aag

28th Jul, 2008

One Way To His Heart

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There are many lovely ways to win a partner’s affection. Intelligence, wit, compassion and killer blowjob technique have generally provided excellent results for me, but I’m always on the lookout for new tricks to add to my repertoire.

Recently I’ve found one. It’s an approach so radical, so perverse, so frankly revolutionary that I must place it after the cut to avoid offending the delicate sensibilities of any squeamish readers.

My newest seduction strategy is cheesecake:

AAG’s Lascivious Lime Cheesecake

32 ounces cream cheese, softened in microwave
4 eggs
1 1/4 cup sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
juice and zest from 3 limes
16 ounces Pecan Sandies or other shortbread cookie, thoroughly crushed

Before lover arrives, apply non-stick cooking spray to bottom and sides of springform pan. Place crushed cookies in pan; press down thoroughly. Place pan on large cookie sheet to contain drips.

In blender, combine eggs and sugar. Add cream cheese in four increments, blending completely after each addition. Add vanilla, lime juice and zest.

Pour slowly (over a spoon) onto crust. Tap cookie sheet gently on counter to bring up air bubbles.

Bake at 325 for approximately one hour. Use time to shower, shave, and put on something naughty.

Race downstairs, remove from oven when center of cake feels slightly firm to the touch.

Receive lover into house. Cool cake on counter during first round of fucking. Enjoy praises on the delicious fragrance from the kitchen.

Break away briefly to place cake in ‘fridge. Fuck more until cake is thoroughly chilled.

Put on bare minimum of clothes at midnight. Cut large chunks of cheesecake. Take to dark porch. Eat cheesecake, talking quietly over bedroom adventures. Sigh contentedly over great sex and delicious cheesecake.

Go back to bedroom for more lurve before dropping from exhaustion.

Wake in morning, tired and sore. Eat cheesecake for breakfast.

Be happy and contented for rest of day.

Posted by: aag

Categories:

Responses

Works for me… now I need to go find the wife to cool off…

pant pant

By: Bob on July 28th, 2008
at 12:06 am

Is there anything better in this world than a day full of fucking and cheesecake?

I’m thinking no.

By: Rox on July 28th, 2008
at 12:23 am

Simply wonderful!

By: Dora on July 28th, 2008
at 12:35 am

oooh, I want some of that.

By: Laken on July 28th, 2008
at 12:43 am

Damn. Not the type of cheesecake I was hoping for. :-)

By: Rupert on July 28th, 2008
at 1:03 am

excellent culinary post! i am suddenly craving this delightful delicacy, though I’m not a huge cheescake fan.

But I can change.

Dave

By: Dave on July 28th, 2008
at 1:41 am

Omg, that is so evil. I’ve been craving key lime cheesecake for a couple weeks now, and you just had to post a recipe which means I might just have to make it! Yum!

By: Scarlet Lotus Sexgeek on July 28th, 2008
at 2:09 am

You were right to place this after the cut.
Scarlet Lotus is right it is evil.
Not only does the recipe violate federal law,
but the method of application also is one
that will deprive any partner of the ability to
make informed consent to any future relationship.
For the sake of men everywhere please remove
this post now.

By: dennis on July 28th, 2008
at 3:23 am

Why is that the best recipes always come from sex blogs? :)

By: Molly Ren on July 28th, 2008
at 5:07 am

what’s your alternate recipe if the man you lust after is not into sweets?

By: vladriana on July 28th, 2008
at 6:01 am

I favor dark chocolate mouse and pouring cream.
I am going to have to try this though.
Thank you.

By: jb on July 28th, 2008
at 6:49 am

Oooh, gimme some of the Lurve….I mean cheesecake. Yummo

By: OMG on July 28th, 2008
at 7:54 am

If not into sweets, perhaps a sun-dried tomato, spinach and goat cheese pie?

By: Rodrigo on July 28th, 2008
at 10:29 am

Oooh - we did this…only it was a chocolate cheesecake and there were four of us eating, not two :)

I highly recommend it as well!

By: Randi on July 28th, 2008
at 1:27 pm

Thanks for sharing the recipe! I’m trying it as soon as I can:)

By: the little sister on July 28th, 2008
at 1:49 pm

Wonderful. (Is the shaving discretionary?)

By: Gordie on July 28th, 2008
at 3:09 pm

Sweet! My friend makes a cheesecake with amaretto flavoring in the cheese and crushed ginger snaps for the crust.
Now I want to make cheesecake.

By: Sharon on July 28th, 2008
at 4:30 pm

This was great!!!!

I love cheesecake, now more!

By: property on July 28th, 2008
at 7:58 pm

Yes, that would definitely work for me!

By: Riff Dog on July 28th, 2008
at 9:50 pm

This is classic. You should write copy for the Cheesecake Factory. You just sold about 200 cheesecakes based on your writing. You’ve even got people who don’t even LIKE cheesecake wanting cheesecake.

So maybe that’s your killer idea:
1. Open up a bakery selling sinfully good deserts.
2. Write ads and stories utilizing them in sexy scenario (like only you can).
3. Reap the bountiful profits!

As for me, I love cheesecake so I’d have bought one anyway. As it is….. go ahead and put me down for three!

By: Matt on July 28th, 2008
at 10:46 pm

Now accepting orders.

What shall I charge per cake?

:)

By: aag on July 28th, 2008
at 10:58 pm

May I kindly suggest the following:
http://www.elise.com/recipes/archives/001979caramel_sauce.php

I used it on fruit and it was great! It says you can add more cream to make it less hard at room temperature. Just remember to cool it off before pouring it on lovers. Boiling sugar is hotter than water by far.

By: Lilly on July 29th, 2008
at 3:07 am

A great recipe…and you would make the perfect serving dish for it…

By: Torn Shorts on July 29th, 2008
at 10:22 pm

i should have cooked it a little longer than an hour, and i could have done with a little less zest, but overall, it’s delicious. and, truly, there is nothing like cheesecake to get you in the mood. and there’s nothing like sex to work off cheesecake calories… ;)

By: sherb on July 30th, 2008
at 11:31 am

You made it? Really? Kewl!

By: aag on July 30th, 2008
at 11:33 am

I bake all the time for lovers. They’re always amazed at how I can concoct something so delicious and the praise I get for it is overwhelming. Lately it’s been brownies and bread pudding, but cheesecake will be next on the list.

By: The Slutty Duckling on July 31st, 2008
at 8:11 pm