was looking for another, anyway.)
I am glad you are also at peace.
I just read in another blog that you’re no longer with Eden. Does that mean that you’re going to stop reviewing toys for them and pull all of your content from their site? I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve moved on but I know that there will be bigger and better things in store for you.
Yes, I will no longer be reviewing their things. I don’t believe it’s possible for me to remove my content from their site, however.
:)
But if you could, you’d rip it out forcefully, visciously, character by painful character?
Maybe through their nose?
I’m not quite that angry.
Yet.
:)
Fired? You can’t be fired! You quit!
Laid off maybe. Fired?
Hmmph. That’s awfully hard to imagine because you throw yourself into everything pretty totally from what I can tell. And that’s probably why you’ll be able to pick up something else readily if you want to. and then again, if you don’t have to, you can enjoy less stress!
But I think you should go ahead and be angry. Venting your spleen might be therapeutic. And good reading.
**smoooch**
D.
Wow. If they don’t want you, I don’t need them either. There is a whole world of toys out there. I feel your pain AAG – I was recently ripped from work I loved too. It will all be just fine. And man is it ever peaceful on the other side. (hugs)