To encourage my highly-energetic progeny to sleep at night instead of pronking about like overstimulated antelopes, I have summarily removed everything fun from their rooms.
I’ve removed everything fun and dangerous, though that distinction blurs where little ones are concerned. I could not trust my miniature imps in toddler beds, as they were climbing to the tops of their headboards and jumping off. Nor could I trust them with curtains; these they ripped from the rods and used as capes.
In an effort to keep the early-morning sun from prying open their eyelids, I installed room-darkening film in their windows. Ha. Hahahahaha. They peeled this off and repurposed it as mummy dressing.
I’ve confiscated toys that were employed as stepping-stones to higher dangers. I’ve put away a chest of drawers which was raided at regular intervals. Pictures on the walls? Nope. They were leaping up to knock them free. Books? Nope. Those, they ate.
I even took the bulbs from the light fixture, because the desire to flick on the lights preempted what should have been their very sensible desire to sleep.
“You’re putting them to bed too early,” I can hear you thinking, and I’ve certainly considered this. But I am putting them to bed later (much later!) now than a few weeks ago when they were (sort of) contained in their cribs. Plus, I am making a concerted effort to run the legs off of them during the day, so that at night they will be beyond tired.
And they are! As bedtime approaches, they crank across the living room floor, whining when their wee wills are crossed. It’s not unusual for them to collapse in weary heaps, clutching to their chests stuffed animals and sippy cups.
Yet when they are herded to their room and bid goodnight, they come alive. Even with nothing to distract them from sleep, they come alive. They run, they bounce, they frolic.
Their newest obsession? They pry up the heating vent from the floor and trail their chubby arms down the resultant hole.
I’m sure this is not a good thing.
Suggestions, please? I briefly considered this. Even though it’s called “humane,” I fear that some might call it an “overreaction.”
Benadryl… Duct tape….telling them that ONE TOE touching the floor will alert the monster under the bed that there is fresh, juicy child to come and eat up for his dinner…
Just kidding. ;) It was a long-ass day around my house tonight, too.
Enjoy them while they are young! Soon enough you will only be good for handing them money for gas for their car!
They may seem to be a pain right now, but trust me: they are no bother compared to what is to come when they are teenagers!
I’ve been there and done that!
J
i gots nothin’
some of my earliest memories involve sneaking a light somehow so i could read late into the night or not wanting to go to bed at midnight…
and you know what? i have NOT CHANGED at all. not a whit. i still have a hard time going to bed and consistently stay up way past my bedtime.
i can only wish you luck and patience miss
We have a bedtime routine that I absolutely refuse to waver from. The boys pick out two storybooks each, we read them, and then we turn on the Quiet Bedtime Music (Most Relaxing Classical Music Vol 1 I think) and we rock in the chair a bit. The TV and computer monitors get turned off, and all the lights in the house go off so that they’ll cue into the fact that the whole house is going to sleep – not just them.
You may want to try to divide and conquer. Put whichever kid will stay in the bed to bed first, then sit down and rock/read to the more hyper kid. I do have problems with the “first to bed” wanting to be rocked, but he’ll also get off my lap and put himself to bed while I sit quietly with Mr. All Night Rock-n-Roll Partay.
Hi AAG!
I don’t have little ones of my own, however I have done a LOT of babysitting. What always worked for me (especially if there were more than one in the same room) would be to just generally wind them down about an hour before bedtime. I do movie/snack/read story combo and then tuck them in. On the way out I would insist the light be turned off and I would play some sort of soothing CD and leave the door open a crack.
Most parents could simply not fathom how I got their kids to sleep w/out killing them and a few of the moms actually started following my plan. Also, stay away from big snacks or meals before bed. That helps, too. But if they are all crazy and running around a lot, there’s no hope there. LOL
Take Care.
xoxo – Rox
I just read that if you’re having trouble getting your kid to sleep instead of trying a 1/2 hour later (my usual solution), try a 1/2 hour earlier. It worked twice last week so what the hell–it’s worth a shot!
Be brave! ;-)
Put the room-darkening film on the OUTSIDE of the windows.
Use double-sided foam mounting tape on the inside edge of the vent cover to keep it secured to the floor. Or screw it down into the floor.
Put glow-in-the-dark stars stickers on the ceiling over their beds so they can watch/find/count them as they go to sleep. It keeps them laying down and seems fun but isn’t too stimulating.
Scent their bedsheets and/or pajamas with lavender (scented fabric softener or a few drops of essential oil in the rinse water). It’s a natural sleep/relaxation aid. They’ll subconsciously learn to connect the scent with bedtime.
Establish a relaxing bedtime routine (bath, brush teeth, read story, lullaby, goodnight kisses, lights out) and stick with it. Ask your ex to use the same routine when he’s got them – maybe tell them to teach it to him, as a test/game. Good luck with that. ;-)
misterprecedent has some good shite.
In a reverse angle… are the children allowed to play on/in their beds at anything other than bedtime? If so, they may not be connecting ‘bedtime’ with sleeping. Mayhaps they should not be allowed in/on/under their beds when not crashing out, thus helping to form the bed=sleep connection.
Just a thought. Could be I’m so far offbase it’s absurd.
Is this war really necessary?
We had one who just WOULD NOT go to bed at night. Finally I stopped trying and let him sleep when he wanted, which turned out to be around 10:00 or 11:00 at night.
A year or so later, something changed, and he started getting tired and cranky at night. I once again tried putting him to bed at 8:00, and now it worked–he went to sleep.
Many years later, he was diagnosed ADHD. I now see this as the underlying cause of many of the difficulties that we had (have!) with him. If you see behavior that seems seriously out of range, you might want to have them evaluated.
Sigh, I do know… As I read this it is 4:51AM and I have been awake for an hour now since my youngest has decided lately that getting before 4AM, singing really loud and digging through the toy box is a great idea. So I am up, keeping his leash short and trying to protect him from waking the others- although I think ME going in there to shush him or shuffle him back to bed is what is waking up the others. Sigh… I know, love. Some battles are more painful than others.
I cannot have toys in my little ones room at all.
I have to tie the handles of the wardrobe together, because he uses his clothes as makeshift toys. He has a wild imagination, which can only be a good thing! But not at bed time, especially when he has to wake up at 6.30am!
He likes to have the light on while he is going to sleep, which I turn off quietly, just before I go to bed myself. Usually giving him a bath, drying him and putting him right into bed helps him go to sleep more quickly.
But I imagine, that if he had a partner in crime, it would be a lot more complicated!
Have you considered asking your state department of corrections for recommendations of beds and stainless steel fixtures permanently bolted to the walls?
:-)
I wish I knew about those blanket things when my kids were little. Come to think of it, they might still be a good idea for the 22 year old.
I have 3 kids, one adopted… What you need to do is sit in your kids room when you put them to bed. Be prepared for a long night. Put them in bed and tell them they are going to stay in bed and go to sleep. (Make sure it is a reasonable time)
Now, when they kids get out of bed don’t speak to them, don’t react, just place them back in the bed. Don’t get angry when they fight or any kind of reaction whatsoever. Be prepared to place the kids in their bed many, many times. After you put the kids back in bed, go back to your spot and sit. When the kids start to get up and play, put them back in bed without speaking. After a few hours they will have worn themselves out (probably crying) and you will be too. A few nights of hell and the kids should be trained to go to sleep when they go to bed. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
I was actually thinking that maybe you’re putting them to bed too late. With mine, the more tired they are, the less likely they are to fall peacefully asleep. There’s that certain sweet spot that is about impossible to find, but it sounds like maybe you’re passing it up. ;) Good luck.
I agree with Karly who said perhaps they are going to bed too late. There have been times with both my kids, when they were getting up too early and having trouble falling asleep. And often the solution has been to move bedtime up a little. Just my experience. Assvice of the highest order. :)
Like Karly said above, mine do the same, too late and they are tough to go to sleep. My oldest are very close in age, when what you described began happening with me we had to move them to separate rooms, we did the stars on the walls and ceilings and kept to the tight night night routine, not sure if that’s an option for you or not, but it did the trick for us. As others have said also, we moved all playtime things to the playroom and family room, only toys really in their rooms were put up out of sight in closet, and of course their books and stuffed animals remained, bedrooms now are more for reading for them and sleep. Good Luck and hang in there!
1. Are they still napping? if so time to quit
2. Warm bath a little while before bed.
3. Consistent routine, pick the books, read the books etc. Do not deviate until this is written into their DNA.
4. Do not let them force you to make exceptions. The number one reinforcer of behavior is occasional success/reward. If you do give in, transition your position by changing the the transaction. “I told you several time no more cookies, but I suppose if you were to pickup all these toys and put them away you could earn another cookie.
Hardest thing you face as a single mom is continuity of discipline, because these little suckers will wear you down in a way that #4 sand paper can only aspire to. Firm consistent parenting is your only hope of not having them ride you into the ground. Kids will kick your ass.
No more naps for them?
But then…however will ***I*** nap?
:)
Ass beatings?
I totally agree with the “wind-down relaxing bedtime routine of baths, storytime, maybe leave the bathroom light on for them for 30 min.”… but you could always try bribery too. a small piece of candy in the morning if they go to bed and don’t get up?? Small meaning, 1 Life Saver or 1 Hershey Kiss. Candy can works wonders for little ones!! =) LOL Good luck!
oh dear.
If mine are restless i let them read a book, but if yours eat pictures … yikes.
I am *so* lucky that my littlest still needs a nap – what would i do without those couple of hours in the middle of the day???!
Bridget–
It worked on my dog (teaching him down/stay), why not kids? lol I like it!
First of all, you may not need to get rid of naps – depends on your kiddos. The old “supernanny” tricks work well, and then again, threatening works well also. When my son starts acting up (or my daughter, but usually its my son) at night time, he gets told that he’ll lose priveledges the next day, such as the wii or whatever.
Did anyone watch the pronking video?
If you didn’t, and you’ve never seen pronking before, you’re missing out.
:)
Hmm… my sister-in-law tried for a very long time to get my niece to sleep in her bed, in her room. Eventually she gave up the good fight and let her sleep on her Care Bear couch in the living room.
For some reason, playing in HER room during the day signaled to my niece’s brain that whenever she went in there it was playtime. Maybe keep them out of their room save for bedtime?
I’ve always gone against the ‘elaborate routine before bedtime’ schtick– because then if you need them to sleep, you HAVE to do an elaborate routine.
How many in one room for beddy-bye?
XOXO
Chuck
That’s some mighty fine Pronking it that there video.
If your “yoots” can Pronk like that I think you need to call the Bolshoi ASAP!
What sort of consequences do their behavior have right now? It doesn’t matter if you’re a time-out, no privileges, or a spanking sort of parent—but there needs to be a consequence if you expect the actions to stop. “Hey, stop that! Mommy said no!” is not a sufficient consequence.
April: I had the same knee jerk response (corporal punishment for the win) but obviously there is more to it than that–I’m the opposite case–I was up at 6:30 every morning as a child, even when my mother kept me up late intentionally (as she was a night owl) in a vain attempt to get me to sleep in. Sometimes sleep cycles are just biological functions, and we have to learn to deal with them.
But if we’d destroyed things as children, after we’d been told not to–that is when the beatings would have happened.
As to helping them drop off though–it sounds like naps are certainly out, and Nash is right–I have an insomniac girlfriend who associates beds with sex–getting her to sleep after a session is a test of my patience every time, and she’s an adult. She just wakes up and is ready to fuck once she’s in bed, and when she’s done fucking, she’s ready to talk.
Mister precedent’s glowing-stars-on-the-ceiling-idea is brilliant, having them count them especially.
Is this the first time they’ve been left unsupervised for a truly extended period? It could just be the novelty of freedom, in which case you might just need to give them time–and make sure no matter how late they stay up, they’re up and moving when you want them to be. Eventually, they’ll start to value sleep on their own.