aag

Uh, it sounds TOTALLY unbelievable to me. Not that I’d know anything about that kind of thing either.

But I am happy to speculate on motive–perhaps he wants you to think he is the kind of livin’ on the edge guy you need–you know, daring, kind of a bad boy (but no Hugh Grant, of course), and so desirable a hooker jumps into his car and won’t leave . . .

Right.

Oh, and he had to mention how much the phone cost? I forgot to add, “unbelievably rich.” Unbelievably.

well let’see
1 - its all true or
2 - parts are true
3 - its all made up

Eliminate 3 because he lost his phone and has to replace it. That leaves 1 or 2.

If 1 - did the man seem a little slow? He wants you to think that he was driving through a “red light” district with his doors unlocked and NOT looking for business when a women just JUMPS into his car and won’t get out until he gives her a $20…not impossible but very unlikely.

That leaves 2 - his phone WAS stolen by a hooker but it was something that happened as she got dressed, he was cleaning up and she “left” without saying goodbye - as sometimes happens in the business.

ummmm - my money in on #2 - unless he struck you as totally street stupid.

$400 for a phone isn’t unbelievable rich. A decent blackberry costs more, as does an iPhone.

I dunno if he’s telling the truth or not, but I gotta wonder why someone would be driving through a red light district with their doors unlocked. Unless he was in a convertible.

That just shows at best a lack of safety sense. And at worst, an at least subconscious desire for a prostitute to enter his car.

That said, I’ve dated at least two men who told me they’d tried sex with a prostitute at some point (found this out after I’d dated them for a while, and it didn’t make me want to stop dating them). You might be surprised; some of your former (or present) lovers might have had this experience, but just haven’t mentioned it. In general men know this turns a lot of women off so they won’t mention it.

Still, something about this story reeks of sleaze. I don’t know why exactly.

If you are going to lie about it, why tell about the hooker at all? Just say you had it stolen in a bar, left it on a counter at the mall, whatever. I would just go with he is trying to spice up the real story, which is probably pretty mundane, or it is a true story. And I have used hookers in the past, in my younger, dumber, days. Can’t say I have not been tempted to once or twice now that I am older and wiser. when you are horny/lonely/desperate for human contact, it can be easy to forget that the woman more than likely is not doing something that she wants to do and give in to the fantasy that she is someone just making a living doing what she loves. Even the best of us can be pigs at times.

Yeah I think I tend to agree with JCnNowhereville….the whole set-up seems a little unlikely to me. Not that I’m an expert on these sorts of things, but yeah, seems a bit suss.

I’d have to wonder … if he’s making up any part of the story, why would he leave in the part about the hooker?

If he was in fact with a hooker, and he didn’t want you to know.. then why wouldn’t he just say that he left it somewhere, or flushed it down the toilet or whatever?

I’m thinking the less lies this guy has to tell you about what happened the better. A hooker got into his car. That part is true. A hooker stole his phone. That part is also true. The hooker stole his phone while she was blowing him. See, it just sounds better if he acts like he was a complete victim taken off guard at a red light, so then you can feel sorry for him.

And thats why I keep my car doors locked at all times. I don’t drive through many places this would happen, but I am still so paranoid I make Elliot Reed seem normal.

Here’s an idea.

Tell the less-than-truthful swain that you received a call, from his old his cell phone number, asking if you would care to contribute to the annual fundraiser for the Local [insert name of your town here] Homeless Shelter and Sex Worker Benefit Fund. When you asked the caller how she got your name, the caller replied that the swain provided it and, he is one of their most frequent contributors. ;-)

I’d say pass on this one, aag. The fact that he used the term hooker is one strike against him. I don’t know how he described the woman, but if it was disparagingly, I’d definitely say “no.” Was he lying about driving with the door unlocked when the woman got into his car? Probably, and you have to ask yourself why he is reluctant to admit that he uses the services of sex workers. If he lies about that, then will he lie when you ask if he had unprotected sex?

Just to be clear, I have no problem with a man or woman using the services of sex workers. My partner enjoyed their services and for a time was involved in a long-term relationship with one woman who was a sex worker. The fact that he treated her decently was one reason why I married him.

He lost his phone and consequently your number. Asking how he lost his phone is perfectly reasonable. “I left it somewhere/It was stolen out of my car/I set it down and can’t find it/I dropped it somewhere/I broke it” are all perfectly reasonable.

A hooker jumped into his car and refused to leave until he gave her $20 AND took his cell phone?

That’s a little far-fetched.

It doesn’t sound probable, but it doesn’t sound impossible either. I’ve known people to go through odder scenarios, and it is something that a tweaked-out hooker might do, at least around my neck of the woods.

It’s a great idea on the hooker’s part. She’s found a way of making money without having to have sex - proposition people that don’t want the service until they pay you to go away.

It works for really bad buskers.

sounds… unlikely at best. Maybe I’m just not the type of sexworker to jump into a random car… Couldn’t tell you why he was lying though.

Occam shakes his head in disbelief while sharpening his razor, I’d say

Okay, here’s my take for what it’s worth. The bottom line is, if this is enough of a red flag for you to write about it here, then yes, it is. You have more of a relationship with dude than we do and you’re the one who knows if it adds up or not. If something seems ‘just not right’, it probably isn’t. Trust your intuition - every time I haven’t, I’ve been dreadfully sorry later.

D

I would say bright red flag.

1) he used the services of a sex worker and lost his phone (maybe when she - uninvited - jumped into his car she landed on his penis). The services are less concerning than the storie he feels he needs to spin around it

or

2) It had nothing to do with a sex working and he feels this storey is better conveyed to a potential lover than the real one, also he is being dispariging

or

3) He is not bright enough to say - Its a really funny story that I will relate at a later time and place more suitable

A small red flag. Maybe part of it’s true, maybe it’s not at all true. The thing is, why lie about it? Then again, maybe he just has really horrible luck, but you’re not stupid. The fact that you even wrote about it speaks volumes.

Hee hee Rodrigo!

I’d definitely have some doubts about him. Why share that much, just say your phone was stolen out of your car. Seems to be trying too hard or loves to try and shake people up?

Wow.. I’m all for adventure.. but hookers jumping in and out of cars.. yep.. that would be a red flag..

besides the joy of hooker stories is always in the details.. and that story didn’t have enough detail for my taste!!

Hmm, seems too awkward not to be true. Id give it a yellow card, continue play, and see how it goes.

For me, the yellow card is not for the hooker or the theft, but for the random element. There are too many people with serious mental illnesses in my life at the moment, so close to me that i know both the names of their conditions and the medications they are on, and Im experiencing a bit of an aversion to the chaos they subject to. Ive grown wary of the crazymakers….

I really don’t see a prostitute just jumping into some guy’s car uninvited. I just don’t.

The story does seem odd but I can’t believe why that would be the lie that someone would make up. If he had some reason to hide from you how he lost his phone he could have said, “I don’t know, I just set it down somewhere and have never been able to track it down,” or something equally benign.

Still a strange story.

It’s not all that unbelievable actually. People have been known to jump into cars. And you always think you’re safe when you’re not. I’d be glad she didn’t go at him with a knife after he told her no. And it’s not weird to think a hooker might steal a phone to make up for the lack of payment.

May I suggest that the story is so bad that is has to be true? I mean, if a hooker stole his phone, it is so much easier to say he lost it and he doesn’t look like a guy who uses hookers. Any story involving hookers doesn’t cast him in a positive light, so I am leaning towards it was true.

You know, the exact same thing happened to me the other day. I was driving through Small Town, Texas, totally minding my own business, when a rural redneck prostitute leaped into my shiny little Volkswagen.

Imagine my surprise! Imagine my dismay when she said she wouldn’t exit my car until I gave her some money! As I was scrounging for change, she reprogrammed all my radio stations to Christian Country, stole my chapstik, told me that Obama was a Muslim and she was voting for Bush, heh, again, and was extremely critical of the dog hair on my dashboard.

The nerve of some prostitutes! At least she didn’t get my cell phone; a UFO stole it last week.

That’s crazy story! Who makes up a story like that? It’s gotta be true.

Ok, admit it, aag. This was one of those kinds of Rorschach Ink Blot questions, wasn’t it? You wanted to know what your readers thought about sex workers. tricky tricky.

;-)

always trust your instincts, girl. if you have any doubts about him and his integrity, run far far away. i speak from experience. in fact, i just posted on my blog about something that happened to me last week where i didn’t trust my instincts and it really could have turned out BAD!! protect yourself at all costs (unless, of course, it doesn’t bother you that he could be hooker hopping - although, it seems, your questioning indicates that it does) xo~sadie

Bottom line, who cares about the why’s where’s and what for’s? The guy got himself phone-jacked while he was giving in to emotional blackmail. He’s an ass, lose him…. unless, of course, he is a broadminded missionary with 8″ girth and a great sense of humour. ;-)

I call bullshit. That’s all I have to say.

(p.s. Nothing agains sex workers… at all. The problem in this case is if he’s lying. Because if he feels the need to lie about something as silly as this then he will lie about more important things - which could bring you harm in the long run)

What we (commenters) think is irrelevant. We don’t know the guy and no matter how much we analyze the story, it means nothing without knowing him. We’re all guessing.

Trust your feelings. If you’re ambivalent, then I advise caution - because that’s the no-brainer, safest advice.

It does seem odd, but then, sometimes true stories are the oddest ones you hear. So much for Occam’s Razor..

Odd? Yes. Unlikely? Yes. Unusual? Yes.

I’d stick with Occam’s Razor.

It’s an odd and unusual person who would make up a story like that. It’s maybe an odder and more unusual person who that would happen to.

If you see him further, get used to it. It’s been my experience that people who tell stories like that continue telling stories like that, continue having odd, unlikely, unusual things like that happening to them.

This exact thing with my significant other last year. He was in Asia and he told me that he was drunk, she blew him, then asked for money. I periodically go through the same thought process as everyone here is and apply Occam’s Razor but it never fits. But then it makes no sense why he would would he tell me? Unless he’s telling part of the story to alleviate part of his own guilt over it? But that’s so many layers of just weird.

Ultimately, I trust my gut. My gut tells me that he’s not the type of person to do this. If I’m wrong, then I’d rather be known as the fool who trusts people than as the fool who ends something good because she can’t trust people.

(Which isn’t to say that you’d be a fool if you ended something good. Dear god I can’t believe I made it sound like that. From my perspective on my situation, that’s how I felt my choices were laid out before me: I have to make a decision and what would be worse for me if I’m wrong. You’re the best judge of what your own options are and what you should do.)

If it were I…

I would see the bloke again, but I would laugh his original story off and ask how it really happened.

If he insists, then perhaps it’s true. If he relents then you know he can come up with outrageous explanations for missing phones.

In either case, trust (I almost wrote thrust 0_o) your instincts!

First off, he’s lying. Hookers don’t do that. I’ve never had one hop into my car, invited or otherwise. And I work in a prime neighborhood for them, so they’ve had opportunity.

But if it DID happen, that’s when he SHOULD lie and tell you a completely different story, because this one is so fucking weird. Stay away from this guy. He has bad judgment either way.

Instead, might I introduce you to a nice fellow named Riff Dog . . .

Okay AAG, you have seen me take the conservative position more often than not lately, but not this time. I agree with everyone who says that the story is so crazy that it has to be true! You cannot make up stories that are good as the actual TRUE stories that some of my friends have. I would never in a million years have believed some of them had I not been present for some of them.

Now, that is only a comment about this story of his.

I have decided not to see a woman again because I did not like a subtle body language change when a subject that we did not agree on came under discussion. Her words were carefully and diplomatically chosen, but her posture and countenance gave it away.

The point is that I personally believe the story to be too random and outlandish to be false, but there may very well be valid reasons to discontinue seeing him.

I haven’t read all the comments - but I have been a loyal reader/lurker for years now… I just read your entry - my brother is a truck driver and he has told me crazy stories about “lot lizards” and the reading of “papertowels” or “hankies” on top of that I dated a trucker that has said the same thing - these “lot lizards” or whatever they may be - walk the truck parking lots and if the door isn’t locked they jump in and do whatever. I am not validating anyones stories or such - but having dated a trucker and having a brother as a trucker and picking them up in parking lots - well there is a lot of “women of the night ” lurking there. My brother and my ex (who I am still great friends with) have told stories of these women that jump into trucks and steal - they are tired and sometimes they forget to LOCK UP or TURN OFF… also I did not believe a word of the “papertowel or hankie” business - but drive through a truck stop - its pretty gross…. on that note - truckers ( my bro and my ex) really aren’t anyone to pursue unless you just want one night stands or what I consider “fucks on schedule” they come in fuck you silly and leave…. nuff said

Aag, I am not that impressed by a guy who takes you to a truck stop in the first place, nice as it may be. Then to come up with a crazy story to explain why he hasn’t called…. I think it is unfortunate he told you this via text message, because you have no visual clues as to whether he is lying, and cannot get a feel for the story as he tells it. I would give him another face to face, but be in inspection mode as to whether you pick up a creepy liar vibe, or if he still seems cool. Plus then you can re-evaluate whether your chemistry is worth the possible drama and/ or chaos he may bring into your life.

I read this to my husband and he said “That’s too damn crazy and random to NOT be true!”

I’m still on the fence about it, however. It is a really really random story, but then again, this sent warning bells off in my brain.

Be careful! Hopefully he doesn’t have dead hookers in his past!

Okay, is he a liar or not? Maybe, possibly, probably. But really, do you care?

Me personally, I’d rather hear an entertaining but harmless lie than a boring truth any day. Truth is relative, anyway. What’s fun and attractive are stories, and sometimes you have to exaggerate a little to make it work.

I mean, you’re thinking about fucking this guy, not having his babies n shit. You have other guys who fulfill a confidant role. If he’s fun and attractive, go for it. If you find you can’t trust him, don’t trust him. Doesn’t mean you can’t both have your fun together. If his lying becomes malevolent at any point, just drop his ass and be done with it.

I mean, it’s neat and all to make trust this big thing, but does it REALLY matter for someone whose role in your life is largely going to be a walking, talking, entertaining pet penis? The notion that a liar is a liar is a liar is flawed emotionalism rooted in institutional monogamy. I mean, how much trust do you really need to have with this guy? He’s just someone you want to fuck, or might fuck, and maybe go out to eat every now and again, or to some event or whatever.

So, who cares if he was lying? The real question is if he’s entertaining enough to be an enjoyable date for an evening. Proceed until he’s no longer intriguing and don’t sweat the small stuff. You’re not planning your life around this guy, so that other crap is really largely irrelevant. Is he fun?

Bullshit.

Hookers don’t just jump into cars, least not anywhere I’ve lived..

What if you’re a cop? Even crackhead street ho’s aren’t that stupid.

Some can be really aggressive with the come-ons, but you have to stop, roll down the window, and chat with them first….

I think I’d be worried about the next thing that would “just happen to him” I’d call it a flag, but not a foul. Then see him again and see if the outlandish tales are common or not. I don’t want a lot of drama in my life, so I’d definitely look out for it.

And I had breakfast at the bowling alley the other day. it has really good food. I’d trust your truck stop if you vouch for it.

Obviously it is a red flag for you, so yeah think about it.

Nonetheless, while driving through a town near me in the older “downtown” section, I have twice had hookers/streetwalkers/whathaveyou try to get in my car when stopped at stop signs or red lights.

I mean like grab the handle and jerk at it, while hollaring in my window “hey let me in I can mumble mumble”, trying the handle of the backdoor on that side, beating on the side of the car as I pulled away (me going “OH. MY. GOD”.)

So all he has to do to be telling the truth is not have his door locked. Just because it hasn’t happened to x responders who are incredulous thereby doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.

If it happened “near his home” and he lives in a not so great area with known streetwalkers, /shrug. And it’s not so much about being a “hooker” who does this (I suspect) as being a junkie who needs a fix.

It’s so much easier to invent a different kind of lie if he was going to do so. Occam’s razor thereby suggests that this is truth.

If it were me, and I were inclined to lie about what happened to the phone, I’d leave the hooker out completely.

ha ha ha ha ha haaaa! whether the story is true or not, homeboy can spin quite the yarn, eh? i’d almost wanna keep him around for the tall tales. nothing like a good ole fashioned hooker shenanigan!

this entire story/comment thread reminds me of one of my favorite bands in the world, Truckstop Honeymoon (also the title of one of their songs/albums–you might be able to hear samples on their myspace page). AAG, ya gotta check ‘em out: http://www.mikewest.net/truckstop_honeymoon/bio/index.htm

i know, random. truckstop stories crack me up too. thanks for the chuckle. and don’t let him fleece ya!

His story is bullshit.

I’m not gonna stand up for the guy.. especially since he clearly had no sensitivity to your feelings… He could have found some other way to describe how he lost his phone…

But, there is a slim possibility that his story is true… I live about 10 miles from a giant truck stop, and the local news has stories all the time about hookers being picked up by the police at the truck stop… and half the time, they are picked up for stealing, and not just for soliciting.. so, the guy could have been totally minding his own business, and still his story has at least some percent chance to be true- you did say he is a trucker, right?

Sydney, Australia. Giving my work-mates, all gay, a lift home from work in my van. As they jumped out the back door, a clearly addicted to heroin young lady of the night jumps in the front & dives for my groin. Vast amusement from my friends- at least they helped me get her out of the van before they went away, & no, nothing got stolen.
Darlinghurst- a most instructive place to live work & play!

I think it was stolen by a hooker while she serviced him. He blurted out “It was stolen by a hooker” and then worried that it would turn you off to know he’d been with one. Thus, he made up some crazy ass story. Stupid but not horrendous. However, EVERYTHING is a red-flag for me with people I may end up sleeping with. So, yeah, just be honest. So you slept with a hooker. Ok… either I’m ok with it and we’ll carry on our merry way or I’m not and we’ll carry on separately. I don’t like people who go to lying first.

Poor guy’s got terrible judgment if he thinks that story’s going to do him any good (doesn’t matter whether it’s true).
It’s a little like when someone sends you a picture of themselves and it’s a bit horrible. You have to remind yourself that they think it’s a GOOD picture of them.

My take on this story is it probably is mostly true except the hooker jumping in the car. She was probably invited in. She stole his phone while she was blowing him and he had his eyes closed. She wouldn’t get out until she got her money.

I used to date one of the biggest liars on the planet. With his stories he’d stick to the truth for the most part and change a couple major details. That way it’s easier to remember one or 2 lies instead of a whole made up story. Such a crazo.

Go with your gut instinct with this one aag.

I do wonder why he’d bother to even mention the sex worker, if that aspect of the story were untrue. My gut tells me that they had some kind of disagreement, and she took his phone in retaliation. It would make sense for him to bring it up in that case, because he’d probably be feeling the need to vindicate himself in the eyes of a friend.

As for Occam’s razor, it may apply much better to scientific theories than human behavior. The latter are notoriously strange and unpredictable. :)

While the story wreaks of strange motivations on his part, for your response to it, there’s always this…

http://xkcd.com/458/

Is it a red flag? I think you are smart enough to be safe and now your awareness is up. The real question is, will your life be enriched by adding him to it, it sounds like it already has!

well… it does seem like an odd thing.. but if he is telling the truth.. that is damn funny.. if he is making it up.. he is a good story teller… :)

it seems almost too odd to not be the truth to me…