If you're new to aagblog.com you should subscribe to my RSS feed here, or have new content delivered directly to your inbox here. Follow my Twitter updates here.
Through chance and strange happenstance, recently I found out that my friend (who for the sake of convenience we’ll call W) has an unusual fetish.
It’s something he’s never done before, but the fervent wish has warmed W’s mind (and other places too) for many years. W envisions this as an entirely consensual scene, don’t worry — but it is extreme. In first reading about this fantasy I felt a little squeamish. For that reason I’ll put the fantasy behind the cut.
But one person’s extreme is another person’s missionary-with-the-lights-off, so I’d like to share W’s fantasy with you. Perhaps, if the stars align correctly and the gods who control desire hear our ardent plea, we’ll find someone, somewhere, whose thoughts mesh well with W’s.
Click below to read exactly what W has in his pervy lil mind:
I’ll wait until my hand is all the way in your cunt, past the wrist. Until you’re snaking around on the bed, gripping onto me, and your right hand finds my left, interlacing your fingers with mine. I’ll hold you there on both my hands, slowly twisting each one, until my left one slips free of all your fingers except the pinkie.
I’ll pause here, twisting my other hand inside of you, watching as you ease into a state of helplessness. Then I will bend your finger back up into the air, onto the back of your hand, slowly, until you start to feel the pain of it. When you look at me with fear in your eyes, I’ll snap it back quickly, feeling you contract hysterically around me as your joint gives in.
Or maybe I’ll leave you fully clothed, come up behind you and do it fast. Maybe the only skin-on-skin contact we have will be my mouth on the back of your neck and my hand wrapped around your finger as I break it. Maybe your dick will get hard, or you’ll gush; maybe not.
One of the wonders of the internet age is that no matter what your interest, your difficulty, your hobby or your fetish, typing a single message in just the right spot can hook you up with dozens of folks from ’round the globe who are interested in the exact same thing.
It’s a miracle, really. It’s almost like magic.
So. Anyone share this interest? If so, comment below or send me an email. I’ll hook you up.
***Don’t even think about being derisive about W’s kink. I know that every one of you has in the deepest chasms of your black little hearts some similarly perverse wishes. Maybe you’ll even share them below. ***
well i haven’t read all these responses & maybe you just chucked this one in to get a reaction (Why does this seem NOT ok when the exploration of so many other fetishes are? I don’t have the answer to that, but it’s made me think.
:))but this one should stay in the box marked fantasy. haven’t noticed that your big time inta pain so pursuing this one with you, while permission may be given, would not be consensual, as in i’m getting off on the complement of what your getting off on. getting off on what somebody is NOT getting off on = one sick fucker. one response i did read ted, the fighting one, spent some part of my youth stalking and brawling with skinheads, fairly consensual activity there, no-one seemed to be getting off when i kicked the shit out of them, and i didn’t get off when they laid my arm open…
The comments about not wanting to read your blog anymore or this possibly causing your blog to “jump the shark” make me kind of angry. You write about sex and everything that goes along with it. This happens to be a fantasy/fetish that someone has shared with you, and you wanted to talk about it and gauge reactions.
While I understand someone feeling repulsed upon reading it (and that is their prerogative; to each his own), I don’t see the point in being so offended that they wouldn’t come back. If THAT offends them to that level, I would wonder how many other things that you have written have had a similar effect on them. I think that most of your writing is outside the realm of what many people consider acceptable.
I guess it’s not that I don’t understand someone not agreeing with/sharing in/being okay with W’s fantasy, but the fact that their reaction is so extreme that they would consider never coming back to your blog is what baffles me.
Maybe I’m reading into it too much.
It’s a great fantasy. It’s such a small simple elegant thing condensed from a larger world of general torture. I envision this fantasy, then I compare it to the “hitting you over the head with the big literary hammer” scenes that the Marquis de Sade used so often in his writing and I find favor with it.
It’s a great thread, not the least because it exposes so clearly how quickly even people accustomed to kink can become knee-jerk judgmental about something that pushes their squick buttons, even just as a fantasy.
What I want to know is, does W enjoy watching the finger breaking scene in Blade Runner ….
I don’t understand how people who read this blog can think that his fantasy is wrong or disturbed or whatever adjectives have been used. It’s the same kind of judgmental thinking that many many people would say of lots of women’s rape fantasies.
First, fantasy != want to do that exact thing in real life. I have fantasies that involve a lot of non-consensual acts. I have no desire to do more than imagine them in my head.
Second, I’m guessing that some that are being derisive, don’t have a problem with more common kinks — spanking, bondage, inverted spanking and bondage together, etc. Is it the long-term effect of the broken bone? What about people who do scarring or, hell, get a tattoo of their lover’s name?
Third, as has been mentioned, SSC isn’t always truly the first S. Almost nothing is completely 100% safe. And whether or not it’s sane, IMO, isn’t much different than the consensual part. I think the majority of people don’t think *fisting* is sane.
Anyway, I can see the appeal of the fantasy, just couldn’t participate myself. As soon as I’m no longer turned on, I’m a super-baby about pain. So, anything that lasts more than a short time post-sex, I would be unhappy about.
That is just too weird. It is kind of like the pathology where people want to cut off body parts. (Their own) That is just too fucking wierd and I have some kind-of-psycho fetishes of my own.
Run away.
I’ve fantasized about some pretty weird shit before, but never (ever!) have I ever thought of inflicting permanent damage on a person for erotic pleasure.
Vengeance, well, yes, who does not have a person they would like to see tar & feathered then run out of town on a rail, etc.?
If the finger breaking turns this person on so much, what’s to say that it won’t take something more extreme the next time?
Run away.
“If the finger breaking turns this person on so much, what’s to say that it won’t take something more extreme the next time?”
But what’s to say that it will?
You can’t predict what’s going to happen afterwards–you can guess at it, but not know for certain.
After having found a consenting partner, there’s a number of things W could find afterwards–W could find that it actually wasn’t as good as the fantasy, he could find that it WAS as good as the fantasy, and he could find that it was better than the fantasy. From there, he may or may not become interested in other things, but the point is that he would always have a consenting partner.
Say you consent to having your finger broken. It doesn’t mean that you have to consent to anything else at any time, so whether or not W is interested in something more “extreme” next time isn’t all that relevant.
Personally, I’m not at all concerned with someone who is a) upfront about their fetishes/fantasies, and b) actively seeking a consensual partner. That means that I can easily limit my involvement (if I’m not interested) by saying “No thanks”.
While I don’t think that this sort of fantasy is “wrong” in an “You should be locked up in a mental institution way!”, like other commenters I would have to express strong reservations at the infliction of long-term, permanent or semi-permanent harm.
Fingers and other body parts may not set correctly no matter what you do; unless you have a doctor standing by to immediately set the finger properly (chances are most doctors would probably *not* be okay with this), the damage could easily be permanent.
While you are brave for sharing your fantasy, it may be best to consign this to the world OF fantasy, in a similar way that an amputation fantasy may be best there as well.
(By amputation fantasy I mean a fantasy involving someone amputating another’s various parts, not “being involved with a partner who has had an amputation in the past for medical reasons”. Just uh…so no one yells at me for the wrong reason *duck!*)
So yeah, not my thing. But I’m pretty shocked by the people who are so repulsed by this. There are literally hundreds of activities people willingly participate in that have broken bones as a very real consequence. Since I’m an avid Essin’ Em reader, I’ll use roller derby as an example. A break in a tiny, worthless appendage as a sexual side effect? Not that big of a deal.
And this is coming from someone who’s most extreme fantasies involve a little bit of hair pulling and some candle wax.
I think that if he starts looking for a nonconsensual partner, not that I presume this is in any way a given, there would be cause to be skeeved out.
If you can’t find someone willing to do this, I bet you could role play it pretty convincingly with the help of a crisp carrot stick. Just a thought.
Hey Wanda! Nice to “meet” you.
I’d like to say a few more things.
a) I’ve played with W. He’s a fuck ton better at the after care and processing than 95% of the people I’ve been with. He’s also very respectful of hard limits. So for anyone who thinks this is just about an abusive type situation, it’s not.
b) I can say fairly certainly that W would screen whoever seemed interested to make sure it wasn’t a self-mutilation type things, but someone who was actually into pain. He said something like this earlier.
c) W knows the difference between consensual kink and abuse. I know, because I met a girl the other day is actually quite crazy and dangerous, but I was somewhat contemplating sex with her. He told me to be careful, and probably stay away, as she is abusive.
d) Holy crap. There are so many other more permanent and painful things out there. Fingerbreaking falls towards the more extreme end, but it’s the most. As people have pointed out, cuttings, tattoos and scarifications are permanent, and can have infections and other consequences. Hell, I have marks from bruises in May that have not yet fade, and are still slightly raised on my ass. A single tail, misused, can KILL SOME ONE. Breath play, CAN KILL SOME ONE. Non-kink wise, how about people who do extreme sports (or not as extreme, like Wanda pointed out with roller derby). If you just think of this as the X-Games of Kink, rather than your average BDSMer, then it seems (to me), like less of an “OH EMM GEEEEEEE” situation.
As my friend tonight pointed out “there are so many types of fetishes on all sorts of extremes…so what’s the big deal?” People are feeders and eaters and grow to hundreds of pounds. People put giant hooks through their backs and pull things, etc.
Plus, everyone does things that others find skeevy. Stick needles in my back, sure, but if an XY guy ever ejaculated on me (pearl necklace, facial, what have you), I’d probably need therapy. What’s that saying about people in glass houses…?
Have I told you lately that I love you?
:)
–aag
EE-
Aw, shucks. Your comment=big grin on my face.
Also, cuttings don’t have to be permanent (I now have verification on this from medical professionals). Though in light of your semi-permanent bruises, I think they might always be on you… ;)
Hmm…its hard to comment without being judgmental. There’s a difference between being a sadist and being a psychopath. When it comes to breaking bones and doing permanent harm. And once you start down a road of “anything goes” why stop at breaking fingers? Let’s move on to breaking legs and knee caps. Why not crack some ribs while we’re at it?
There’s always this hesitation to resist saying that something or some kink is not ok. But somewhere one has to draw a line I think.
As open minded as I like to think I am the use of the word “snap” in association with bones makes bile rise in my throat. Still, there are more bodily dangerous fantasies that could be realised…
http://www.mukiskitchen.com/free1.html
Have you folks heard about the Slippery Slope Fallacy? Perhaps some of you should read up on it:
Ell: That’s … wow. :)
I had a lover who was very big and strong, and my wrists are very slender. I loved when he would grip my wrist hard, and I would try and struggle out of his vice-like grasp.
One time I told him, “Don’t break my wrist!”
He growled, “Fuck that, I’m not done until I see BONE.”
But, um, he was joking.
Wow, are you sure that wasn’t me, Beautiful? It, um, kind of sounds like me.
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but Karl will never harm me.”
I’m convinced that it is possible for the human mind to eroticize ANYTHING.
Pavolv’s dog. Orgasm, and fill-in-the-blank, dog now salivates to fill-in-the-blank.
I would be up for it until the breaking part (plus, I’m hypermobile, so my fingers bend really far back towards my hand anyway). Given that I passed out when I broke my toe early this summer, and that I continue to have some pain to this day, I just don’t think I would do well with a broken bone.
W, best of luck to you finding someone who’ll go all the way for you. I don’t think you’re gross or skeevy, that a slippery slope applies, or anything of the sort. I’m impressed you were able to articulate this, mostly!
Wow. This seems to be quite the thread of comments. I find that I have more to say than I’d imagined.
First, I have some pretty…errr…interesting fantasies. Many of them I’ve played out, and would probably squick a lot of the commenters here. Others, I’d want to, but can’t find a way to do with any measure of safety. After thinking about this one for a while, it would be very difficult for W to do this without mitigating the risks involved.
I have broken my ring finger in this manner. (Errr, I mean accidentally. I fell and it got bent back to my wrist.) I ended up with a hairline fracture, barely visible. It didn’t hurt so much until it got swollen, didn’t require setting, and required wearing a brace constantly for six weeks. I’d say that’s the best case result to this. It could obviously require surgery, a cast, physical therapy, and a permanent injury causing lifelong pain and loss of movement.
I have no idea how you would control which joint or bone would be stressed to breaking. Certainly, I’m no medical expert. I’d wonder if you could find a medical expert, with a specialty of treating such injuries, who would discuss it with you in depth ahead of time, and possibly give you guidance as to how to reduce harm in this circumstance. (I have no idea if W knows such a professional personally.) It might be possible, but I am guessing though that there isn’t much way to reduce these risks. It is my understanding that if expecting an injury, the “victim” will often tense, making this even more complicated.
There is one thing about tihs fantasy that leads me to believe that W hasn’t thought though the aftercare to this very well. (In spite of him sounding like an otherwise nice thoughtful guy.) In his fantasy, he breaks a finger on the right hand. If one knows anything about the difficulty of recovering from such a thing, one would never ever want to do such to the primary hand. It would make it impossible or extremely difficult to write or type for weeks. On a more permanent basis, one’s right pinky is much more heavily used in typing. (I’m sure it seems ironic that *that* it what seems like the craziest part of the idea.)
Consentual or not, it only seems prudent to cause as little harm as possible. And it scares me a bit that W hasn’t taken the time to think that through. This is not something which (even if it were my particular kink) I would consent to doing. But in particular, I wouldn’t even consider it with someone who was had not researched the consequences thoroughly. I regret having to say that.
~ MS
P.S. To all of you people who favored RACK over SSC: You might be really interested to read david stein’s essay discussing his intent when coining the phrase, and it’s misinterpretation. (http://www.lthredge.com/ds/ssc.pdf) It’s a fabulous read.
Misc. Sex – Thanks for your thoughtful response. Interesting note about the hand choice; I’m actually left-handed, which is how the right hand came about in the fantasy. It was an instinctive choice on my part to go for the less-used hand, but it’s a choice that would be dependent on my bottom.
That would be one thing discussed ahead of time, as would consultation with a medical professional about technique, harm reduction, etc. I actually know a number of medical people in the scene with whom I could consult about this, should the opportunity ever arise. Those facts were not written into the fantasy posted here simply because it is that: a fantasy posted here, not the entire beginning-to-end process of the fantasy as it might play out in real life. This kind of activity is not something I’d ever consider doing without extensive forethought and planning along health/medical/aftercare lines AFTER already knowing someone willing to engage in it with me. The other person is, obviously, an integral part of that discussion.
That’s so interesting. Part of my judgement on that was because “everyone” fists with their primary hand…interesting.
But do take a look at the stein essay..it really is illuminating.
~ MS