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“Hm,” I thought to myself the other day, reclining in bed while availing myself to the services of my trusty Hitachi. “Hm. I must be losing sensitivity. This doesn’t seem quite so strong as it’s been in the past.”
I examined the switch. Yes, it was on full blast. I peered at the variable speed controller. It was also on the highest setting. I clicked through the other settings. They were even less enthusiastic than the one I was using.
It made me come, but it wasn’t the usual thrashing-screaming-gushing-feeling-lobotomized-afterward experience the Hitachi usually gives me. Frustrated, I dangled the thing over the bed by its cord and let it buzz without the impediment of juicy labia.
For a few seconds it buzzed consistently, but then it began to cough. Then it sputtered, then it skipped, and within moments it unceremoniously died.
Sex toys die, I get that. They die just when you need them most, which of course makes sense as that’s when they are most stressed. No stress on a vibe when it’s hanging out in the sock drawer, that’s for sure.
But here’s the thing. This is the second Hitachi I’ve exhausted this year. Let me rephrase. It’s the second Hitachi I’ve broken in 2008. I’ve killed two of the most powerful vibes in existence in the space of a scant six months.
Should I be alarmed? Should I worry that I’m getting off too much?
And if I someday find myself in need of a masturbatory intervention, who will offer to round up an intervening team?
Please advise.



