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Pst.  My good pal Shay has moved to a brand spanking new address.  Go check her out!

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Not long ago, the makers of Ambrosia asked if I’d like to try out their product, a supplement meant to improve the taste of semen.  Does this mean that I have a reputation as a prodigious consumer of that creamy treat?  Oh my mother will be so proud!

Ambrosia consists of fruit and spice extracts compressed into a pill about the size of a multivitamin.  Men take two capsules per day; the company guarantees an improvement in the taste of ejaculate or they’ll refund 110% of your purchase price.

Sounds promising.

When I received my supply, I realized that one of the ingredients was strawberry, to which I am exquisitely allergic.  I’m a complete pussy about subjecting myself to something that has the potential to give me a huge case of hives (not to mention near-terminal crankiness) for weeks on end, so I divided up the supply between some jizz-loving pals and asked them to report back to me.

They did, with pleasure.  One confided that her partner’s taste was already pretty neutral.  She had no complaints prior to using Ambrosia, but she said that after using the product, his taste seemed sweeter and fruitier.  Nice.

Another tester told me that she’d long found the taste of her man’s sperm to be offensive.  He’s a heavy smoker and drinks a lot of coffee.  After trying Ambrosia, she found his orgasms to be just a bit less objectionable, though by no means delicious.

Given the results, someone who wants to sweeten the taste of oral sex might find Ambrosia worthwhile.

Or you can click below for some other possibilities:

1. Stop smoking.
2. Drink less coffee.
3. Get more exercise.
4. Eat less red meat.
5. Avoid asparagus, broccoli, garlic, cauliflower and Brussels sprouts.
6. Consume fewer dairy products.
7. Try this:

AAG’s Cum-Sweetening Smoothie

• 2 cups frozen sliced strawberries
• 1 cup pineapple juice
• 1 cup orange juice
• 1 ripe banana
• 1 teaspoon vanilla

Blend all ingredients until very smooth.  Pour into two glasses.  Share one with partner.  Drink immediately.  Repeat each night for best results.

For even more substantial results, blend in two shots of rum.  Serve on the porch.  While watching the sunset.  In Jamaica.

If you follow all these suggestions, the tastiness of your oral sex is (almost) guaranteed.