25th Jun, 2008

How to Make the Mommy Blush

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“What questions do you have right now, honey?”

“I don’t have any questions.”

*Child pauses.*

“Ok, I have a question.”

“Shoot.”

“That picture in the book?  The one of the mommy and daddy…cuddling?”

“Where they are having sex?  Or making love?”

“Yeah, that one.”

“What about it, baby?”

“The man was lying on top of the woman.  Wouldn’t he squish her like that?”

*Mommy pauses.*

“He’d be careful so he didn’t squish her, baby.  But there are ways that people can have sex other than with the man on top.”

“Oh, you mean like if the woman was on top?”

“Sure, honey.  That’s a possibility.”

*Child rolls over on bed.*

“Or like this, Mommy?  They could do it on their sides?”

*Mommy is momentarily taken aback.*

“Yes, they could make love on their sides, honey.”

*Child begins rolling around goofily, making weird faces and contorting all limbs.*

“Or like this, Mommy?  Or like this?  Or like this?”

*Mommy blushes, realizing her sweet child has unknowingly hit any number of actual sex positions in her little demonstration.*

“Baby, where are you coming up with these things?”

*Child giggles.*

“I just see them in my mind, Mommy.”

*Mommy is stunned, realizing that no matter how open-minded she might think she is, a discussion of how people have sex will always be shocking when it’s with her child.*

Responses

oh my

they say we get the children we deserve but geeze… or maybe that babies pick the parents they need…

you must have been dying inside…

sounds like she’s your daughter in spirit anyway …

i don’t know if i should laugh or hug you

Apparently, your apple fell from the tree and then bounced back up into one of the limbs.

Holy pre-adolescent awkward conversation Batman!

I’m not sure how I would handle THAT one.

I am familiar with the awkward ‘kid walks in on Mama and Daddy’ moment, but this one is new to me.

Good luck with that one.

and LOL to Rupert.

Awww…. so cute. Now there’s a moment you won’t forget anytime soon.

And you are an awesome mother. Congratulations!

i hope i can be as cool as you, when the time comes!

Oooooerrrr! Sounds like you’re in for years of this - good luck! :o)

er….child-parent sex talks are always awkward, no matter what end of it you’re on.

my parents recently came to visit me, and they got my bed while I slept on the sofa. “Don’t worry sweetheard,” my mum said. “You won’t hear or see any evidence that we had sex on your bed.”

….

appreciate her openness now, before any mention of sex from a parent makes her squeamish.

Nature finds a way.
All those positions didn’t come from nowhere. Someone had to think of ‘em the first time. Sounds like, in times immemorial, your daughter could have been one of those pioneers when she got older.

Maybe she’ll invent some new ones someday. I reckon that’d make you proud. :)

When my daughter was about the same age, she asked me, “Do you and Mom have sex?”

“Well, you know babies come from Moms and Dads having sex, right,” I answered.

“Yeah,” she answered.

“Then what do you think,” I said.

“Ugh, you and Mom have sex,” she said!

Kids sure are bright these days.

Isn’t that the best sex ed book? I love that it goes into orgasms, etc.

LOl at your daughter for making you blush!

That is so cute! I love those books too. I have the book “What’s Happening to Me” from when I was younger - it’s so cute and real.

We have them both too. They were mine when I was a kid. :) –aag

omg. I think I would have just started giggling. Wait. I did. :-)

I just think that’s incredibly cute. And awesome that she doesn’t know yet that talking about sex might make some blush. (Sometimes I still forget that myself.)

I have to admit that one made me giggle as well. I love it…

LOL.

That was so cute…

yea, that would bother me

Children have a way of shocking us all at one time or another…Mine do on a daily basis, it makes my life more interesting to say the least

Now… how to keep the talk this open and fluid in years to co… years ahead? lol sorry….

Hahahahaha… that rocks. Oh, and that’s the book my mom used to talk to me about sex too! :)

that’s too cute… and funny

That was one of the most healthy, sex-positive conversations I’ve heard of with a child.

Like when I was 10, and out of the blue asked my father if he’d slept with other women before my mother. He answered “yes, I have, but they were all people I respected, and who respected me. It’s ok for you to have sex with whomever you choose, as long as you make the choice, and there is mutual respect. *pause* Would you like to go get bagels?”

I heart you so much right now!

Wow…i SO did not get this kind of knowledge from my parents!!! Actually, I didn’t learn about the how-to’s until 5th grade, the sex-ed field trip to some special class taught at a museum (presumably so that the day was about something other than just that).

Its terribly cute and funny tho, lol. Altho I bet you didn’t laugh until later!

Sorry I’m a late commenter. My parents gave me that very book! It’s actually pretty good, looking back. I read it with horrified fascination. Good choice.

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